I thought of this post when I had an experience earlier today. I'm still early in my fade and thus still feeling guilty about not going out in FS on Saturday morning. Nonetheless, today I slept in a bit, went for a jog and then spent some time playing with the kids. My son had a soccer game in another town and on the way we stopped at a Quikmart to get water. There at one of the tables was a car group obviously on break from FS- two parents, two kids and one older brother. I felt this rush of complicated, extreme emotions- shame, guilt, fear, panic, embarrassment, glee, exhilaration, victory. Very strange. They just looked so odd, out of place all dressed up in a gas station with other people going about their normal business. They all looked a bit sad and underwhelmed. I was so so glad not to be one of them. It was so familiar, something I've done hundreds of times and yet in that moment seemed the most bizarre thing in the world. My son's team won their game- a great day.