What is an apostate? A label determined by whom? Is that how you see yourself?
This is a good topic and I enjoyed reading all the comments. First, I think it is important to acknowledge that the Watchtower does not and will never have the upper hand, unless you allow it.
"How do you know that you are a member of the governing body?"
"Oh, I don't know. I just decided that I am."
"Oh, ok. Now I choose to BELIEVE that you are because you say so."
I looked up the word 'gullible' long time ago. Glad I did.