Facebook 101, Help for Faders

by Gojira_101 15 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Gojira_101

  I know I'm going to get bagged on for this, but I'm really just trying to help those who are fading if they have Facebook or are on ANY social media outlets.

  First off let's review.

  .com stands for commercial

  .net stands for network

  ....etc.

  So Facebook.com is a commercial site, meaning they are trying to sell you something....or specialized advertising trying to get you to buy something because of your browsing history. Have you ever noticed how some of the ads on the side of Facebook are things that you have looked up? Yes, every website you visit is recorded and tracked and then used to fit advertising to YOU. There is no privacy on the internet.

  Since Facebook is a commercial entity they don't care what they share, even without your permission. If you are trying to fade always remember that ANYTHING you do on Facebook WILL be seen!

  Yes you can have all of your privacy settings set to the highest security, but guess what? Things still get out! That is the nature of Facebook!

  I got an email from a JW friend before I left WT and she was offended and went off on me because of the music I was listening to....I have no idea what she was talking about. I made sure not to share any music video's or not "like" any music...etc, so I checked everything! It wasn't until I was on my mom's Facebook and I was showing her something and my "activity" showed up on her Wall and sure enough it had the last several songs I listened to on a different website. Later I went onto my Facebook and there it was, my Playlist from a totally different website showed up on my Facebook. I have no idea how it got there, I never gave any permission for this site to show my playlist, but there is was for all my friends to see.

  Another example: I was friends with a JW and we grew up together, but we didn't talk beyond Facebook, so I get an email from a mutual friend grilling me as to why I'm friends with someone who is DF'd? This friend of mine became an apostate and turned lesbain....etc. I'm sure you can figure out the rest.

  I also can't tell you how many times I have been added to Facebook groups over the years, and to this day I have no idea who forced added me. It certainly wasn't me doing it accidental, and I questioned my friends and they were added without their permission also....it happens!!!!! So you know what, I didn't start reaching out to the ex-JW community on my Facebook until ALL the JW were deleted from my Facebook. But I also do know I'm taking a risk because my profile picture is my real face and my real name and all it takes is the right person who knows this friend of a friend and guess what? I'm outed!!!! But this is my risk I'm taking and I just don't care anymore if someone figures out my identity. If you are trying to keep your identity hidden...well it's common sense really.

  Lastly, all the time my friend's friends are showing up on my Facebook asking if I know them and want to be friends with this person "X" So even your friends list on Facebook isn't safe because Facebook will then show those people to others and ask if you want to be friends. Can you see where I'm going with this? If you are friends with JW and ex-JW's on the same Facebook profile, Facebook will then show your ex-JW friends to your JW friends and try to get them to be friends. Can you see how this is dangerous if you are fading?

  My advice for any faders. You CANNOT be friends with JW's and ex-JW's on the same Facebook profile, you are just asking for trouble!!!!!! It WILL come back and bite you on the backside.

  Yes you can set your privacy settings to where ONLY your friends can see things, but did you also know that sometimes other people who are not your friends can see your activity? Yup! That is the beauty of Facebook. Nothing you do on there is ever really private.

  If you want to stay in touch with your family and JW friends, and reach out to Ex-JW's, then make two separate Facebook's. That is what I did months ago. One for your JW side and one for your apostate friends. If you are choosing to leave WT through the fading way, you have to be careful and I hate to say it but you have to be paranoid and think that everyone is out to get you, because we all know even our own family can turn on us thinking they are doing the right thing by going to the elders.

  You just have to be smart about it. Anything you say or do can and will be used against you in a court of law JC meeting. Even if you are fading remember, you are the enemy of ALL JW's and we all know our closest friends or family can turn on us.

  If you have any questions you can PM me, but the only thing I can say again, is any social media outlet you are on ALL have this risk.

  I interpreted a computer security class last semester and after each class I was just sick from the fact that whenever I'm on the intertnet EVERYTHING I do is being tracked and monitiored and there is no privacy. I'm not a computer expert, but I know enough to know how dangeruos this internet can be.

  Let the arrows fly, I'm going to bed.

  G
• 

  Reopened Mind

  Thank you for the information, gojira. For us older ones the internet can be daunting (I'm 60) and confusing.

  So the bottom line is: Whatever you don't want everyone to see, don't put on the internet especially facebook.

  Reopened Mind
• 

  gingerbread

  Great advice, Gojira_101.

  Everything on the internet is there "forever". If we want to remain under the judicial radar, don't comment on, "like" or share anything on social websites or forums. Privacy settings change on Facebook. Your profile can become public or semi-public without notice.

  Never share your doubts with anyone by phone, text or email.
• 

  undercover

  Facebook 101 for faders:

  Simple, yet easy rule:

  Don't post anything or join anything or like anything or friend anyone that you don't mind your JW family or stalking JW elders to see. Period.

  And before someone goes off on the AAWA thing, if faders hadn't friended other faders or ex-JWs, they wouldn't have been lumped into the crowd that got caught up in the mess. Not blaming them, it ain't their fault, but you can't intermingle two lives into one social network and not expect some risk of exposure. If you don't want that risk, then don't use Facebook to interact with the ex-JW crowd.
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  Gojira_101

  Nice comments everyone!

  That is exactly my point! There have been times when Facebook did an update and ALL of my settlings went back to the default. There was no warning or anything! So periodically I just check my settlings to make sure they are still at what they should be!

  I know everyone is riled up over the whole AAWA thing, and I have happily left that topic alone, no matter what I say no one would listen to me, but like what reopened mind said....So the bottom line is: Whatever you don't want everyone to see, don't put on the Internet especially Facebook.

  This is the sad and scary truth of what happens when someone goes on a social media. I know of someone who was involved in a smear campaign from his soon to be ex-wife....He lost a lot of friends because his wife was spreading lies on Facebook and he didn't even have a Facebook account to know what she was saying...it didn't turn out good at all and he is still suffering from it.

  and like what undercover said you can't intermingle two lives into one social network and not expect some risk of exposure.

  That is exactly my point!

  Thank you!
• 

  skeeter1

  Beware of Friends Adding You to Facebook Groups without Permission

  Why You're Suddenly a Member of Facebook Groups You've Never Heard Of

  By Susan Gunelius,

  On October 7, 2010, Facebook opened up the Facebook groups feature to allow anyone with a Facebook account to arbitrarily add any other Facebook user that the person is "friends" with (meaning they have a connection on Facebook) to any group he or she chooses without asking first. In other words, beware of your Facebook "friends" adding you to random groups that you've never heard of or have no interest in.

  News of the new feature spread quickly across the Internet, as PCWorld reported, "when technology blogger Michael Arrington, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, and Mahalo founder Jason Calacanis all found themselves added to a group called NAMBLA. It wasn't immediately clear what this page was set up for, but NAMBLA is an acronym for the completely unsavory North American Man/Boy Love Association."

  Calacanis sent an email to Zuckerberg stating he was concerned to find himself added to a Facebook group without having the chance to opt-in first. It turned out that Zuckerberg was added to the group by Arrington who typed in Zuckerberg's name (who is his Facebook friend) and clicked a button to test the new group feature out. He learned that what he suspected was true -- anyone could arbitrarily add any friend to any group. Zuckerberg quickly removed himself from the group, and Arrington found himself no longer able to add Zuckerberg to any other groups.

  So what is really happening with the Facebook groups feature that you need to be aware of as a Facebook user? The following points outline what you need to know from the information available to users:

  • Anyone that you are friends with on Facebook can add you to any group they belong to.
  • Once you learn that you've been added to a group that you don't want to be a member of, you can leave the group. No one will be able to add you to that specific group again without your permission.
  • Once you've been added to a group, that activity will appear in your Facebook wall, but you can delete that update. However, you cannot delete the update from your Facebook feed. You can deny the Groups application permission to publish stories to your Facebook wall in order to ensure such updates don't publish on your wall or feed. Keep in mind, however, doing so means no content from any of your groups will publish on your wall. To deny group updates and notifications from publishing on your Facebook wall and feed, click on the Account link in the top-right navigation bar when you're logged into your Facebook account, and then select theApplication Settings link from the drop-down menu. Find the Groups application in the list provided, and click the Groups Edit Settings link. A dialogue box opens where you need to click on the Additional Permissions tab at the top of the dialogue box. Next, make sure the box next to "publish content to my wall" is unchecked. Finally, click on the Okay button to save your changes.
  • If necessary, you can block friends or remove friends who add you to groups without your permission, so they can't do so again.

  Unfortunately, there is no way, at the time of this article's writing, to block friends from adding you to groups without asking your permission first under the new Facebook groups feature, as theFacebook Help documentation explains.
• 

  tornapart

  I've been really concerned with internet privacy lately and have tightened up everything. I also said goodbye on FB to my exJW friends, I will have to keep them separate from now on. Also the only app I've left on FB is my Norton security app. all the rest are gone.

  I also posted this a few days ago, if anyone is interested in tightening up their internet. Stopping being tracked (especially by FB) all over the internet.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/250195/1/Tools-for-internet-privacy
• 

  RayPublisher

  Good advice TY Gojira!

  Also Mr Undercover you know your stuff TY.
• 

  skeeter1

  I hate to sound like the Watchtower . . . . BUT, anything you say on the Internet, can & will be used against you. Keep that in the back of your mind as you post. I removed my Facebook account years ago. It takes a few weeks to actually be properly removed from Facebook.

  Skeeter
• 

  *lost*

  G - excellent post.

  People really do need to become educated to how the world dreally works. ( not just the net guys ) NOTHING is ever private. Anything you ever do or say CAN and will be used against you, there are a lot nasty, vindictive, spiteful, cruel, people out there, who CAN, will, and often have turned against their own professed loved ones and bombed them totally out of the water.

  Many have personal experience of this happening to them. Fortunately this is a place where these things can be shared and talked about so we can learn from them.

  Facebook is a BUSINESS now. It's all about the money and power. you don't pay for it, you have no say, it is a free market and it's all about gleaning information.

  EVEN PRIVATE MESSAGES ARE NOT PRIVATE REALLY. They are all recorded and kept. You can send off to FBook and request they send you the info and you will get a CD back with EVERYTHING on it.

  ( I have not done this personally, but a friend told me. I think it was made public in the news. It is not verified info though )

  Put it this way, if you were married and having an affair, facebook would not be the place to do it. So don't do anything secret on it.