It's a good letter. However human rights groups like Amnesty International are concerned with things like ratifying the Arms Trade Treaty at the UN this month. Also the imposing of the death penalty in various parts of the world, Female Genital Mutilation and the incarceration and torture of prisoners of conscience everywhere.
When compared to these serious issues they may find the difficulties of people in a religion hard to understand. Why don't they just leave, they are not in prison? Of course we know they are, they are in mental prisons enforced by mind control. Those that leave are tortured by the thoughts of the suffering of the family they leave behind and by being forcibly prevented from seeing members of their own families. This is something that human rights organizations are familiar with.
Also the emphasis on child abuse is excellent in your letter. The rights of children are high on the agenda in A I as illustrated by their emphasis on putting a stop to FGM.
I wish you well with this and I will give some thought as to the possibility of raising the JW human rights issue to AIUK.