GOSSIP In the Kingdom Hall

by Sunflower1982 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  Sunflower1982

  The overwhelming amount of gossip that circulated through my Kingdom Hall was a major factor in my decision to stop attending meetings. Every meeting, every day of field service, and every gathering was plagued with vicious rumors that people told to keep themselves entertained. Surprisingly, the pioneers and elder's wives were the WORST of everyone. I guess since all other forms of entertainment are subject to the WTBTS' criticism, they resort to speculating about other people's "spirituality" to pass the time. Their constant gossip resulted in a total lack of trust in the congregation and exacerbated the already growing division between the brothers and sisters.

  I was just wondering if any of you had similar experiences with gossip in the Kingdom Hall. If so, did it contribute to your leaving the organization?
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  spender

  I'd say so. My mother being a pioneer, everything took whatever she said as the truth. After all, she's a pioneer, she can never lie! Everyone in the hall had a one-sided view of me...her view. It was very embarassing. There's definitely a problem with gossip, especially when many times it was completely false!
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  Shimmer

  I would say that second to gluttony, gossip came in a close second. They were all a bunch of fat-ass gossipers. But that didn't have anything to do with me leaving. But it did have a lot to do with not being friends with any of them. Or wanting to go out in service with them, or pretty much have anything to do with them.

  Shimmer

  Maybe being oneself is alway an acquired taste.-----PATRICIA HAMPL
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  Xenu

  The congergation is like a family. And gossip is to be expected. However this does not justify it. The Holy Book contains stern counsel to the first Century Christians regarding this matter. If it was an area of concern for them, it is going to be an area of concern today.
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  Francois

  Gossip in the KH was and I suspect still is the national sport of JWs, including the men.

  Francois
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  lydia

  I would say that the gossip mill was running on overdrive when my
  x-husband got disfellowshipped - he ran off with one of the prominent elders families neices (his family was well known ther too- we had just moved to the area and I knew noone - not having been raised "in' or in he area)...and they knew all about it at the hall

  - I couldn't bear to face them. So I quit going. ( I had had several experiences of Elders wives gossiping in the old cong) Aparently - those things that are told to the elders are not kept privy - they tell their wives who thrive on the info - and that only they "know the whole story" - mostly the wrong info too!

  Once away - I started to question alot of things..It took me about 6 months of not going to realize how much of a cult it all was...

  Now I am at peace and free from the WTBS and loving every minute of it!
  Wish the best to you !

  Welcome to the board!

  Lyd
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  Carmel

  Growing up as a Jw brat, I thought all the gossip was just normal behavior and never questioned it. After I left the borg and began dating the girl who is now my wife, I continued to flap my jaws about others, criticizing everything about everybody. She made it known to me in no uncertain terms that back biting and gossip was unbecoming and she didn't like it. I thought it was just her hang up but gradually over time I began to appreciate NOT gossiping. Now I look back and remember how much time my family wasted sitting around the diner table backbiting. It truely was a sporting event that was part of all the JW social climate. When I think of it, it seems the Witchtower and Awake set the standard by constantly critizing other religions and especially the Pope. Virtually every magazine had something derogatory to say about the Pope, Catholocizm or some other religious leader.

  The troups only reflect the leaders example.

  carmel
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  LDH

  Francois,

  Thank you for admitting that the men are just as bad if not worse than the women!

  The difference is, they are able to disguise their gossip as 'congregational business.' [8>]

  They disgust me. shimmer is right. If they had other activities in the congregation, they'd have other options.

  With my 'worldly' girlfriends, when we gossip, we tell on ourselves. I might tell my girlfriend Christine I disapprove of a certain method of her finding a guy, and then I say, "Wait till I tell Debbie" or something.

  There is NEVER the intense dislike for the victim of gossip that so often occurs in the JW.

  One of the biggest reasons is this: in a worldly church you are free to participate or not, be active or not, like the deacon's wife or not. As a JW your spirituality is judged by outward appearances, and *at all times* the appearance of unity must be maintained, just for appearance's sake!

  So even when you hate someone's guts, you act like you like them--until their back is turned!

  How unhealty!

  Lisa
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  ConnieLynn

  Sunflower - ugh! is all I can say. It is so true! I was a pioneer myself for a long time, and you are right, car groups for service were usually full of the latest gossip. I know I participated at one point in my life. I feel bad about that. The gossip was just nasty stuff about people, especially people who weren't out in field service or had missed a few meetings. Very self righteous talk. One MS who was also a pioneer was the worst one in our hall..surprisingly (setting an example). It made my stomach hurt, especially when I had started checking out (mentally) and knew I didn't want to be in service etc...

  What else do witneeses have to entertain themselves??? Not much!
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  ChakkaConned

  Hi Sunflower

  I couldn't have expressed it any better than you have here. Yes, gossip was a problem in my old congregation and that was a big part of the reason I decided to begin my exit. Nothing devides people like gossip and JW's have cornered the market on it. It truly is a love killer. I believe that is the reason that very few, if any, real friendships are formed with other JW's, contrary to what the "faithful to excrete" slave portrays about the "love among themselves" speel to the unsuspecting public. Many are paranoid and untrusting of each other because they have learned to be because of gossip. The society promotes gossip by encouraging members to "watch your association"....not JUST in the world, mind you, but in the congregation as well. I think this sets up the environment to freely judge others "out loud", so to speak and to feel justified in doing so. So, you're right. Other's spirituality or lack thereof is open season and entertainment for your basic JW.
  Of course, gossip is not absent in other groups or religions and does seem to be a universal human pastime. But JW's spend so much time couped up with each other engaging in meaningless tasks and most are probably miserable people, well...that misery has to come out some way. I knew it was bad when a few sister's I knew moved away and when we spoke on the phone, the whole conversation centered around who in the congr. was going to all the meetings, who was missing them, are they going out in field service, etc.? UGH

  Enjoyed your post.
  
  Spender: I am sorry to hear about your Mom's behavior. Betraying her own flesh that way is inexcusable!((hugs)) to you.