You know I feel a little sorry for him. He's doing the best he can trapped in a cult mentality.
My condolences to you.
FB message from a "true" friend
by losingit 27 Replies latest jw friends
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whathappened
When I was in my best friend got df'd. We went out to dinner and a movie together right before the announcement and she told me. I didn't see her or talk to her until she got reinstated. That was what I thought was the right thing to do for her "eternal salvation.' I supported the shunning while I was in and felt it was an act of unselfish love.
The part about this facebook conversation that I find so offensive is that the name of Jehovah and Satan is not spelled out. This is so trashing and immature. This is supposed to make you think. It is demeaning and degrading.
I am sorry the elders got their hooks into you. Hope we can help in some small way, friend.
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bildad
Awake! 6/8/2003 made this comment: "AMONG the greatest gifts parents can give to their children are unconditional love and a set of values that the parents live by and do not just lecture about."
A reader responded to this in the 2/8/04 issue: Values I was surprised by the statement in the opening paragraph of the second article of the series “What Has Happened to Values?” (June 8, 2003) It stated: “Among the greatest gifts parents can give to their children are unconditional love and a set of values that the parents live by.” When children and adults act as if they are entitled to one another’s love, values will always decline. K. B., United States “Awake!” responds: The phrase “unconditional love” was used to suggest that parents should not imply that their love for their children is fragile or tenuous—that it might be withdrawn at any moment because of some failing on the child’s part or that the child is obliged to earn parental love by doing everything just right.—Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21. ....soooooooo, when a parent refuses to even speak with their own DF child they are still showing unconditional love? -
poppers
True friend, indeed. What a skewed concept of friendship.
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UnConfused
Nice post Bildad
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BLWashington
Dang, I'm sorry your friend turned out not to be a true friend. Have you lost many friends since being DF'd? When the DFing is new... I've seen folks really go thru it...especially when their holier than thou friends issue you the "you're going to hell in a handbasket" notice... Hang in there...if you go back- do it for the right reasons.
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wallsofjericho
i am sorry your going through this.
the cryptic language is so typical of JW's in this scenario. Using Jehovah and Satan sounds condeming, judgemental and just plain whacky. they don't answer because they don't like to articulate why they can't talk to you lest they sound like a brainwashed culty. They just dance around the uncomfortable and use cheeky pro-nouns that make them feel less brainswashed.
.... after all... you know what they mean! :P
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losingit
Bildad-- excellent post! I just told my brother, who is not a JW that I was df'd. Of course, he had no clue what that meant. As I went into detail, he was basically shocked. Amongst JWs there is *onl* cobditional love, just as that Question from the Reader expressed. :-(
Wallsofjericho- - exactly! I just thoight it was so odd that he didn't use Jehovah or Satan's name. I couldn't figure out what was going on. But just as you said, it's to steer away from confronting what's forcng him to drop his "dear" friends-- the WTBTS CULT!
BL Washington- - To behonest, my only friends were all my soon to be ex's friends first. In otger words, I've lost all of them. Haha! I only truly cared about 5 of them. Those were the ones I visited to tell them personally that I was getting DF'd. Truly tragic conversations with everyone sobbing. What makes ut worse is hat all the texts I received from them up until the night it was announced were all deleted from my phone bc it went haywire.:-( I miss *those* friends. Everyone else... well, it's sad, but not at the same level. This brother, for example, I felt sad mostly bc it remnded me of the "dear" friendships I lost.
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losingit
Whathappened-- I never had any dear friends df'd while in. Just saw ppl from a distance in the congregation, those I just used to say 'hi' and 'bye' to from the beginning. When they were df'd smetimes I smiled at them at the meeting. I never ran into anyone out n public. But you're right, when you're in that cult mindset you just follow blindly. It makes me sad.
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losingit
Whathappened-- I hear you about not including Jehovah or Satan's name. I mean, for Christ's sake-- isn't this what you profess to believe? !??? Then spell it out and shout it out from the rooftops! Oh, excuse me, he must be *embarrassed* of his actions and is hiding from them. Sad.