Hi CC. I just want to add that I am happy to see you back.
You haven't posted for a while.
I was worried.
Everything okay?
Just Lois
Detective Walter M. Friday
by compound complex 30 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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compound complex
Greetings, dear Lois!
Thank you for your concern. I've just been dealing with the necessary facts of life, all the more so since I have recently discovered I am actually growing older in this system of things! I've become a realist in short order!
All the best to you and yours.
CoCo
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talesin
Your writing is a delicious foray into the past ............... I remember one story in particular, of a little boy who was walking up to a house that held many memories..............
Trimming the fat ,, for me,, was just a way of saying that wow, the details, the lush expressions, may be a bit overwhelming at times - to the story ... I echoed Glander's sentiment from an editor's point of view ...... and I have edited quite a bit of work. Is it wrong to LOVE LOVE LOVE your work, but yet offer a tidbit of critique that says if you tone it down 'just a tad' ... it may appeal a bit more? Please,,,, take it on the chin. Perhaps I find the style more reminiscent of a time gone by; that doesn't mean I don't love it! If you look for a broader appeal, though, and to be published,,, it could be a bit 'leaner',,, that's all.
xoxo and sorry if that hurt! I know that any critique of *my* art is like a wound deep to the heart .. especially when folks don't 'get' my abstract sculptures.
I love your writing. You write the most beautiful prose. Yes, it's more 19th century, and maybe that's what I'm seeing.
xo
tal
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talesin
((((CoCo))))
I remember one of my teachers,,, when doing watercolor... said ,,, STOP! Know when to stop ... imperfection is part of the work ... learn to know when to stop .. that's all.
okay, I'm most likely over-explaining .......... but please, never take a bit of critique, to mean your work is not great.
You are the BESTEST!
t
EDIT: And I could be DEAD WRONG! also don't forget that! As long as it makes you *think*, it's all good!
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compound complex
Your points are well made and appreciated, Tal! As earlier mentioned, I edit for other authors and need, often, to heed my own advice. My comments above were merely an explanation of my reasons for writing in a particular style. Many of my older, Faulkneresque meanderings I have pared down to the manner and style of Hemmingway. All writing benefits from multiple rewrites. What you have seen and liked of my work over the years -- THANK YOU! -- has always been written in one take, all editing done within the 30-minute time frame. Occasionally, I would rework a piece and resubmit it. For the most part, though, writing such as Det. Friday (first written a few years ago) comes out of the head and heart spontaneously. Please, always comment on and critique my work! Do not apologize! Love, CoCo See -- I cannot fix the formatting! All scrunched together!
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rip van winkle
Regarding the so-called fat of this tongue-in-cheek tale, the non sequiturs, the lapses into ludicrous, verbose incongruity, the juxtaposing of insanity against stark reality are all simply a part of the mix. It's meant to be nonsense.
I cannot critique your story CoCo. I really enjoy your storytelling and the little adventures your words lead me to.
This story is delightfully charming and inane. Every little element speaks to the absurdity and silliness of some of those old detective tales and of a bygone era.
And so far, I have enjoyed all the rides of this amusement park!
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compound complex
Thank you, rip!
Stories speak to us on different levels, in different ways. I'm glad you've enjoyed the ride!
Best.
CoCo
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compound complex
It's a nasty night; the weather is dirty. If I was smart I'd stay indoors and let the world take care of its own worries. Who says I'm smart?
Pulling myself up and out of the old lounger I piled into earlier, I'm remembering the promise I made earlier. I can't shake it. It niggles me like a corkscrew, winding itself in and then coming out, causing pain and screams. She had to be so unforgettable, so downright needy.
I was taken in by her that night she was leaving the corner market and her grocery bag tore open. Everything inside spilled out and plunked onto the sidewalk. Folks going either way minded their own important business and scurried on . . . to the bar or to wailing kids at home or to who know where. Glancing at the poor woman -- dressed plain and sort of average looking -- I walked over from the lamppost I was holding up and offered a brief word and helping hand.
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compound complex
"Can I help? I offered.
"What a mess!" she wailed. "Something soaked through the bag and the bottom fell out. Oh, look! I shouldn't have put all my eggs in one basket. My goodness!"
Not one to cry over spilled milk, I took the gooey carton from her hand and tossed the scrambled eggs into a nearby trash can. I bolted over to the newsstand, dropped four bits down the coin slot and opened the glass door, pulling out the last copy of The Evening Post Gazette. Rising from her knees and straightening up, the young woman watched quietly as I clumped her remaining groceries onto the center of the spread-out newspaper. I drew up the north, south, east and west corners of the rag and folded them over the contents.
"My, you're a knight in shining armor," she sighed.
"Well, thanks," I laughed, "but I'm afraid my armor's a bit rusty."
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BizzyBee
Good stuff, Coco. Very Guy Noirish. Parody calls for the scenery chewing - you're good at it. You should enter the Lord Bulwer Lytton contest
......where over-wrought prose is celebrated.
...........her eyes went through me like a couple of bullets through a pat of butter.
~Wodehouse
