marrying younger spouses (page 5)

Band on the Run

I love how older men see their young prey as equal to them in power. The world does not. There is a world of difference between 20 and 60. Experience forms you. Perhaps someone at 20 is mature compared to their same age peers. Society now finds these marriages reckless because of an inherent imbalance. A mature 20 year old can not be a mature 60 year old.

Eric Clapton wrote of marriage to a much younger female fan in his autobiography. He found no difference caused by the several generations difference in her age. Well, I love Eric for his music. So if Eric wants to believe this fiction, it is all right with me. Eric deserves some delusional thinking in life. I suspect his millions upon millions and celebrity have something to do with it. Of course, this is the same man who thought it appropriate and no problem to seduce his close friend's wife.

moshe

BOTR- my daughter was 28 and married a successful businessman who was about 50- they quickly had two children ( he had no kids) and then he decided he liked being single- not a problem in California- a community property state with no cap on child support. This was her third marriage and If he had asked me, I would have told him he was being reckless- but he was soo-oo much smarter than everyone else-- That said, $60K/yr child support probably didn't even register a notice on his balance sheet.

happytobefree

I'm currently dating a gentlemen 16 years my senior. And what's funny is that he is only 3 years younger than my parents and I'm 3 years older than his oldest son.

I'm not a young woman...45 years old. And I'm definitely equal in power and finances....and we even equal out in life experiences (he has taught me alot and I have taught him as well). But I would be lying if our age is not noticeable every once in a while. And I think about him getting older and slowing down before I'm ready (but it may not happen).

All I know is that I really enjoy him and I'm able to be truly myself. So everthing else just does not matter at ALL.

moshe

him getting older and slowing down before I'm ready (but it may not happen).

Yes, it will happen (and soon), unless he is on testosterone replacement therapy. This will give him a boost until 70 or so, but my doctor said the side effects could burn you out early and once started, almost nobody can get off of it. If he is taking viagra or a similar drug this could mask his age, too. I suggest you go back to plentyoffish.c0m and put your hook back into the water. I am just going to age normally and leave my toupee in the dresser drawer.

Quarterback

I was shocked recently when I went to a congregation BarBQue, and noticed this odd couple. A older women in her 7o's, married a young pioneer in his 20's. She was a widow, and developed an interest in this young man who was her tenant. I guess being free from paying rent has it's advantages. But something was missing. there was no romance, no holding hands, no laughter, no honeymoon. Maybe, that would have made the guests sick. She was inactive and he was a regular pioneer. Do you think that their are some hidden agendas in this one?

Band on the Run

Some people marry in lieu of adoption. This sounds like a business arrangement. Marriage was a business. Romantic ideals in marriage are only a few generations old. Chinese friends' parents married through arranged marriages. It shocked me but I thought they had a better long term marriage than most Americans.

A woman in her 40s does not trigger me. She can cope and make her own way. It is the deliberate preying on young women who are not mature that makes me furious. There is a famous classic film that caused a great deal of controversy when it was released. Some old man marries a teenager who is his ward. The studio almost had to pull it from theaters. The star system had to deal with the uneven casting. It seems obscene today. The same film with a slightly younger actor would stand up well.

It bothers me b/c this action was more socially acceptable in the 1950s. If I had to choose a young man's body over an old man's body, I would probably choose the young man. Incest is not pretty.

I grew up with the notion that a woman expires at 30. Everything revolved around a penis. The times are different - thank goodness.

doofdaddy

I travel a lot to Indonesia and where I hang out there are far more (some late) middle aged white women with young local guys then white men and young local women. The funny thing is the reaction of other similar aged white women. The vaste majority say "Good on them , life is short!" But if it's a white man it's "Oh how sad and desperate he is. Or she is just a gold digger!"

I agree with the first group. I have numerous friends of both genders with young partners over there and all look and seem extremely content and in love.

FlyingHighNow

One day i will be old(er) and she may have to wipe my arse, maybe she will get ill and it will be the other way, who knows. It simply does not matter.

When she sees women her age enjoying freedom, it just might matter. My dad's wife resented the hell out of his helplessness. We all wonder if she was really "outside on the patio" when he died in the recliner. It's possible that she was standing right there with him and watched him take his last breaths and did nothing to help him. She was afraid his broken hip injuries were going to eat up all of their money.

Nika Bee

I think society should be much les judgemental. How can we allow ourselves to judge about a situation we don't know completely?

I think it is good, if one starts a relationship or gets married, to openly discuss possible issues together, look into the future, be honest to oneself and to the partner. But this holds for EVERY relationship. Every situation is different. Age might be an indicator about experience, but not necessarily of emotional/intellectual/... maturity.

In any case, I think one should never say something is gross or disgusting just because it doesn't fit the norm. If an older man is together with a younger woman (or the other way round!) who are we to judge their situation?

Band on the Run

Well, society imprisons men who commit statutory rape. Protection of young women is definitely a concern for any civilization. Feminism is another factor. When I was young, an old men meant you need have no financial worries. You might yearn for a younger, learner body but your way was paid. You paid something else in the exchange. Women have more options now.

Medieval society was full of arranged marriages of very old men to young women or even girls. The expectation today is that one marries for love, companioinship, and economic benefit. There is a vast difference between a young woman and an old man. Perhaps the women styled coyotes will change this situation. If they do, at least there will be equal opportunity expolitation.

We are talking generalizations here, not actual people. If an old man wants to truly believe that a truly young woman/girl with the whole world at her feet wants to marry him, I suppose he is blessed. We make compromises in life. I believe in love more than when I was younger. It is not ga-ga love, Cinderella. Note that Cinderalla marries a prince,not an old king.

I can see decent people falling in love. Age is supposed to bring wisdom. Perhaps some men are threatened by women even approaching their age.

Of course, a much older man and a girl have fallen in love. Should we celebrate it in general? I won't.

marrying younger spouses

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