'We are all scallywags, but God loves us anyway' - My story

by Laika 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • Laika
    Laika

    Part 5:

    This has already gone on much longer than I had planned, and I am not sure that anyone is still reading! So I do not want to go on forever about everything I found wrong with the Watchtower Society, most of these would only be things you've all heard before anyway. I took that first terrifying step onto the Internet, and I found websites by 'apostates and opposers' I found out about 607, the location of the great crowd, the failed prophecies etc... I read and loved both of Ray's books. I also read books against Christianity, such as 'The God Delusion' and I'll admit to some doubts and my own dark night of the soul. I am still a Christian but I see no use in pretending I have all the answers or that there are no problems with Christian faith.

    Of course, not everything about this journey was good. It was a wonderful experience getting to know the Father who is Love and his son, having lived most of my life with strong feelings of guilt up to this point, the freedom from this was incredible as I've said. But there is the flipside that we all know. We all have families and friends trapped in this religion, we cannot be truly honest if we want to keep them in our lives, I realise nobody can get out without experiencing any pain.

    Shortly after my first experiences reading the NIV bible, I got the chance to move to a new country for work. A year earlier I probably would not have taken this chance as it would have seemed bad for my spirituality, but now it was a great opportunity to explore my beliefs with more freedom. Living in a big city (London) instead of the small town I came from, meant, for example, that I could try different churches, or go to a Christmas party, and probably not get caught.

    I did join a new Congregation when I moved here, when I came up for reappointment as an MS, I simply turned down the chance saying I was finding I am too busy with work to really commit myself. (Ok, I am still not nearly as honest as I should be...) As I did not really know anyone in the new congregation I could get away with this without causing too much suspicion. But I did carry on going to meetings for a little while and still felt I could be a Christian and a member of the Society. I think the last straw was actually at the 2 day assembly at Haysbridge earlier this year. The brother was giving a talk on soundness of mind, or wisdom, and his big example was to share a story of a girl who had been raped on a night out. He argued that this girl had not shown wisdom, by going out late at night. The irony of doing a talk on wisdom, and the lack of wisdom involved in telling a room with 900 people, where statistically the odds were high that there were several rape victims in the audience that they could be at fault for their rape was apparently lost on this brother. I was furious however and I complained about this after to anyone who would listen to me but got nothing in response. The refusal to criticise anything from the platform ever was now too much for me, I wanted nothing to do with this Organisation anymore.

    I have been fading since, my family are still not fully aware of my position on the Watchtower Society, but I have made the decision to talk it through with them soon now I am closing in on a successful fade. I have no intention of disassociating myself, if I can get away with it, I will just disappear from the new Congregation. But if my actions get back to my new elders and I am called to a judicial meeting for apostasy, I won't attempt to deceive the elders, I will just not attend and deal with the consequences as it happens.

  • Laika
    Laika

    Part 6:

    I am sure anyone still reading will be pleased to know this is the final part. :)

    Last month when I was talking to my brother I jokingly asked him 'If I got disfellowshipped would you still talk to me?' Really, my question was serious but I put it over as a joke to not worry him. His reply was a curt and instant 'No' to say I was hurt would be an understatement. I think all anyone ever wants out of life is to be loved and accepted, warts and all, most people in the world find this in their families, I think the greatest sin of the Watchtower is that they take even that away from us, and the greatest pain I think in leaving the Watchtower Society comes not in finding out the TTATT but in losing your acceptance. Yet, like everything else in Watchtower World, that acceptance is also dishonest, a sham, because it's conditional on your behaviour and ability to appear spiritual.

    But just as you see rare moments of honesty in JW world, you can always cling to the possibility that deep inside there is a love that can overpower the Watchtower way and I have thankfully seen bits of that in my family. A few years ago when I was still fully in, my sister got in some trouble that looked like resulting in a judicial committee and probably a disfellowshipping. I did not want to lose my sister from my life so I worked to convince my father to cover this up by arguing any other elder would do the same. He was not in favour at first but then came around and my sister got away with it. Obviously he did not want to lose his daughter either. Of course this may have been different if she had been disfellowshipped, and sadly there is no greater sin in Watchtower World than becoming a non-believer. For my part I had promised my sister I would talk to her even if she was disfellowshipped. She stayed a JW so I hope she remembers this and I am rewarded for it!

    We all need a kind of hope to get us through the day, I think we should never give up on that. No matter what my family's reaction to me will be when I come out of the Watchtower closet, they have mostly been good to me in life, and I will always be willing to forgive them and take them back into my life even if they have shunned me.

    It's been a hard journey in many ways, and continues to be so, but I have no regrets and would not change it for anything. It is an exciting thing to try to explore the world as it really is, and I hope we can all find a much more honest place in our exit, even if we do take different directions. We may not all believe in Jesus, but I think we can all agree with his words at John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free"

    :)

  • Laika
    Laika

    Sorry I'm late revisiting this...

    Thanks guys for your responses, most of you mention that you (or others you knew) didn't feel they were doing 'enough' I certainly had that problem too on occasion, but most of the time that wasn't the big issue for me. I rarely missed meetings and get above the average for hours.

    My guilt generally was because I didn't feel I had the right motivation when serving so the time I put in was irrelevant. Did anyone else struggle with that?

  • prologos
    prologos

    *** Laika, it occured to me that you will not be in Pradise on earth, because of the indication of your prophetic name Laika,

    the first goyim that went to heaven, no,

    not Cornelius the first real Other Sheep, but

    the dog the Russians put on a rocket and into orbit. above the mid-heavens of wt nomenclature. and

    paradise might include heavens too after all.

  • Laika
    Laika

    Good spot prologos, the name combines 2 of my favourite things, dogs and astronomy. Sadly, that poor dog did not last very long. :(

  • irondork
    irondork

    Read every word of it.

    Yours has been quite a journey. It's refreshing to hear you retained your Christian faith throughout. That part of it has been a struggle for me too. It's bent and twisted, but it's still there and I'm plugging along.

    Keep us posted on how things go with your family - if the poop hits the fan.

  • obfuscatetheobvious
    obfuscatetheobvious

    Hi Laika,

    Thanks for sharing your story. There is much that I can relate to, while the jump off point, journey and outcome has been very different for me.

    I really like the way you presented your take on the prodigal son story. I think that many Witnesses would find a lot of comfort and joy in the interpretation that you have found or even in having a discussion that included your interpretation.

    I wish you the best on your continuing journey and hope that this forum can provide you support as is required.

    Cheers, Ob.

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    Laika, if ou look up at the top right of tis post, you will see the number of people who viewed your post. It is over 360. I think folks are enjoying your story.

    Your story made me think of something. I never wanted to invite newly interested ones to the book study or Watchtower lesson because I felt they would think badly of us, like we were over the top with the scriptural interpretations. I felt they would think we were crazy, but I didn't think we were crazy at the time. Cognitive disonance anyone?

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    Laika, if ou look up at the top right of tis post, you will see the number of people who viewed your post. It is over 360. I think folks are enjoying your story.

    Your story made me think of something. I never wanted to invite newly interested ones to the book study or Watchtower lesson because I felt they would think badly of us, like we were over the top with the scriptural interpretations. I felt they would think we were crazy, but I didn't think we were crazy at the time. Cognitive disonance anyone?

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    Welcome Laika, I enjoyed your story and hope your family will stand by you no matter what happens. It sure is a roller coaster ride but it does get better as time goes on.

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