I remember Bechman. What a pompous ass. And I lived in the A building for a while too when I first arrived. It had its own vibe. I remember reading the Studies in the Scriptures on particularly lonely day and thinking WTF!!! Anyone who browses thoses books will be convinced very quickly that CT Russel was bat shit crazy!
Anyone else an Ex Bethel "volunteer"
by BackseatDevil 127 Replies latest jw experiences
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BackseatDevil
@laverite Thank you very much for reading. I know it's a long story and takes some committing to. I'm sorry if I made you unproductive at work or anything LOL. Honestly, thank you. feel free to share if you think anyone my benefit from it.
@lrkr I guess what you're saying is that i should NOT post pictures.... LOL. I don't think I ever read ONE thing that made me think everything was shit. I mean, the humanity in general was already a big issue in my head, so for me it was just a matter of a series of rules... whatever those rules were and whatever they were compromised of didn't matter, the point is that there are rules - follow them.
When getting to WTF, i realized the double standards and the unfairness between departments and workers. THAT is when i thought that place was "bat shit crazy".
And I'm still like that, even today. The dogma is dogma... it doesn't matter if it's Mormon or Jehovah's Witness... it's the same series of rules just different shades of coloring. It all looks the same to me because the output is the same.
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gma-tired2
Backseatdevil I just fininshed reading your experiences, very good but difficult for a mother of a gay EX-JW to read. I did read it and my heart goes out to you for your experiences at Bethel, I understand a little more why my nephews refuse to speak about their experiences. May you go on to have a happy life.
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BackseatDevil
@gma-tired2 Thank you for that. I hope the read wasn't too difficult, or at least your gay ex-JW wasn't a obnoxious as I, LOL. The greater point isn't the shocking value of the situations of the world, but the relatable emotions for which we find ourselves interracting with humanity, whether gay or straight, male or female. I hope that was able to come through.
Thank you for reading and yes... i have had a much MUCH happier life.
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LisaRose
I read the whole thing all in one sitting, I couldn't put it down. I have read other accounts of Bethel and so I wasn't completely shocked, but it was still hard to take in. The complete lack of concern for basic human dignity was hard to comprehend. I have pain issues and so I completely emphasized with your knee issue. Pain is hard to take long term, especially when you are not getting the medical care you need. It wears you down and changes your personality. Sometimes I can't even remember what it felt like to not be in pain. That you were able to get through that without punching somebody is pretty incredible.
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Aunt Fancy
Backseat, I just started reading your story and had to tell you I was at the Astrodome in 1985 and got baptized there in 1986. My mil was raised in Victoria also. You are about my son's age and I am so thankful he was never baptized. So far your story is interesting and very well written,
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laverite
I'm still blown away by your book, Backseat. I'm preparing to sit down with a cup of tea to reread it. I wish it were available as a print on demand book from amazon, as I'd love to have it in my library.
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BackseatDevil
@LisaRose Thank you for that. It's annoying, and the pain eventually went away (after like a year)... but it's a horrible feeling to wake up in the morning and realize.... "yeah, i'm going to be in pain today... AGAIN." THAT statement never goes away. Anyway, thank you.
@Aunt Fancy Thank you as well. It gets a little crazy, but there is a point to it (from a humanity level). But honestly, if something gets too gay, just skip to the next chapter. LOL.
@laverite I honestly would love to have it published. It needs an editor and a checker. I have gone through it a million times and still find small errors, so I just stopped looking at it. I am a perfectionist... but even I know at some point I need to hand it over to someone else and let them deal with the "production" aspect of it. If you know anyone please let me know LOL!! (and I thank you for finding it worth a second read).
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lrkr
Just finished reading your story. I always thought Bechman was a lazy, arrogant slob. I nevrr realized he was a total power hungry psychopath! I am so sorry for your trials- but it looks like through struggle you eventually found freedom- and that is all any of us can hope for. We may have known each other but it was probably just a "hey bro" relationship like most were at Bethel. Re posting of pics- its always fun to reminisce. I have put that world so far behind me I have difficulty remembering details anymore. Btw- Zen Galileo on this board was also at the farm at the same time as us.
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BackseatDevil
@lrkr I don't know that I saw Bechman as power hungry, pre se... he was just authoritative... and power was then thrust onto him... like people thowing sticks into a blazing fire, not wanting to get too close. At the kingdom hall it was more noticeable because the local brothers were just so... QUIET. And to this day I cannot figure why in the hell he would create such things in the letter he sent other than... insecurity. But honestly, we were NOTHINGS compared to him. It honestly was one of those "just wait it out and the problem will take care of itself" type deals, and both Aaron and I would have been out of there in no time. There was no need for the extra pondersoity.
And talking to him on the phone, without his towering presence I remember thinking "Oh, my God... he's such a whiny little bitch." LOL.
I, like you, have left that world far far behind me. After a year or so I wrote everything down with the purpose of one day revisiting it and putting it in to an artistically structured format. I did not realize how much I remembered in re-reading a lot of things. I have consumed... copius amounts of alcohol for the single purpose of forgetting... LOL. and yet, BAM, there they all pop up.
Thank you, BTW... there is an immense freedom in living honestly. And I'm hoping you moved on successfully as well... OBVIOUSLY you have moved on from the religion. That's a good step. :-)