How much have you changed as a person ?

by Phizzy 31 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Phizzy

  Interesting comments so far, I have found that a couple of things I at first viewed as negative have turned out in the main to be positive.

  Upon realising that there was not only no bus to paradise, but that the bus stop itself was an illusion, I had to face the future as totally uncertain, no Sky-Daddy was going to sort it out, and I had to face my own Mortality.

  That has made me a better person, valueing each day much more, and determined to make the world and its future a better place.

  I also viewed as negative the loss of all the "friends", many of these I had seen born, grow up, and have children of their own.

  But I have found a positive come out of that, it is that I have seen the need to cultivate friendships with genuine people, to be selective to a degree. But from this I have discovered how many wonderful people are outside of the JW LaLa Land.

  I think I too will continue to grow and to change, hopefully for the better.
• 

  Xanthippe

  I hope I am less black and white in my thinking. People are not good or bad, a lifestyle is just a personal choice and an opinion is just that, it doesn't mean if I don't agree I have to dislike the person.
• 

  punkofnice

  I am still going through an 'Oh, bladdy hell, I'm on my own and doomed!' stage.

  Will it pass? I don't know. I look at life and it's sh1t. I actually hate living.
• 

  Joliette

  To be honest I am a little more distrustful of people, even some ex Jehovahs Witnesses, but especially of religious nutjobs, and overbearing Jehovahs Witnesses who think they are right and everyone else is wrong. My family (relatives) have never really been close my immediate family are somewhat close, but lately, theres been a lot of tension, and sometimes I kinda wish that I had another family, one that was less religious, not over the top. I know thats kinda wrong, but I felt so alone growing up in that Jehovahs Witness crap. I always knew something wasnt right about that religion, but I felt trapped, and doing research confirmed it for me. My parents are religious hypocrites who want to talk about EVERYONE except them. Thanks to them, thats why I am such an atheist. Its everyone else, not them. The only thing that I feel like I have is this computer and internet and keyboard to type out what I feel, but sometimes, I dont think its enough. Now I work at a job that I CANNOT STAND, trying to get back into school, but just getting into more debt, single, childless, no type of security, no END OF THE WORLD. But of course I did it to myself!!!!!!!!!. I refuse to accept this as my reality...so I am leaving my hometown in 2016 to finally get Jehovahs Witnesses out my system for good! But having websites like this and also YOUTUBE has helped me a whole lot. I know it was so much tougher for former Jdubs back in the day. I am so happy that times have changed and now former members have a place to go to and vent.

  But I think I want to stop spending so much time online and really get out and start doing some protest, really getting my feelings out there.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hppT3ChUL8
• 

  *lost*

  phizzy

  punk I used to feel like that, for like, forever, not now. Have sorted out a lot of things that were troubling me, I just realised all i had to do was, let go.

  Happier, more energy, plans, future, kids, new fella, gonna get married, living the dream. it's amazing to be alive now, to 'feel' alive.
• 

  SophieG

  Phizzy:
  Upon realising that there was not only no bus to paradise, but that the bus stop itself was an illusion, I had to face the future as totally uncertain, no Sky-Daddy was going to sort it out, and I had to face my own Mortality.

  When the fog finally lifted for me, I drop kicked that silly notion of paradise. Then I realized: I have HOW MUCH time left? I have given enough of my time, energy and life to a really huge lie. They won’t get another second from me! They will get their’s in due time. Right now, I better get to living!

  I have this clear vision of my future…unless I die suddenly… I am old, taking my last breath with a big ‘ole toothless grin on my face. I am grinning because I lived it and did it all.
• 

  torrent

  How do you feel you have changed ? Less stress, not judgemental anymore, better connected with people.

  Are any of the changes negative in any way ? No.

  Do you feel this process of change is an on-going thing, or do we reach an equilibrium ? I am still on-going. It's like starting all over. I really had to tear-down my beliefs and preconceptions to the very foundation to cleanse myself of the JW beliefs that I had had all my life. I read the bible and pray everyday, but really have no direction or destination yet. Despite all the questions that remain, it feels great to really be out of that cult.
• 

  Phizzy

  Don't be so hard on your future self Sophie, I see you with one tooth still left in your head !

  And Punkie, I am sure that feeling will pass, if not, and I am serious, Therapy from a qualified counsellor is excellent, worked for me.

  Gone from suicidal to just pure looney. LOL
• 

  James Brown

  I have more time to do what I want, and I have less guilt about what I do.

  Now I am 60, when I escaped from the tower I was 33.

  I don't have any friends.

  I know lots of people and interact well with them but I don't go out to dinner

  or other events with people like I did as a witness.

  I'm fine with that. Some of it is due to technology and finances.

  And I know part of it is not wanting to get caught up in another cult

  or another activity that is a waste of time and life.

  Im not a social outcast I play soccer twice a week and know maybe

  100 people who play soccer. Also I play music in bands and know

  a lot of people from that. Just no one I call a friend.

  I have 168 friends on face book. But still no interaction or

  friends like I had as a witness.

  Nowdays I talk to disfellowshiped people and homosexuals.

  When I was a witness I had never read the bible.

  I only read it as a witness piece meal here and there to

  be brain washed to the societys agenda.

  Since I have left the witnesses I have read the bible cover to cover 7 times in

  5 different translations. That is something I would not had time to do as a witness.
• 

  Mum

  In many ways I am 180° from the person I was as a child and young adult. I am no longer withdrawn and can talk to almost anyone about almost anything. I have stood up to bullies. I have read a lot of self-help books. I had a roommate once who said to me, "Mum, there's nothing wrong with you. You're fine. Get rid of all of these self-help books. You don't need them." I disagreed and still do. There's always room for improvement.

  My second husband helped me finish college and get a bachelor's degree. I am still in love with learning, and love being open-minded. I accept other people as they are, whether they be gay, religious, or whatever. I don't try to change what is normal for them, but I can go all "Dr. Laura" if I think they're doing something harmful to themselves or others. I know that I have a lot to learn from others regardless of their station in life.

  Sometimes I have insights and/or premonitions because my mind is now relaxed and I don't fight hunches. I am far less emotional or prone to worry than I was before.

  I have learned to like myself and see myself as a good person.