ProfCNJ, interesting experience, especially with your posting here while being considered for an elder.
I grew up with my father as an elder, I worked at branches around the world and on a first hand basis worked with a wide range of "elders" in the branches and congregations, some of them professing to be of the annoited. Some where royal jerks and very headstrong on their personal opinions, others were all right.
I still was not prepared for the heated fight I witnessed at my first elders meeting after appointment, between the PO and a group of elders who were frustrated that they were not more prominent. Further, after years of serving as a quality elder, (didn't try to make too many waves, concentrated on what was important scripturally), I was not prepared for the hatchet wielded upon me from elders who I considered my "friends". When you are young you can be naive and think that you can make a difference but in reality you are assimilated into the machine.
Many elders that are appointed have no other area in life that they feel respected. The secular jobs they have are low respect jobs and no one ever listens to them. So when someone asks them about being an elder they are eager; they are eager to find a place where they can wield their authority, get up on a stage in a suit and act authoritative. Many brothers sincerely believe that they are appointed by God to "run" the congregation, and that means "run" peoples personal lives.
I've seen elders put pressure on families and individuals about things that were by a long shot not the congregations business. I was known for raising my hand during elders meeting and asking, "And why is this any of the congregations business"? or "Where do we get the authority from the scriptures to believe we have any business in this personal matter?" There was so much time wasted talking about stuff that was not the elders business.
For example, There was a young couple that were getting married. There was some competition between this engaged couple and the PO's (COBE) family. The PO's daughter and wife were the source of the competition. The young couple were not even getting married in the Kingdom Hall, but the PO privately went around to all elders and servants and asked if they were planning on attending the wedding. If an elder or servant was planning on attending the wedding, then they would receive a 15 minute speech about all the reasons not to attend.
The PO repeatedly went to the Elder that was giving the talk at the wedding, and did everything he could to make this brother not give the talk. His approach was a mix of harassment and hounder. The PO made the comment to me that the couple needed to get a Justice of the Peace to marry them.
I told him to mind his own business, and if he decided not to go that was his business, but for him and his wife to privately go around in the congregation to influence people not to go, was innappriopiate, unloving, and downright hateful. I don't know about you, but this crappy experience I had is not what I thought being an elder meant and it was from this point afterward that I no longer wanted to serve.
Thanks for sharing your experience.