still hurts..

by spirituk 12 Replies latest social relationships

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  slimboyfat

  Do you still see each other?
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  mouthy

  Take my advice lad.... Go find another gal!!!!
  This one will break your heart more,in the end...
  She is not allowed to give her heart & mind to anyone

  except the Faithful & discreet slave
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  SophieG

  I notice that you are putting so much energy into/about her…your thoughts, your pain, focusing on missing the things SHE gave to you: HER love, HER kisses, etc. At some point you have to give yourself some of that attention. You’re putting energy out there that is not being returned. Stop doing the same things, expecting different results. Time for a change. Depending on another person for love and affection will only leave you wanting. She can’t give you that so give it to yourself.

  Facing the reality that she is not coming back, leads to the next question: What next? Ask yourself that question and see what the answer is. The best way to deal with unrequited love IMO is focus on you. Fill your time and energy doing things that give you some peace.
  
  If this is your first real love, it’s ok to always have a special place in your heart for her, and not have all the answers and resolution you need now. You will always love her. But pining away won’t bring her back and will only hold YOU back from possibly experiencing a situation where you get what you need in return. You’re so young. The possibilities are so great for you to meet someone new who brings real joy into your life and STAYS in it. Stop standing in your own way of getting that.

  I have been there, both as that JW girl who ran from someone and hurt them and as the one who had to LET GO of a special person. It takes time. I know the first step in healing and moving past it, is to accept the person is not going to come back…that acceptance in itself can help you move forward. But it will only happen when you’re ready and when you’re tired enough of the pain you’re experiencing.

  But when you get thru this part, when all the angst/heartache has been sifted out, you’ll get to a place where all you have left is the love you felt for her, minus the need, but also a freedom that you’re not chained to the hurt.

  Hang in there.