Let's lighten things up a little

by JeffJ 15 Replies latest social humour

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  JeffJ

  Since many of us in the US are watching the clock before a holiday I thought I would resurrect a topic that has been dealt with in the forums in the past but not for a couple years. Pranks.

  I spend a large amount of time thinking up pranks for revenge or just for the heck of it to amuse myself. I will post the ones I remember to hopefully make everyone's day brighter.

  First off, one of the concrete bases anchoring a fence in my back yard started crumbling and the fence post started to lean. Last night I dug out the old concrete and will pour a new one tonight. The fence is already 30 years old and will not last another thirty before it needs to be completely replaced so I am thinking of leaving something for the future homeowners. I will either grab a bone from the local butcher shop and imbed it in the concrete about a foot down, or grab a small wooden box and inscribe "do not open, evil inside!" on the cover. I look forward to being hunted down when I am in my 70's by someone asking what the hell I was thinking.

  Anybody have any good pranks? Help me get through my last 2 hours before a long weekend.

  Jeff
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  JeffJ

  I will add the one I am most proud of.

  About ten years ago a coworker who sat in the cubicle adjacent to mine broke my wrist by tripping me in the hallway. I didn't want him to get in trouble so we kept the cause of the break quiet but I told him I would get him back when he was least expecting it.

  I waited a couple weeks to make my move. I had had a vending machine hamburger that was still in it's cellophane package in my desk drawer for about six months. After the first month it started getting moldy and the packaging started expanding so I brought in a large ziploc bag to keep it in just in case the cellophane would ever rip.

  One day when my coworker went out for a smoke break I cleared off an area of his desk, washed it down with windex so it was nice and clean and retrieved my hamburger. By now it was a lump of black mush with a black viscous fluid pooled around it. The cellophane package had balloned up with the gasses until it it had the size and shape of a softball. I took it out of the ziploc bag and superglued the cellophane to his desktop.

  Ten minutes later he had come back from his break and he knew something wasn't right. I didn't just place the hamburger there because I wouldn't have cleaned off the desk just to do that. He gently poked at the hamburger and realised it was stuck tight. He needed to find a way to get the entire thing off intact so as not to spill the contents... He didn't succeed. He spent a full minute dry heaving over his garbage can from the smell when he accidentally broke the bag.

  Being the kind-hearted person I was, I let him use the ziploc bag to seal up the remains and take them to the dumpster outside.

  I don't know if it was just coincidence but he never broke one of my bones again.

  Jeff
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  HBH

  Jeff, those are pretty harsh, but I like it.

  I once worked in a store with about 12 people. The break room had a kitchen sink with a hand sprayer. One day I tied a rubber band around it, and when you turn on the water, BAM, you get blasted in the stomach. It went on for about a week with everyone "getting" everyone, including me and the owner. (It's very easy to forget to check for the rubber band). After that, the owner disconnected it and threw it away.

  HBH
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  Glander

  In the office there were 3 ladies who complained about finding mouse droppings on their desks one morning. A full blown cleaning and pest control operation ensued. They all kept snacks in their desks.

  I was in the design department and noticed how much the crumbs from gum erasers looked like mouseturds.

  I visited the office area one late afternoon when the office people had gone.

  I got in early the next day and watched the fun.
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  LisaRose

  Tales from the cube farm. Our manager was given a round orange flavored chocolate, shaped like an orange,to give to us for Xmas, but for some reason she wouldn't give it up, months went by, but no. So we opened the box, ate the chocolate and replaced it with a same size rubber ball, wrapped it in the foil and carefully glued the box (I swear I heard the music from mission impossible as we did it) So more months go by and we give up waiting for her to open it and and we suggest that the chocolate might have gone bad. She finally opens it and is totally freaked out that the "chocolate" is strangely spongey and is white in color, she was completely grossed out until we confessed.

  Another funny one is that one person in the group ate a breakfast burrito every morning and a very annoying member of the team was always complaining abut the smell of the hot sauce, and she had a very loud, whiney voice. He got so sick of it he put hot sauce in little containers and hid it all over her cubicle. It took her week's to figure it out, and she was talking about it the whole time. He even refreshed them every once in a while.

  I worked for a tech company that at one time had a bright future, but due to mismanagement, stock fraud and a changing market, was circling the drain. In desperation, ridiculous cost cutting measures were implemented. There was a notice in the elevator one day that they were getting rid of the coffee service, and would we please scrounge around and dig up unused sleeves of coffee cups, creamer packs and so forth, they would get credit for that. This was a multi million dollar company and it seemed absurd that anyone would think this would help. So I dug dug up a dirty packet of Sweet N Low from my desk and taped it to the notice, with a note that said "found this in my desk, hope it helps".
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  LoisLane looking for Superman

  lol

  Happy Holidays

  Just Lois
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  jgnat

  Mine are so tame in comparison.

  When there was a job shuffle amongst us managers, a peer took over my training duties. She made it clear that my assistance was no longer required. There was one more course that I had organized, and I prepared the venue, announcement, yadda yadda. Just before I sent out the announcement to a thousand users, I asked her, sweetly, if she wanted my name on the announcement or hers? You know the answer. I pushed "send", making sure there was no evidence that I was the sender, and that her name and phone number was prominent. My only prank is that I failed to warn her what would come next. She was grumbling for months about the stupidity of her thousand users. Couldn't read a siimple announcement properly. Heh. Heh. Heh.

  Not my fault, I helped my daughter turn on and test an ancient underground water sprinkler system. The pipes were large-bore, and the six inch sprinklers needed to be inserted in to the brass valves manually. I have a great memory of a geyser of water nearly lifting my poor daughter off my feet, as she tried to lock the sprinkler. Woo-hahhahahahaha. Sorry dear, it's not really that funny....hehehehehe.
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  jgnat

  You reminded me of another sly office prank. It's my style all the way. The office sink was out of control and was full of filthy dishes. I was alone in the office and I washed it all up and put it away. It turns out I had timed my charity perfectly, as the Office Manager had chosen that morning to round up the administrative staff to embarrass them in to better behavior. You know the message, "Your mother doesn't work here; clean up your own mess." This particular biddy was always sweet as pie to the bosses and a holy terror to those beneath her.

  After her morning roundup and announcement fell flat, she tracked me down and asked if I had cleaned the dishes? "Yes, it was a mess, I couldn't stand it any more." I admitted. She stalked off muttering.
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  zeb

  An orderly at the local hospital was leaving after many years service. That is many years of all a hospital and nurses and patients could throw at him. He followed the local tradition of bringing in a cake for all to cut up and enjoy... a chocolate cake...... with thick real chocolate icing.. Laxette icing. There were quite a few staff phoned off work the next day for some reason.

  ....
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  finally awake

  little debbie brand brownies can be rolled between you hands and shapwd into remarkably realistic turds. my mom used to put them on her bosses desk.