Telling my wife that I would accept a blood transfusion

by Daniel1555 22 Replies latest watchtower medical

• 

  jwfacts

  Welcome.

  Does she allow you to speak about the religion? If so, maybe you could make a brief comment that you found how Watchtower used to:

  • allow vaccinations, then didn't, now do again
  • allow organ transplants, then didn't, now do again
  • allow blood transfusions, then didn't, now have started allowing most components again

  Ask her if she thinks maybe blood transfusions will be allowed in the future too? That could open up a discussion on why Watchtower used to teach that blood was not condemned for Christians. And then just leave it at that. It will cause her to think about there being an alternative viewpoint.

  You could ask if your son was dying, would she let him by refusing blood. That is a riskier line of questioning though, as she will ask you what you think, forcing you into option 1.
• 

  respectful_observer

  If you decide to go with Option #2, and you actually end up in a situation where you decide to accept blood for yourself or your son, you could always use the following line of reasoning (whether you actually feel this way is irrelevent):

  "I love you/son soooo much, that I was willing to risk everlasting life for you. I realized that I wouldn't want to live forever if you weren't with me. And knowing that even if you were resurrected, we'd no longer be married was too much for my heart to bear."

  and you could always tack on:

  "And I couldn't live with myself if you/son died and a month, a year, 50 years later, the WTS suddenly said it was okay, just like they did with organ transplants."

  Then your decision comes off as self-destructive selflessness rather than a rejection of Jehovah's the Governing Body's requirements.

  R_O
• 

  Daniel1555

  Dear friends,

  Thank you very much for all your fast and good advice.

  Most of you say it is best to be quiet about that. Well, it gives me a lot to think about.

  I am actually not a person who likes to pretend something different for what I think. That's why for example I wrote to the elders a letter about some of my doubts (I must say these elders are very loving). A few times they wanted to meet with me to reason about them. It was interesting as I asked why there are so many changes in doctrine, if the Governing Body is spirit directed (especially with a view to the Faithful and Discreet Slave change of understanding). Our presiding overseer told me, that this is something that we all have to chew on and that in our society nothing is fix. I also asked him how he would react, if his bible study said, that if he becomes a witness, all of his family would completely shun him. I showed him the Awake article that says "nobody should be forced to choose between his religion and his family." Moreover I told him, that this shunning is leading to huge depressions and sometimes suicide. Well, the only thing that he could tell me was, "the rules are clear; discipline is always painful."

  With my wife I can no longer discuss things like that (I also don't want to destroy her faith as everyone has freedom of religion and conscience).

  Nevertheless I think that she has to know one time, about my true feelings about blood transfusions. This is a life and death matter, especially if our child is involved.

  But probably I will wait about telling her and to do my best to be a good husband. Probably I will ask her how she would react, if our child is in a life threatening situation.

  In the last elders school, they told us to cooperate with doctors when a minor is involved and not insist on no blood transfusion (just tell them of our blood less wishes). If we would insist on no blood, this could lead to taking away the right to care for the child.

  Thank you again very much. It is very good to see, that a lot of others were going to similar situations.
• 

  blondie

  Just make sure your doctors, clinic, and hospital know what your wishes are and they have documents on hand and keep it confidential from everyone else. Is it possible to designate someone else to honor your wishes as a proxy should you be unconscious....I'm not familiar with Swiss law on this.
• 

  lostinnj83

  I actually have a different opinion than the majority. I say tell her, she already knows you have doubts and while that situation isn't ideal better that she know that in advance. I actually saw the possibility of someone dying last week due to refusal of a blood transfusion because of a complication with child birth. Seeing it hit so close to home really affected me. I realized that while even though I am technically still in you never know what can happen while you are deciding but I know for certain that I would never be able to honor my husbands wishes and that in an emergency situation I would accept a blood transfusion for myself or on behalf of any children we may have.

  I feel like its an important conversation to have but perhaps I am more sensitive to it since I have seen it first hand.
• 

  DATA-DOG

  Definitely option #2. There is no way that she will NOT tell someone. I know from personal experience, and all I did was write a letter stating that the WTBTS was going to be in trouble for what they are doing. I also said that normal JW's don't really have a close relationship with Christ Jesus. I did not even mention a specific doctrine.

  In the event of an emergency just do what you think is right. You can have Hospital Security remove the JW's from the building. The Elders have no right to interfere with your life and family.
• 

  Narcissistic Supply

  I have a hard time taking any of this seriously. Jehovah's witness are a failed social experiment and why would anyone take any of this crap serious???
• 

  whathappened

  Welcome Daniel. Be true to yourself and love your family. We hope for the best in this situation. Hopefully, in time, she will wake up and see that you are right.
• 

  DesirousOfChange

  Nevertheless I think that she has to know one time, about my true feelings about blood transfusions. This is a life and death matter, especially if our child is involved.

  It is NOT a life & death matter until you face a medical emergency. Thus no need to discuss until/IF something occurs.

  In the case of a minor child, the State will issue a court order to administer a blood transfusion. Even the Hosp Liason Committee will tell you to accept their decision and leave the matter in Jehovah's hands.

  If you're intent on doing what you want to do, then just ignore all this adivice from dozen of people who have walked in your path ahead of you, and DO IT.

  Let us know how that works for you.

  "Experience is the best teacher . . . but a fool will learn from no other."

  (Everyone always forgets the 2nd part of the quote.)

  Doc
• 

  sherrie11

  "In the last elders school, they told us to cooperate with doctors when a minor is involved and not insist on no blood transfusion (just tell them of our blood less wishes). If we would insist on no blood, this could lead to taking away the right to care for the child".

  Sounds like the Society is covering their butt.