CANADA | Toronto Star | May 3, 2013 - Jehovah's Witnesses: Kindness is an act of grace - not an obligation

by jwleaks 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  Simon

  Whoever helps them, they will claim it's JarJar's doing. No way to win.
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  jgnat

  I like Gallinger's answer.

  Small peeve,

  Bale of hay.
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  scotoma

  Is she repentant? I would make that a condition. Does she admit she was bamboozled? Is she willing to turn around? Is she truly a prodigal daughter willing to be a slave to her family just to survive? If so it is a family's obligation to help her.

  If she is just going to keep going to meetings and out in service with the help she gets.... Forget about it until she confesses her error.
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  steve2

  btt
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  JWB

  "If a brother or sister be naked and in lack of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Go in peace, be ye warmed and filled; and yet ye give them not the things needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it have not works, is dead in itself." - James 2:15-17 (ASV)
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  Gayle

  The GB will not see any accountability or empathy for this person's demise. The GB just care that they themselves will be taken care of at the Headquarters by the rank & file. They will have full care benefits. Others that just eked by, most worked enough to eke by, but no consideration for long-term or aging years. Hopefully, some JWs will read this and consider a plan B.
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  LongHairGal

  I would agree with SCOTOMA.

  Hypothetically, if this was my fleshly sister and she was totally OUT of the religion and admitted she was deceived and made a horrible mistake, then I might help. But, I would not feel "obligated". This word does not enter into the picture.

  However, if she were an active JW still sticking to her guns about the religion, I wouldn't give her anything. I would tell her she is being a hypocrite to expect somebody like ME to give her anything when I did not approve of her deliberately living on the edge.

  Nope. If I were criticized by people in this religion and described as "materialistic" because I work full-time... I don't want to know about any of them and their financial problems.

  Now, it's MY turn to run from them!
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  mamochan13

  I think the author is right to take JWism out of the picture. It's more about family relationships, albeit complicated by the religion. Here's my personal experience. I recently needed financial help. It wasn't because of my lifestyle choices, but more due to external circumstances. My brother and sister have both done extremely well for themselves financially, partly because they are smart, but also because they have a JW network that supports their businesses. I asked both for help. My JW elder brother sanctimoniously refused. His perspective is that my problems are a consequence of having left the religion and that as a non-JW I don't merit help. My JW sister, on the other hand, took the view that she wanted to help a family member she loved, regardless of religion.

  I don't think there is necessarily an obligation. But I believe family should be there for each other, no matter what, and I don't think support should be withheld simply because you disagree with someone's life choices. But there are many other things that come into play, as others have noted.
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  LongHairGal

  MAMOCHAN:

  I am sorry you were treated so coldly by your JW brother. Interesting how he felt your problems were because you "left" the religion. I wonder what he has to say about all the problems JWs have who are still IN the religion! We won't go there.

  I agree with you that families should be there for each other, no matter what they believe. The problem is that the JW religion destroys the natural fabric of a family. What about JWs who want absolutely nothing to do with an ex-JW family member and have shunned them for decades and caused MUCH pain? You think they deserve charity from that person?? Well, this is a personal decision based on different factors and has no one-size fits all answer.

  While I would never let my fleshly sister starve, I would give her groceries and let her go elsewhere for other money.

  Thankfully, I have no family in the religion so I don't really have to face this.

  As for the rest of them, I'm glad I'm not in the religion anymore. They're not passing any hat around to ME!
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  gone for good

  Toronto Star readers are fortunate indeed to have Ken Gallinger column 'Ethically speaking'

  Not a self-serving celebrity poser, nor WT style manipulation - just do the right things for the right reasons.

  JWs would do well to consult his column as a contrast to WTs fake 'theocratic ethics'.