by lv4fer 21 Replies latest jw friends
I have only two close friends who are witnesses that I care about. I would like to share my feelings with them and still not get dfd. Do you think it is possible or should I forget it. Where is a good place to start as far as giving them information to help them see the real truth. Is this a really bad idea? Advice please.
"The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself."
Rita Mae Brown
As many here would tell you, go slowly! If you're really concerned abou their spiritual welfare, I would start by stating something very simply... like, "I heard x, y, z about the WT's association with the UN... have you ever HEARD such a thing?" Posing the question like you can't quite believe it. You'll get your answer quick enough about whether they'll just dismiss it or are really curious and TRULY spiritually concerned. If they dismiss it, I personally would totally drop the subject with them, unless, of course, you want to find yourself in front of a committee. They'll turn you in faster than you can blink because they'll think they're "saving" you. Another thing to think about, on another thread a while back, someone said to why not just let sleeping dogs lie, in a sense. If it's not hurting anyone and you do not want to make waves, you continue to believe as you wish and let them continue to worship as they like.
Hi Lv4fer,
I tried this a few times when I was still attending meetings and was considered a good upstanding JW. It turned into elder meeting. I was very careful, and vaguely hinted at problems in Watchtower chronology in the past. The next thing I knew, my best friend set up an elders meeting for me. I was shocked, and yet, not shocked.
I expressed my dismay to the elders that if the person who turned me in had a problem with something I said, why didn't he go by *the Bible* and lay bare my fault between him and I? The elders were embarassed, and so was my supposed best friend. But I knew I couldn't speak to the elders about any doubts I had after that. A lynch mob formed too quick. My best friend kept saying, "Can't we get past this?" He was an elder and had a typical JW elder knee jerk reaction. *Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!!!"
My two sense says, if you want to keep your JW friends, then keep your mouth shut. If you are willing to risk losing them, then share a little bit of what you know and see how they react. But if they are "hardcore JWs" then you can expect the aposto-alarm will go off in their little head and elders will be informed.
that wud depend on how good of a friend they perceive YOU to be. If they still are buyin into the whole borgish idea and philosophy then leave em be...but thats just MY opinion...we all have to find out for ourselves what is true and what isnt...but hey if u DO try and help em best of luck to ya! It might have an opposite effect tho just be preapared for that if it happens...
My advice here differs from the majority. I don't think its wise to try to concentrate on doctrinal disagreements.
I think the best way to help witnesses is to help them start a new life. Get them involved socially with non-witnesses, have them do volunteer work. Something charitable and compassionate as Metatron says in his Field Service post.
What really helps witnesses is to see that there really is no big black dividing line between them and "the world"
Joel
Here's the problem -
You'll be asking your friends to set aside the "concern for your everlasting life" that has been drilled into them, and their loyalty to the Borg, the source of everlasting life,
and choose instead to be "loyal" to you, who can give them so little compared to everlasting life.
MOST Dubs will chose to "help" you regain your chances for everlasting life by implementing the Borg's loving provision of an inquisition a Judicial Committee, who will examine the scriptures to see if it's OK for them to stone you to death.
Expose! EXPOSE! EXPOSE the "king" and his "kingdom"!
- Nathan Natas, UADNA
(Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America)
lv4fer-
It probably won't work.
So far, I've talked to my wife, an elder, a former Ministerial Servant, a male Publisher, an inactive sister, another former Ministerial Servant, and a so-called weak male Publisher.
The result?
All (EXCEPT the inactive sister) had the same indoctrinated response: 'Where else is there to go? No one else preaches the Good News'.
Even the so-called weak and "less spiritual" ones have the same JW-taught reaction.
If not getting DF'd is something you'd like to maintain -- I'd be extremely careful. To criticize or question the society is something most witnesses feel they have to report, or at least share with elders when out in service. And most of us know where that can lead -- can you say "elder inquisition"? I'd say be true to yourself, be authentic, and let the chips fall where they may.
I had many dear friends after a lifetime of being witness -- but when I left, I realized just how DYSFUNCTIONAL many of these families were. So, I made new caring friends with whom I could be honest and trusting.
You quote Rita Mae Brown, are you "in the life"?
Love,
Pete
You can try and talk to your friend but be very careful. A good Jdub is so indoctrinated that if they feel any hint of you questioning there beliefs system, the red light will go on and they will back off. They will brand you as an apostate and turn you into the elders. I feel that the reason why cult type of behavior is so defensive is because they’re whole beliefs system is based on one of faith. The cult members own confidence is shaky to begin with but they have been indoctrinated so much to believe this is the "truth". Why would big brother lie to us? Look what they have done for us? It must be the truth so you are a liar!!!
For one in a cult to decide to leave means to give up everything in their life. To find out that all these years what they have been saying and believing is all a bunch of lies. The best way like someone on this post mentioned, is to raise questions that gets them to start to question themselves. Allow them to come to their own conclusions but be prepared that they may still defend the belief over rational thinking.
Will
"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."
Mark Twain
These people would totally ignore their own family if they were disfellowshipped. They would also turn in their own mother if they thought she was doing something wrong. Face it, they're cult members. You may care about them but caring doesn't equal results. I say that now, I said it back when I was a JW and was trying to explain why the janitor elder who cared greatly probably wasn't the best person to be talking to when it came to family problems when a professional counselor was just as available.
Stop worrying about your friends and just take care of yourself. Find the thread about letting friends and family go. It'll do you good.
