Let me give you my story....

nita6368

Hi there everyone, I have posted a few times but after reading some life stories I decided to put mine on here in a condensed version.I don't know about anyone else but it helps me to read other peoples life stories, kind of validates that "Hey, I'm not crazy, it was the org. that was so warped." Ok, here goes...I was raised Catholic-12 years of parochial school and all only to find myself pregnant at 18 and being told by the Monseniour(higher-up priest, really old guy)that it would be bettter for my child to be born a bastard(exact word used) than for me to marry the unbelieving father-he was a baptist. That was the last time I stepped foot into a Catholic Church.My son is wonderful nearly 16 now.His father didn't stick around to enjoy him, his loss. When I was 20 this guy that I worked with would always talk to me on my breaks about the church he went to, he'd always bring the little red book and show me the pictures and ask if I'd like to see my son in the paradise(guilt trip), to make a long story short he got me to go to church with him, he was a pioneer and he even set me up with a bible study with an elders wife then he asked me out(I guess it was ok because I was studying, in his mind anyway)
Soon after he was disfellowshipped ...ooooppps...Within a year I was baptised and he reinstated and within 2 years we had our first child.I honestly have to say I progressed simply because I couldn't tell my bible study instructor NO, I used to be a pushover and she would guilt trip me into feeling awful about myself, come to think of it, thats why i got married, the old guilt trip to make everything right in Jah's eyes.Well anyway during the course of our marriage this "brother" was privately reproved, twice and finally disfellowshipped for adultery, pornography..you name it.5 affairs total.After we divorced he moved in with his girlfriend two months later, is not reinstated yet but has her studying now. I have been out from the org for about 5 years now, I was privately reproved for an incident and I asked them to disfellowship me because I didn't want to be there...so they df'd me over the speaker phone at the hall, they called me up after I had gotten home from my meeting. But I have the satisfaction of knowing that I wouldn't tell them any details about anything I refused and went home. I found out later that the PO who sat on the committee was a child molester, unbelievable. My ex and I have many problems as far as our kids go, he is on his KH kick again and forces them to go when he has them and tries to guilt them into not celebrating holidays, birthdays and such but he allows them to play sports---double standard, but we are making it, the kids are in counseling and are getting to an age where they realize how twisted his thinking is and they really don't want much to do with it.Well thats about it, I just wanted everyone to know where my thinking was coming from in my posts, 10 years in the org, 2 years as a reg. pioneer, pioneer school the whole 9 yards...what a waste. Love the board, love the stories:)

home_and_dry

Hi Nita

I'm still a 'newbie' here too, I enjoy reading everyone stories and I'm glad you are okay now after all you've been through. Hopefully your kids are on the right track and won't get pushed into anything.

All the best.

We all make a mess of our lives from time to time
It's part of the process that you stumble as you climb

nita6368

Thanks home_and_dry,

Sometimes its rough for the boys because he is still their dad no matter how warped his thinking is but their counselor is working on their self-esteem because as she says and we all know the JW's have to beat someones self esteem down before they trap them. So far we are doing good.I was in counseling for two years after I left, now I am a social worker myself.

dungbeetle

welcome (((( nita6368 ))))))

LDH

((((((nita))))))

Welcome.

Lisa

Dutchie

Hi Nita. Really enjoyed reading your story. Hope to hear more from you soon.

termite 35

Hello Nita!Good to have you here!What a great idea, to get councelling for your kids,does the ex object?Takes the negatives of the jw situation away from you,and places them in a 'public' setting.
I had similar feelings re the saying 'no' thing.I do'nt know if it's a concious decision; but they manage to make you feel you're not just rejecting the issue/doctrine etc; but them as a person.It took a long time to resolve that particular issues so I could see the situation clearly and feel I could tell them each and everything I rejected without feeling bad about myself.But boy do they know now !!!

Celia

Another interesting life story. Thanks Nita.
I always have that sinking feeling in my stomach, every time I read that kids are involved. I hope yours will make the right choice !

Prisca

Hello Nita and welcome!

I'm sorry to hear you got involved with this relgion, but I'm glad that you managed to break free of it, and so are your kids, by the sounds of it.

Beck_Melbourne

Nita

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. Wow...you have been thru a lot.

I too have kids and their father still has that borg mentality....he is still an active JW. We have our trials and errors...but the kids seem to know what they want in life now. Mind you, they are old enough to tell their Dad what they DONT want.

I just thought I'd share a little story with you about my kids, their father and the memorial last week...my ex rang me and asked me if I would take them to the memorial. I have been out 4 years now...but despite our differences...I still want to meet my ex half way where the kids are concerned, we both agree to always put the kids first, not our own personal issues. He has asked for very little from me....and he knows that the kids now have birthdays and xmas etc...and he makes no serious effort to stop it from happening. With this in mind, I agreed to take them only on the condition that the kids wanted to go. Soooo...cutting a long story short...come memorial night...eldest daughter (16) had to work and she didn't make an effort to change her shift....middle child, son (13) tells me he has no meeting clothes and he "thinks" he has a headache ..kids...u gotta love em....and youngest child, daughter (11) said none of her meeting clothes fit anymore and she can't go, but she wanted me to tell her dad that she really really wanted to go. I found her meeting dresses rolled into a ball and tucked under her pillow lol.

Anyways...welcome and we look forward to seeing more of you.

Beck

Let me give you my story....

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