laika thank you for your beautiful words, i will never shun my son he is such a caring boy hes only 20 , but i feel torn ,i dont approve of his lifestyle ,i guess its hard going to meetings serving Jah and not having him by my side.
exJW Psychology 104--One Way to Play the Depression Card
by Billy the Ex-Bethelite 32 Replies latest jw friends
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Rebecca 619
Laika, thank you for your beautiful words i love my son sooo much he is a good boy, i will never shun him i am just confused becuz dont know i guess since he was raised serving Jah but i really cant force him , i know he loves Jehovah but hes torn i dont want him to be anguished by feeling preasure from us
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Stealth
The WT ogranization has FAILED to deliver on its promissed dreams. This can lead to psycological depression without even knowing the root cause.
JWs, take contol of your life and start making your own dreams. This will lead to a happer life.
I personally had similar experience to Billy and after 15 year fade have never been happer in my life.
An elder recently stopped by before the memorial to invite and see if I had any interest in coming back to the org... I thanked him for the invite and told him if I decided to come he would see me there. To myself I thought, why in the world would I ever want to go back to that depressing lifestyle.
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Rebecca 619
laika thank you for your beautiful words.
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
sd-7: "The only good thing that came out of TTATT was that I now know a little more than I did before."
And you've started some of the funniest threads on this forum! I'm sorry that you're stuck (for lack of a better word) in the situation you're in. And I certainly wouldn't want this thread to cause you to feel depressed about your circumstances. Learning TTATT has made you incredibly smarter and a better person. Although I can't actually prove those words to be literally true, I reserve the right of poetic license in my threads. Your comments reminded me of another point I'd like to include in this thread... maybe tomorrow.
eyeuse2:"as dubs we are told that; "we are the happiest people on earth". y is it that i don't know many dubs that fit that description?"
First, WELCOME to JWN!
Second, "happiest people on earth" is just advertising spin by WT. And since it is often pointed out to them that so many JWs aren't really happy, they pull out the slogan, "'worldly' people often seem happy, but only JWs are truly joyful!" It's all a lot of word play to hide the reality of unhappiness and anti-depressant usage by JWs. I wish you success in your fade!
Rebecca: "he was dfd because hes gay i was soo devasted he is very depressed i dont want to put preasure on him to come back and cause him to have more anguish i love my son with all my heart so confused"
First, WELCOME to you, too!
Second, don't put pressure on your son to go back. Clearly, the condemnation and hatred that he's experienced at the Hall hasn't "cured" his homosexuality. It's not something that needs to be "cured", judged, or condemned.
We need to remember that when Jesus was asked which commandment was the greatest, he did NOT say, "we need to be really judgmental and punish people into conformity." Neither did he say, "the most important thing is to force people to live by a long list of do's and don't's." Nor did he say, "we need to shame people if they don't fit into a particular mold, we need to be breaking up families by decisions made in secret meetings in windowless rooms." Rather, Jesus said to love God and love your neighbor. Those are simple words, but that's not something JWs are prepared to do. They take that simple command "love" and have to complicate it with a bunch of rather hateful rules. When you carefully look at what WT teaches and practices, they aren't concerned with loving God, they're more concerned about speaking for him... and putting judgmental and hateful words in God's mouth. JWs claim that their preaching shows love for their neighbors, but don't be deceived. JWs pray for the day that rocks will fall from the sky and kill all their neighbors, hardly something that qualifies as loving their neighbor.
It's very good that you love your son just the way God made him. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. He is a special gift that was given to you. Now he needs help so that he can get over his depression and lead a happy and productive life. If he can get professional counselling, that would be great. If he would be interested in joining this forum, he could meet others here that have suffered from depression and/or been disfellowshipped. Perhaps then he wouldn't feel such pain.
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Iown Mylife
YES we are supposed to tend to our own faults and accept other people as they are. Not try to control them. SELF-control is the best government. When we accept others they are free to become who they really are.
Also the fact is, people own their lives, nobody else does. People have a right to do as they please with their own lives! without having to worry endlessly about other people's opinions, or whether they will lose everyone's approval.
Which makes people hide their true selves. People are very lovable and precious, we need to allow them AND ourselves to be who we really are!
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Phizzy
" People are very lovable and precious, we need to allow them AND ourselves to be who we really are! "
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Rebecca 619
Billy: thank you for that your right the most important quality is love, and that is what i will focus on show !ove, my son would not choose to live this if he had a choice, i will get therapy for him ,thanks
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ohnightdivine
I've become a depressed person since learning "the truth."
Now, after learning TTATT, I became severely depressed for almost a month. Not doing anything, not taking good care of my house, myself, I was literally stuck feeling all alone and empty. And I gained a lot of weight.
Now, I'm learning to go through the motions although listening to every meeting and assembly talk makes me want to puke and hope that lightning hits the building.
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Band on the Run
I vividly recall a transition. The universe wired me with a certain type of brain. I was born antiauthority. It is not only the Witnesses, I would make a bad Roman Catholic, too. Growing up I felt a constant strain between my inner life and trying so hard to be a good Jehovah's Witness so my family would love me. I was a people pleaser. I was American and proud ot it, altho I acknolwedged that the US was not perfect.
As I grew older (perhaps my life unfolded the way it did b/c of my age. I left during my teen years), I just counted the days until I was eighteen. My plan was to get into college and never come back home. When I started college, however, I found myself crippled my anxiety. I wanted a worldly life with all my heart. Being raised in the Witnesses, though, I had awkward social skills. I attended my first college party. Now my good life will start. I did not know what to say. They all appeared so sophisticated. No one ever taught me to make chit chat. I was so nervous about dancing rock and roll properly that i could barely move. Returning to my dorm room, I cried for hours.
It took about three years to feel comfortable. In the end, I paid money to a professional dancer to show me how to dance. I used to beg my mom to show me waltzes. She did not know. Perhaps I just needed booster shots of self-confidence. It was childish to expect that college would be an easy social atmosphere b/c it is an awkward time of life.
I wish there were former Witnessess I could have telephoned to ask for practical advice. Recently, I told some teenage kids in a grocery store in rural PA to risk New York or Paris. I said my life was so much richer. They could always run back home if it did not work out. Their smiles were vindication. Suddenly, I remembered that I just did not step one foot in NY and voila! I called them back and told them I made many forays and would go running back home. Since they lived within a reasonable commute, they could do it in steps. Sometimes it would be too much so I retreated and healed. Soon I was back out, testing the waters. Leaving the Witnesses was like that for me. I believe faders are wise.
Of course, now there are resources to find others who have left. We need a halfway house. I notice that certain members here mentor others.