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ConnieLynn

My mother has been sick for a couple of months and undergoing a battery of tests, she is a JW. We live 3000 miles apart. Well she just called and informed me that she had just received some bad news from her doctor this afternoon. She has a growth in her colon and is bleeding internally They want her to immediately have a transfusion and exploratory surgery. Her blood count is shy of 4, whatever that means and she can hardly get up. Her answer to the trasfusion was (surprise) no, and of course surgery is out of the question with her blood count so low. The Dr suspects cancerous tumor. Long story short, my JW sister and her husband are flying in to be with her and they have contacted the local elders etc... trying to find a doctor who will treat her without blood.

I started to tell her what I thought and I was told to keep my opinions to myself and stay at home. Stay home? How do I do that? How am I supposed to act? I am so mad I just want to hit someone or something. Am I supposed to sit at home and wait for bad news? Is it normal to feel like blowing up the next KH I see? Once again this religion is constricting my heart and making it hard for me to breathe, much less cope. I also have the lovely news of calling my other DF'd sister, who is away at college, and telling her. This is my first family type crisis that I have had since I have been DF'd. Have any of you been through this before?

sf

"Once again this religion is constricting my heart and making it hard for me to breathe, much less cope."

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

I felt that with you.

If this were I, nothing and/ or no one COULD keep me away. Short of putting a gun to my head.

Elders schmilders...please do not allow these dickwhackers to dick-tate anything to you. Stand tall and be there for her. For YOU!

Ha, I'd like to see any elder or Watchtower Dick come up against me when it comes to my mother. No matter how much contempt, frustration, anger and emotion I feel for her or the way I think of her now, and the krap she's CONnected to, I'd still be there. Even with that bullet in my head. Try and stop me Ted.

sKally:

If man was supposedly created in gods image, then.....holy krap...we're all doomed.-sKallyWagger

“What a blessing such integrity keepers are to the congregation!”(5/15/02 WT magazine, pg. 27)

dungbeetle

There are two issues in a case like this; one may be the blood issue, but there is also the issue of 'extending death' rather than 'extending life'. I work as a nurse, and my specialty is hospice care. I deal with THAT issue all the time.

Age and general overall health is an important factor. I'm sorry that the JW family is geting invloved so quickly; a person's chance of having really an 'informed choice' of medical care is very poor here.

But physicians are recognizing that a 'choice' between 'no blood' medicine and 'expulsion and shunning' is no choice at all. Many Witnesses are grateful when the courts intervene and order life-saving blood tratment. The Witness gets the treatment and they don't get expelled/shunned. Sometimes its the only way to protect someone from their own religion.

There is no such thing as a 'blood substitue' and any JW who says this is being disengenuous.

Scully and Roo and a few others can tell you that when the blood count gets low enough, a patient's level of comfort is nothing short of atrocious. It is horrible to watch people slowly bleed to death.

There is terrible pain, similar to that experienced during a combination of a heart attack (as the cardiac cells scream out for oxygen) and having just completed a marathon (as lactic acid builds up in all the muscles of the body). The patient gsaps and fights for every painful breath as the levels of carbon dioxide build in their blood.No one who has seen this ever forgets the experience. It is the reason medical staff gets so upset when they have to stand by.

Infusion of blood, if it does noting else, releives the patient's discomfort. The breathe easier and have less pain.

Very sad.

There is always the option of 'going public' with letters or phone calls or faxes.

Dying for 12 angry men in Brooklyn isn't all it's cracked up to be.

ConnieLynn

sf - the borg came between my mother and me in 94' when I was DF'd. She is the one who told me to stay away and that she wanted me to support her wishes. I don't know how to do that. If there was an ounce of hope that my opinion counted for anything, I would kick my JW sister,cousins,aunts and elders all out of there. Unfortunately, it only works out like that in my imagination...

Shimmer

((((ConnieLynn)))))

Shimmer

sf

I understand what you conveyed Connie Lynn. Truly.

I, mySELF, would be there, no matter what. That is Me. I just wouldn't let her know I was there. Now if some goodey-two-shoe jw wants to let the cat outta the bag, then that's on them. If they just keep their at mouths shut, I'll be fly on the wall. If they rattle me by telling her I'm even in town...all hell will break loose.

I know this day will be upon me soon too; "that call". Yea, the one that ALLOWS me to NOW be privy to anything about her. And I'll be there in a New York Governing Body minute.

Connie, I hope and wish you well. Everyone's life experience with this cult is so uniquely dynamic. So it's entirely pssible that I have no clue what I'm talking about when it comes to YOUR mom.

Just remember this though...she is YOUR mom. She can't take that away from YOU. See her or be close to her now because it's about YOU, not her. She's making her choice. And you need to make YOURS.

{{{{Hugs}}}}

Do you uh, yahoo?

Sincerely, sKally

144thousand_and_one

If her hemoglobin level is down to a 4, it's likely to affect her mentally as well as physically. I'd get over there right away, and, outside your mother's presence, make sure those JWs understand that there will be severe consequences for them if they interfere with you in doing what is right for your mother (legal consequences).

Next, I'd ask your mother where in the bible that it says that certain small amounts of blood transfusions are ok, while other larger transfusions are prohibited. The JWs are ok with organ transplants, but not blood transfusions. There is no way to excise all the blood from a transplanted organ; hence, the recipient of an organ transplant is getting a blood transfusion, even if the amount of blood is slight. The JWs are totally inconsistent in their approach to this issue; maybe seeing that will help your mother understand.

You are your mother's best hope for survival. Good luck to you, I wish you and your family the best!

sf

I just read what I wrote and got a sick feeling:

"She can't take that away from YOU."

The painful reality of It is that this is exactly what she is choosing to do.

I'm sorry. It's all so twisted. I try to make sense of It too.

sKally, what's love got to do with anything klass

Dutchie

The positive thing is that your mother called you herself to tell you the news of her health. I would let that phone call spur me on to action and no matter how hard it is to do, I would go and be with my mother. My prayers are with you.

LyinEyes

So sorry to hear about your mother. I would strongly suggest getting over there as soon as possible. I went thru this with my mother , we were both good witnesses and it was a hard ordeal. Without getting into all the details her blood count was down to 2, which is very, very serious. My mother made her choice not to take blood, I was only 17 at the time and I thought we were right about the blood issue. I dont beleive they (JW) are right about the blood now, but if I ever had to face it again, I am not sure what I would do. I would probably tell my mom what I beleive, but the choice is hers. But who knows , maybe she would listen if you tell her what is on your mind. She may be to weak to listen or comprehend at this time. But be there for her,
hold her hand and tell her you love her no matter what and you will support her choice. Really that is all you can do. I pray your mother will be ok. Let us know ok. Hugs.

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