Advice please - How dating works in world?

ekruks

Looking for your advice. I was born in 'the Truth', homeschooled, washed windows for work, etc.. Im rather ignorant of how the whole dating thing works.

I'm sure I'm not the only person on here who grew up 'in the Truth' and is/was a virgin in their late 20s, never been to a nightclub, etc., while everyone around them has a family/kids. It's not great for confidence (any girl is going to think I'm weird?) I would appreciate if you could share your experience of this awkward situation.

I now work in an office, but the people I work with are older than me, have kids, don't go to nightclubs on weekend, etc.. I get the idea that this is the kind of place to meet people, but not the kind of place you go on your own? It's easy in 'the Truth'. You just ask some pretty sister to do some ministry with you. The idea of walking into a bar and talking to a girl I never met before - it can seem very creepy, and most girls have a boyfriend already.

I get the impression online dating is big on here? Is this how all you guys meet people?

ballistic

What country , area are you in?

ekruks

UK.
I don't want to write more than that on here, in case I get phone calls and visits from brothers trying to disfellowship me. An elder once told me he reads 'apostate' forums to be in know of what is going on (yes, I know that's ignoring the GB advice) so we don't know who could be on here reading what we write.

ballistic

OK, well I'm glad I asked you that because our US friends are characatured in British comedy, as getting a date every weekend, for just asking, whereas British women, if asked out, are more likely to slap you for being so forward like it was a request to get into thier nickers.

Anyway. Now I've got that out the way, Loads of different advice depending on who you ask. But all I will say is this. When asked , why are you trying to pick up a date in a pub, all you will end up with is a drinker. It's not strictly always true, but mostly.

One famous person said, If you are a woman, to attract good mates, you need good looks, however, if you are a man , you just need to talk a lot.

To some extent this is true. Well, dating in pubs can take years, so how much time have you got? Dating on;line is much quicker and easier.

Terry

Back when I was in the dating mood I signed up on Plenty of Fish which is a free dating site.

http://www.pof.com/

GOOD PICTURES say it all!! Lousy pictures say even more!!

I put up my photos and description of what I was looking for.

I actively searched the photos and bios and contacted by PM those who interested me.

It was very very simple.

I probably went out on 15 meet ups and they were all very nice people.

My experience was a positive one.

If you avoid negatives and focus on positives you'll meet same-minded people.

If I were to give advice I'd say this.

Get in a "live" conversation as quickly as possible because you are wasting your time on mere "words".

There are real people and then there are the dilly-dally people and finally there are the players.

Don't waste your time. Select a good prospect and set up a date.

NEVER JUST MEET FOR COFFEE!

Bad idea.

Put some real thought into going out on a REAL date where you can talk, eat, sip wine, take stroll actively engage.

Show the other person you aren't just window shopping with a skeptical, detached attitude.

YOU ONLY GET OUT OF A DATE WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT.

Good luck.

ABibleStudent

Hi ekruks, You will need to be more confident and learn to ask women simple questions about what they are doing and like to do. If you want to make new friends, become interested in people by asking them more questions than you answer, keep your opinions to yourself (unless asked for your opinion), and keep you answers shorter until you start to feel comfortable with your friendship. Also, there are some good books out there about dating and understanding the opposite sex, such as "Martians and Venusians on a Date".

What do you like to do? Since it sounds like you are fading, it would be best to make friends with people who are not JWs. Have you visited www.meetup.com? I checked and there seems to be several meetup groups in London, England.

Also, have you thought about joining a gym? Have you thought about becoming friends with someone, who dresses well and women are attracted to, or attractive women, who might be able to give you fashion advice? The better you look and when you are seen with attractive women, the more attractive you will be to a women.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

ballistic

Terry also gave you good advice. I'm chuckling to myself, knowing the huge female? membership we have and they must be thinking how practically minded us men are when it comes to such basaly instinctive things as dating. ;)

karter

ekruks,This is were haveing been a J.W comes in handy lets face it we are used to talking to people.

Dateing sites are good.

After talking to someone for a while on line and sussing out what they like arange to meet and show genuine intrest in what they say and add your perspective to it.

Just like we were did going from door to door.

Karter.

ilikecheese

Sometimes volunteering somewhere is a great way to meet someone, if that's what you're into. They'll likely at least be sort of nice if they're into charity work, too. Maybe be choosy about where you go so that no one will see you and complain to elders or something, though.

If you still believe in God, you could try going to a church. There would be lots of women who'd think an older virgin would be attractive. If you're totally done with religion, disregard the suggestion!

You could probably meet someone at the gym or some other place where there are people. It doesn't have to be a bar or nightclub.

5go

There would be lots of women who'd think an older virgin would be attractive.

Don't go there trust it won't end well they are virgins for a reason stay away very far away even if you are a true believer. It doesn't matter how attractive they are they are the worst to get along with as they are totally dominating woman.

Also to add to this even most Christians I know in and out of the Org think older virgins are of one or three ilks. Gay, Liar, or Freak of Nature

Advice please - How dating works in world?

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