Don't You Have Faith??????

by TOTH 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • TOTH
    TOTH

    Awhile back I posted about my wife's father passing away. Despite her not attending meetings or even the memorial in quite some time, she and her father were always very close. He understood her condition and did not fault her for not attending or not being active. His passing hit her with a great deal of pain and loss and it shows in her every action. She cried a lot right after he died and even now after a few months is still quite close to that threshhold of pain and will cry now and again.

    This afternoon we again discussed the shabby way his memorial service was handled. Of course it was a textbook example of a jw memorial service and that is exactly her point. Precious little was said about the man and it more resembled an infomercial for the wt. Most of her family are very much involved with the organization and quite zealous. They claim to be Christian but the fact of the matter is that as immersed in their so-called truth as they are, the basics of Christian faith and human decency has not penetrated to any depth of their souls.

    Case in point...

    At the memorial service for her dad my wife was visibly shaken. She was very upset and sad and she cried openly. A few people seemed to be put off by her unseemly display. (sigh) Our Agnostic son and I comforted her as did her brother but most people seemed to make an effort to ignore her. Her sister in law had earlier come up to me to shake my hand and offer condolences and behaved like an automaton. I am not even kidding a tiny bit. I never saw a more robotic and unfeeling gesture in all my 51 years on this big blue ball.

    When my wife went to look at the photo of her dad in the back of the hall she cried again. Her brother held her and his wife went to her very robitically and asked her, "Don't you believe in the resurrection? Don't you have faith in Jehovah? Why are you making a scene here?" (Churlish crone) My wife looked at her and said, "Is my father being resurrected TODAY? TOMORROW? Get away from me you blankety blank blank blank..." Then came over to me as I wheeled myself over to her.

    Between that idiot's way of trying to encourage her and her step mom's fake efforts to offer her support, (Asked permission to count time and study with my wife), my wife is actually becoming more vocal about the things she sees that are and have always been wrong with the wt. In a way her dad's passing has been very freeing to her. But at the same time, I see her falling into a depression because of her dad being gone and what she held close to her as faith is now coming apart at the seams. I am doing my best to keep her going and encourage her to be more positive and optimistic. Does anyone have any ideas on some activities a nearly bedridden gal can take up to help her to overcome her sadness?

    Thanks for listening....

    TOTH-Tired of the Hypocrisy

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    If she is inclined, finding and following the 30-odd markers, of the detailed treasure map hidden in plain sight in scripture, and known as the "unabridged gospel" or "full good news", can be very liberating, healing and exciting.


    (Why does the "true religion" secretly blind its followers to the "Good News" according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah and Psalms?)

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    TOTH -

    Precious little was said about the man and it more resembled an infomercial for the wt.

    This is a spot on observation.

    I'm sorry for the dismay this hateful, selfish, corrupt corporation has caused.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Such a lack empathy. I hope you wife fully awakens soon and share a real life, free from the cult.

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    Your poor wife. The way she's been treated will deepen her depression because she's going to feel like her grief is not legitimate, so she will feel guilty for grieving, and that leads to depression. I recommend you take her to the doctor and get a referral to a good psychologist or counselor to help her understand her mind at this time and give her the ability to permit herself to grieve in her own way. Everyone grieves differently and she needs to know she's well supported.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    TOTH-Tired of the Hypocrisy

    Love that acronym.

    I'm glad your wife has you there to support here.

    The loss of a parent is always tramatic.

    Doc

  • Sammy Jenkis
    Sammy Jenkis

    TOTH, thank you for sharing- I found this part quite disturbing: "Don't you believe in the resurrection? Don't you have faith in Jehovah? Why are you making a scene here?"

    I am sorry that was the best the JW's could offer, a horrible excuse for not feeling sad and experiencing grief. When my mother's sister passed a few months ago some sisters came to her home to "comfort" her. I still remember their first words upon entering, "Don't cry just remember the resurrection." That piece of bologna nearly made me go AWOL right there, how insensitive to just throw that on people as a reason not to feel such a raw emotion. Even Jesus cried when Lazarus died and he had the power to resurrect.

    My condolences to your family.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    "Even Jesus cried when Lazarus died and he had the power to resurrect."

    Also, Acts 9:36-42, do they think that all the widows were weeping for joy over the death of Dorcas?

    "Her brother held her and his wife went to her very robitically and asked her, "Don't you believe in the resurrection? Don't you have faith in Jehovah? Why are you making a scene here?""

    Pfft, Doesn't she believe in the resurrection? Why doesn't she run into traffic right now so that she could be in the panda-petting paradise in what would seem to her as only seconds? I suspect that no tears would be shed at her funeral.

    "I see her falling into a depression because of her dad being gone and what she held close to her as faith is now coming apart at the seams."

    Professional counselling? Maybe a visit with a real Christian?

  • TotallyADD
    TotallyADD

    Sorry to hear this TOTH. My wife and I went through the same thing when her parents died (but they was not in the cult). No one hardly said anything to her. It was like she was suppose to be made of stone with no feelings. Then with my father and our very close friend we took care of in our home for 15 years. Again we got more encouragement from so called worldly people that the witnesses. I agree with julia orwell take her to a doctor (not for drugs) but maybe there would be someone she could talk to. Like your wife been there done that and it's a awful feeling. Take care and hoping your wife will feel better soon. Totally ADD

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    My condolences to her, for her loss. I understand what she is going through.

    For a loss, having something to do, especially together w other people who are sympathetic and understand helps. Just being around sympathetic, understanding people helps. Time helps the most. Booze helps.

    Being in nature helps. Cute, furry animals to pet and watch play helps. Swimming, being in water helps. Gardens, trees, stuff like that.

    S

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit