My daughter asked to be an unbaptized publisher. What do I do?

by Indian Larry 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Indian Larry

  AlanV – She is well aware of a lot of the problems I have with the ORG. When her mother and I used to discuss problems I never hid it from her. I even played her about 40 min. of audio from Ray Franz (in search of Christian Freedom)

  As far as college, I did play for both of them the clip of Garrit Losch comparing going to college to getting brain surgury with a rifle shot to the head. Needless to say she IS going to college. She is already (at age 15) in early college and she already has a scholarship for a full 4 year ride, textbooks and everything. She wants to go, I want her to go and her mother wants her to go so that is a done deal at least.

  Yan Biblyan - I did mention that to her and that is a very good point. If Jesus waited until he was 30 why rush out in your teens? I will be sure to bring that up again.

  Data-Dog - I am putting together and outline (Thanks Ministry School!) of talking points and quotes. I plan on using that. Thanks.

  Jgnat: Exactly.
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  FlyingHighNow

  I discouraged my daughter from working towards Baptism when she mentioned it at 13. I told her that she was about to go through some very confusing years where she would get a lot of practice making decisions and coping with the consequences, both good and bad. I told her that If she were Baptized and made certain decisions, the elders would not care if she was a teenager and inexperienced at life. They might disfellowship her, I pointed out, which to me was too big a price to pay for a youngster just trying out her sea legs. We talked about reputations and shunning and how harsh it would be for her and for us who loved her. I asked her to wait until she was grown to see how she would feel then. She listened. Which is a good thing. She had a baby at 17. And she became enlightened about the org, as I have become so. Both of my kids have never been baptized.
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  skeeter1

  Tell her No. Tell your wife that the world is full of pedophiles and you don't want her going to ANYONE's door. If a Bible study ensues, then the householder will have more access to your child. Use fear.

  Then, applaud her wanting to help th world. Sign her up for something that will truly help. There are a million charities where children can do some of the work, along with other children. She will meet other kids and have a good time doing that.

  Then, see if she still has a need to be a publisher.

  Skeeter
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  neverscreamagain

  Great comments! Draw her out on Why she wants to pursue this step. No doubt she does not realize the subtle coercion that is moving her in this direction. The term unbabtized publisher implies distinction or advancement just like the other titles (ms, pioneer,elder), and imply that a person is moving forward. Or maybe this is what her friends are doing.

  If push comes to shove, I would tell her that like most legal decisions (in the U.S.), she will have to wait till she is 18, then she can do what she wants and accept the accompanying consequences.
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  jgnat

  Data-Dog, my current bible is the ESV journalling bible. I am personalizing it with my own observations, notes, and drawing.
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  Indian Larry

  I believe I remember reading somewhere that the WTBTS attoneys compared baptism to a contract in some litigation at some point in time. Can anyone point me to a verifiable quote showing that the WTBTS looks in baptism as a legal contract?
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  FlyingHighNow

  I was a believing JW when I told my daughter what I did. I was a believing JW who didn't agree with teenagers or even young 20 somethings getting baptized. The profundity of disfellowshipping should really be stressed to a teenager thinking of becoming a publisher because a congo will shun as severely, even without formal baptism.
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  ruderedhead

  Is her Mom pushing for her to become an unbaptised publisher as well? You have been given some really great words of wisdom here, but if Mom wants this, that might make things a bit more complicated. Ask her to wait until she is 18, using Jesus as an example as was previously suggested. Then slowly, slowly, make sure she knows EVERYTHING that is false about this org without ever putting it down. Hopefully she will agree to wait, and that will give you the time needed to open her eyes completely. Is there any way you can come up with a fun activity you all can do together on a meeting night maybe once a month? Sporting event, play, anything? I think missed meetings here and there can lessen the effect of the meetings.
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  Indian Larry

  ruderedhead - Her mom is not pushing her, however she is happy that she wants to do it.
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  Paralipomenon

  Did you ask her why?

  She might have a crush on a Witness boy and feels that being an unbaptized publisher might be a way of catching his attention.

  Long shot, but I know of many who considered that and baptism for precisely that reason.