by Nosferatu 32 Replies latest jw friends
So we know all the things the WTS prevents us from doing, but that's much, much different than the stuff we've grown accustomed to.
For those who have been out for a number of years, what kind of things would end up being abandoned if you suddenly started going back to the Kingdom Hall? You know, stuff that you now do on the nights you used to attend meetings, the things you own, the things you wear, etc.
My sanity. I use to stress while getting ready for meetings. Especiaaly when bookstudy was in our home.
NOSFERATU:
How about my freedom, sanity and self-respect? Don't forget time and lost sleep, holidays - especially Christmas.
Since I am a conservative person who didn't go off the deep end, there isn't a closet of immodest clothing I have to dispose of.
Since I know too much to go back and pretend, this hypothetical scenario will never happen.
I kinda wonder what it would be like if I went back and just had an F U attitude about everything. Like "F U, I'll go to whatever meetings I want." "F U, I'll do whatever I want outside of the kingdom hall." "F U, I'm not going out in field service ever." Just show up to meetings wearing whatever I want. Doing whatever I want. It would give me a chuckle for sure.
That unique feeling of ecstacy while massaging my prostate with an ultrasonic toothbrush would be sorely missed.
Rub a Dub
(oppss, wait a minute ... I'm still in ... guess I better delete this)
I will go with self-respect. Also, all the personal gains I made in counseling would be cancelled. Plus, I would be literally sick listening to the garbage at the meetings and could never do more than say at the door, "We are leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses magazines with anyone who would not be totally revulsed by us visiting them semi-regularly to discuss this kind of stuff. Would you like your copy?"
I would have to give up my volunteer activities, which I enjoy. I would have to give up relaxed dinners on the patio on warm nights. I would have to give up going for a walk after dinner on meeting nights. I would have to give up all my friends. I would have to give up Christmas, I like decorating, wrapping gifts and baking Christmas Cookies. I would have to give up being Mr. And Mrs. Claus with my husband. I would have to give up dressing up for Halloween and handing out candy to the kids, and enjoying their cute costumes and smiling faces. I couldn't send my kids and grandkids gifts in their birthdays. I would give up the freedom to watch any movie that strikes my fancy, no matter what it was rated. I would have to give up not feeling guilty because I don't want to sell Watchtower and Awakes and tell people they will be destroyed at Armageddon.
I would have to give up intellectual freedom and being able to say what I think, and research what interests me. I would have to give up voting and researching the issues so that I can be an informed voter. I would have to give up going to a church service that is spiritually uplifting and enjoyable. I would have to give up talking to some family members. I would have to give up the choice to accept a blood transfusion if my life was at stake. I would have to give up being treated as an equal and accept that I was a second class citizen at the KH. I would have to give up reading the paper with a cup of coffee in bed on Saturday morning.
In other words, I would have to give up most of what I find enjoyable and meaningful in my life. That will happen when people in hell start wearing ice skates.
Lisa Rose
My sense of wonder and my critical thinking skills.
I doubt I could list it all. My beard, most of what's in my computer's hard drive, my sense of self-worth. Probably my sobriety and certainly all of my friends in AA. My granddaughter's school. Any relationship with my now adult children and probably my freedom when they had me committed to an institution. Plans to go to my daughter's lesbian wedding. Any chance of getting a book published. My music collection, most of my library, the two 1/700 model warships I'm working on. My marriage has survived a lot, I'm not sure it could withstand my going back to the KH.
Upon careful consideration, I do not think I will be going back anytime soon.
i would lose sleep
