A few weeks ago watched a film called the Truman Show. Many have seen it--Jim Carrey plays a man whose life is staged as a reality show--only he doesn't know it. He is the only "real" person in it. Everyone else in it are actors--so, pleasant as it is made for him, it is false. Ultimately, he "wakes up" to it.
And he couldn't stand it.
That is what happened to me when I learned TheTruthAboutTheTruth. I was driving to the meeting alone in my truck when it occurred that all the things that had happened pointed to one thing--it was false. My truck turned into a parking lot along the road and I sat and shook and cried. And could not go to a meeting again. I went for discussions with the elders--but never again for a meeting and do not like to remember them now at all.