The way you guys talk make it sound like life under communism. Big brother is watching you, anyone can become suspect, retribution is swift and terrible. I can't imagine what a toll it takes to live like that.
I faded while not realizing I was doing so. I was simply considered weak, a sister with a disfellowshipped husband, so I didn't much count anyway, I had been inactive for a few years, then I moved out of state.