Well when I left the JW's I went on a tear... I slept with all the women I could... I started to celebrate all the pagan holidays... I listened to Rob Zombie and all the harsher stuff. The song "Loosing My Religion" really applied to what was happening to me.
Well It was all part of the healing process I went through I guess. Having realized that my parents and my religion screwed up my childhood pretty damn good. I also realized how almost impossible it was to try to warn others about the abuse and lies of that organization. Its like a dream where you are being terrified by some "being" and your parents wont believe you, you know that hopeless feeling? What I went through was really PTWBTSSD or Post Tramatic Watchtower BIble & Tract Society Stress Disorder... whew that is a mouthful...
I realized after having done all this filth that I was no better than the cult led brain dead brainscrewers that run the organization all the way down to those who run the local cult facilities, some of who deep down are greatly confused but feel as though there is no other choice for them.
I felt like I let myself down because I knew that pagan holidays were just that... Baal based programing by religiondom just as much as the JW based programming also is, I was getting sucked into those things that I knew in my heart were wrong. I knew that immorality was also not a healthy or wordful road to go down... I was searching for love in all the wrong places. I never felt the love of the Hovah (strongs defines as Ruin and Mischief) and I never felt the love of my own parents yet I knew there was love for me out there if I could only find it without a church or religion.
Eventually I started over. I started with the basics, The Name... Yod Heh Waw Heh or YHWH. I find it ironic that Jehovah's Witnesses sing the song PRAISE JAH (YAH) WITH ME and even other religions say HalleluYAH and have been calling on the Name of YAH, and yet insist upon (Je)HOVAH or (Je)SUS which are the furthest things from the real Name in which we must be saved. It takes only a little study to find out where all the twisted teachings of the Christians, Jews and Muslims orginate and how similar they all are.
These days Im growing my hair a little longer, growing a beard, I allow myself to study all the things that would give a GB member a heart attack. I also have come to terms with the fact that just because the JW's got some things right does not mean the world should become a JW member in order to be "Saved". I have come to terms with the fact that all religions, christian, satanic or otherwise are cults and even though this is not a popular statement to make I know from Scriptures that the temple of YaH is within me and I within Him, that He no longer resides in temples of man. I also have a greater respect now for my Savior. I have also come to terms with the fact that all bibles have been twisted greatly by man and this is in every single bible I have ever seen. I have learned that you can find the twistings and set them right within your own vessel. I found that there are twelve fruits and not nine and that this is also proven in Scripture. I have learned that the Covenant has not been done away with but is required for Eternal Salvation just as our Master said it was in Mat.19, even though all bibles removed Half the Covenant from the lips of our Master we know that it is all the Covenant Ten that we must keep just as He would have declared them for something as important as Eternal Salvation when He was asked...
I have learned that you cannot make someone go down the same journey I am on because it has to come naturally, not because you go to there door or attend some church or kingdom hall meeting three times a week but because it is truly in your hearts yearning and desires to serve Him truly.
I have found that my Savior really does love me and that my Father approved Him fully for me to follow, not as a lord (baal) but as my Loving King. He was never demoted to a lord by anyone... cept maybe the religions that control the masses.
Thanks for reading...
---.PraiseYaHuWaH.---