Don't worry about your mum or the study conductor feeling guilty- you are not responsible for how they feel. Of course, you care about your mum and how she feels, but it's her responsibility. I really wish I could help you more. Maybe see your school guidance counsellor if you're still at school. Tell your mum your 'relationship with Jehovah is between you and him alone'. I don't know what your mum is like, but if she's like most mums she just wants what's best for you. Sometimes though, parents don't always know what's best for their kid.
Being pressured and getting increasingly stressed.
by NBird 55 Replies latest jw experiences
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Mum
Don't get baptized.
Don't get baptized.
Dont get baptized.
I can't say it enough: Don't get baptized.
Remember that whatever decisions you make now have consequences you will have to live with the rest of your life. Getting baptized is the equivalent of giving a lot of people sticks to beat you with if you choose to live your life your way.
Don't let words like "selfish," or "spiritually weak" make you feel bad. Those are words used to manipulate you, not improve or uplift you.
You are very young, but very wise so far. Take everything slowly. Do what your parents tell you in good conscience and remind yourself, "This, too, shall pass." It will pass, you will have your own income, be able to live on your own, and be responsible for yourself and your feelings, not anyone else's.
Best wishes.
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snare&racket
Dont get dipped dude.... Its a contract , the small print that WT have ensured exists means you can't get out until you die, or at the cost of all your family and friends. You are talking to people that were forced or chose to change their mind on that contract....
dont do it....
the religion is a joke yes, but a dangerous one!
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perfect1
DONT GET BAPTIZED.
If you are 17, your freedom is one sweet short year away.
Get a job, save some money NOW, so you can get out ASAP.
College, even community college is one way to eascape because you can automatically qualify for a grant of 5000 dollars called the Pell Grant for attending full time.
This is how I escaped at your age.
If you are a good liar, you could insinuate that this young man who is studying with you may not be of sound character to your mother. Do it gently, like, he makes me uncomfortable. I dont know why.
Dont worry about wasting his time, he is COUNTING and probably DOUBLING every second he spends with you on a timesheet.
Guess what, in the real world, you will work a job, count time, and GET PAID FOR IT.
Dude you have to make a break for it.
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Comatose
I know its tough to speak up at your age, but I can't emphasize enough the importance of speaking up here very tactfully and firmly. Do not reveal your doubts. But, do stop the study. It is unnecessary. You do not need it. Tell your mom you are stopping, be firm, and then stop the study.
If you keep it up and get baptized you will lose all your family when you leave in a year or two. I liked the advice to get a job. You must go to college and you can't be spending time with assigned goals and be preparing for school and college.
You don't have to say you don't believe, just say you appreciate what effort and concern but you don't need the study.
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westiebilly11
be true to yourself...your doubts and concerns are danger signals to get out and do not do not get baptized....
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sarahsmile
Where do you see yourself in a year? write it down,
Where do you see yourself in two years? write it down.
Where do you see yourself in five years? write it down.
I know one thing for sure that the JW children at your age either get married too soon with baby on the way, or stay living with mother until they are in their forties.
Just stating reality. My neighbor non JW is 26 has a job and has nevered moved out of moms house.
Be selfish make your plans and write them down. Look at them every night.
And date lots of girls.
Wish you the best!
One more thing: Let the conductor know right away that you do NOT want him to come to the house asked him to not talk with your mother that you will talk with her. ! If he wants to know why. Say, it not your concern. He probably did not talk with you much only for a shallow purpose. He does not need to not know any more! Zip it. Later if your mother ask why so and so is not coming to the house. Let her know that you asked him to stop coming to the house. When she asked why, He started to plan my future and there are three examples in the bible where young men had higher education before God called them to do his will. I am not ready to make the types of commitments he expected. Between you and your parents, state that you would like to get a college education. If not college let her know that you are looking for a job and anything else will just be too much for you to handle at this point in your life. I am sure that she will be very understanding and happy one way or the other for you. She just wants you to have a plan.
Hope that helps.
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Hortensia
Make a plan. You need money to be independent -- start earning some and save it.
You need an education. Start making plans to get an education. You might fool your parents for a while if you go to a trade school and learn a skill that will support you while you go to college. Tell them you need to learn a skill to support yourself as a witness. Learn how to do some skill that is needed, so you're likely to always have a job.
Think long-term. What would you like to do with your life? What kind of work interests you? Get some aptitude testing to see what suits you. Talk to your school counselor about your goals.
Stay under the radar as long as possible, don't rock the boat while you build up your savings and your skills so you can be independent. Don't argue with them, just use a lot of passive resistance and evasion.
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Fernando
Three great pieces of advice that stood out:
- Do not get baptised under any circumstances - you WILL regret it for the rest of your life.
- "you could insinuate that this young man who is studying with you may not be of sound character to your mother. Do it gently, like, he makes me uncomfortable. I dont know why." (perfect1)
- 'Memorize this line - "I've made the decision to model my life after Jesus, he got baptized when he was 30 years old. That tells me he recognized the seriousness of the decision and I am looking to him for an example of how to act in all ways of life."' (LostGeneration)
There is no need to say anything more than the above to your parents - you'd just be opening the door to pointless arguments and debates. Rather ask them to explain to you what part of the above they are struggling to understand. Then repeat back slowly to them. Then ask them to have a think about it for a day or two, whereafter you will again check with them what part of the above they are struggling to understand. Just keep repeating.
I would add: studying the "Good News" according to Paul, together as a family, is a one-way ticket out of the Watchtower for all of you. It worked for Ray Franz, Martin Luther (Catholic) and millions more.
(Why do followers of the Watchtower religion call themselves “publishers of the Good News” whilst unfamiliar with the “Good News” according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah and Psalms?)
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St George of England
DO NOT GET BAPTIZED!
Others here have given you some really good advice, take it with both hands. I wish I had been given this advice 50 years ago, I would not be trapped in this stupid cult now.
George