I'm a secondary school teacher and I've spent a lot of time at school this year since I've left JWs simply observing student dynamics. I do a lot of playground duty and have the opportunity to observe the kids at play and in the classroom. I've especially had the opportunity to observe middle school kids, that is, kids between 12 and 15 in my state.
My observations of these 'worldly' children are:
- They play a lot of active games, like 'tag', handball, chasing each other, gentle wrestling etc (younger teens and usually boys)
- Some play contact or team games like basketball
- They play computer games on their phones and watch each other play
- They listen to music and watch music clips on their phones
- They go to the library to use the facilities or do school work
- They sit/stand around in groups and talk and laugh very loudly and generally enjoy each others' company
- They are usually very free and easy around each other
- Throughout all these social and gaming interations, they self-regulate and generally behave safely and harmoniously
- They socially mediate their group rules without any help from adults and regulate each other's behaviour through the unspoken rules of the group
- They are very expressive of their emotions and can be quite affectionate to their friends
- While the teachers maintain the rules, the kids 'own' the playground. It is their space to enjoy themselves.
In conclusion, the kids in the playground, while a bit rowdy at times, are basically well behaved and such unstructured time allows teenagers to develop and negotiate valuable skills such as teamwork, mediation, negotiation, networking and socialising. They learn to respect others' differences and navigate around difficult personalities. As the duty teacher my job is to ensure the kids don't litter, do anything dangerous like climb onto the covered walkway, anything illegal such as smoke, and keep within the school boundaries. Occasionally trouble breaks out in the playground, but I'm talking like once a month.
Now contrast this with my years of observations of JW kids 12-15 years old in places where many of them are gathered together lunch breaks at assemblies:
- They never play ball games- at DC venues there are places where they could, but I've never seen a kid pull out a ball.
- They never run and chase each other
- They do not listen to music or play phone games together
- They show little physical affection
- They do form groups, but there is never the loud bursts of laughter and good-natured loud outbursts from them as they will be pulled up
- They very rarely are allowed to mediate and negotiate their own group dynamics as there is always an authority figure hushing or mediating for them
- There is none of that ease of movement and little spontaneous expression among them
- They often appear ill at ease in the environment
In conclusion, they behave in a much less natural, more subdued manner. The younger teens especially do not do the things younger teens do, ie physical activity such as games of handball, tag and general horseplay. The teens are not allowed ever to be loud, and being loud is a perfectly normal teenage behaviour. They calm down as they get older, say into senior years. Middle teens being loud usually means they're NOT doing something wrong because they are being spontaneous and have nothing to hide. JW teens are rarely spontaneous in their JW peer group like they are in the playground. As for group dynamics, loudness and physical movement as well as congregating in groups is how they develop and mediate their dynamic. JW kids are mediated from outside their groups rather than allowed to develop their own dynamics.
Now, teen group behaviour does need to be monitored and boundaries have to be set, and the playground duty teacher does this within the school's established parameters. She also polices the kids to the extent that they are not doing anything illegal or dangerous. Apart from that, the kids can play and talk how they choose. In being allowed to do so, they develop valuable social skills such as negotiation, mediation, empathy. But consider the extent to which teen JWs are monitored: it's not just a matter of keeping them in the venue's boundaries, but there are parents, elders, attendants and others everywhere. Kids are never allowed to be loud. They are judged by what they wear and how they speak by all the adults around them.
I believe that the JW kids are not allowed to BE kids. I was not raised JW and would like to hear from those of you who were, commenting on my observations and including your own experiences.
Now JW kids in the middle school classroom- that's a whole new thread.