I need to know the titles of any talks at this spring's circuit assembly and possibly any topics discussed.
If anyone has gone or has spoken to anyone, please help. Does anyone have a program?
Your help is much appreciated.
Upcoming Assembly Theme/Topics?
by alamb 14 Replies latest jw friends
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freeman
No doubt the Faithful and Discreet Slave will feed us a banquet of spiritual food just right for the critical times we are living in. I am hoping to hear talks with titles similar to this:
Pedophilia, a blessing for the little ones.
Beatings, a blessing form Jehovah when the little ones are just asking for it.
1914, it’s significance in differential calculus and the establishment of God’s Invisible Kingdom.
Lawsuits against Jehovah’s organization, a fulfillment of end-time prophesies.
Then again, maybe we won’t hear such talks, but I’m sure whatever the talks are about, they will be wonderful, up-building, and a blessing to all :-)
Freeman
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Xenu
freeeman:
Pedophilia is never a blessing -
NameWithheld
It seems that many JWs think it is!
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freeman
Zenu,
You are correct. Pedophilia is never a blessing, it is a sick, disgusting practice that I was highlighting via sarcasm. Unfortunately it is also a reality within the ranks and behind the walls of the Watchtower. I am hoping this dirty little Watchtower secret, enabled and perpetuated by the so-called “faithful slave”, will see the light of day much as it is now seeing the light of day within the Catholic Church. Children are meant to be a blessing and an inheritance; but not playthings for sick demented individuals.Freeman
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dedalus
More topics from the upcoming assembly:
* Elders in the Congregation: Why They're Always Right
* Sisters: Why It's Your Fault Brothers Keep Oogling Your Soft, Undulating Breasts
* Jehovah's Great Pimped-Out Chariot
* David and Jonathan: Gay, Or Just Really Really Friendly?
* Sara Lee: The Great Harlot of Pastry Products
* Brothers: Taking the Lead When You're A Complete Moron
* So How Much Blood Will Run Out in the Streets When the Wicked Are Crushed By God, Anyway?
* We Love You, Now Shut Up!
* Ten Ways a Woman's Breasts Are Like A Gazelle: Stupid Metaphors of the Old Testament Explained
* Then End is Coming Really Really Really Really Really Soon, Swear to God, We Promise, So Obey Us or Else!
* Can We Do More? Why Aren't We Doing More? Jehovah's Gonna Kill Us If We Don't Do More! By "We" We Mean "You," Of Course!Dedalus
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Scully
I'm looking forward to hearing the talks entitled:
"Lot and His Two Daughters: How Incest and Threesomes Benefit Us Today"
"The Story of Elijah - A Hair Transplant Could Have Prevented Tragedy"Love, Scully
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Billygoat
ROTFLMAO @ Ded! You're awesome!
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openminded
Dadelus, Scully, That is some funny stuff! om
Here is a talk Id like to hear-
A symposium:
-Riding the Harlot; Justifying WTS membership with the U.N.
*Library Cards; How to get the most out of them
* NGO's; Jehovah's view
* Making up the rules as we go, because our members are idiots -
NeonMadman
Neat thread, really funny talk topics.
When I was a JW, I used to have an almost uncanny ability to figure out what sort of new releases would be coming out at the upcoming assembly, particularly after I heard what the theme would be. I was rarely wrong. I based my predictions on the theme, plus my sense of what sort of publication was "due," i.e. needed to replace something that was outdated.
So, now that I've "ceased to be involved," let's see if my abilities have waned...
For this summer, I predict a new book on Ezekiel's Prophecy. Why?
1. They are obviously doing a series on major prophets, having already released new commentaries on Daniel and Isaiah.
2. The theme, "Zealous Kingdom Proclaimers," certainly seems to lend itself to the r&f getting hammered with the "man with the writer's inkhorn" stuff about how they'll be held accountable if they don't witness enough.
3. The "Know Jehovah" book needs badly to be replaced and forgotten, since it explicitly stated that the Kingdom Work would be completed in the 20th century.
So, come June, we'll know whether my prophetic abilities are still with me!!
Tom
"At midnight all the agents and the superhuman crew go out and round up everyone who knows more than they do"
--Bob Dylan