When I got home from work this afternoon my wife was standing near the door looking at me and said you need to sit down I have some hard news to tell you. So I sat down and she began saying my brother called and I imminently ask if my mom had died. She said no but my mother told my brother a deep family secrect that no one knows about. It seems back in 1968 when I was 14 my father who is now dead had a child with another women in our small town and that is the reason we moved to FL in 1970. I was speechless. I have a half brother living somewhere else I do not know about. This does explain alot of things to me about my family. I knew they was screwed up but this? Unbelievable!!!! Of course my brother the cult elder took 2 months to tell me after finding out. He told me he did not know if he should or not. But finally decided he should. Lucky me!! He also goes on I should not say anything to my kids about it or even try to look up our half brother. I told him I will think about it but it's up to me what I decide.
My father the one who everybody thought was such a great elder the one who would talk on stage all the time about how bad adultery was. The one everyone would tell me how great it must of been to be raised by him. That statement always made me sick to my stomach by the way. The one that entire elder bodies would listen to and respect. I had a close friend tell me many years ago when I first became a elder this "Totally ADD listen very closely to what elders say on stage. If they talk alot about a certain thing alot. They are probable gulity of it. Well guess what my dad talk alot about on stage?" So here I am kinda numb right now. Mrs. Reopened Mind is at work so I have no one to talk to right now.
So here is some question I will be asking myself and thinking about for many days to come. Should I try to contact this person? What about his family? I know my parents knew this lady because they went to school together. So that would make her 90 if she is still alive. Does our half brother know about this or has he been left in the dark also? If I do decide to contact him what would I say? Or is it best to let sleeping dogs lie? I wonder what does he look like? What kind of life has he had? Does he have kids? Where does he live? The questions keep coming and coming. I can tell this has upset my elder brother very much. For the first time I can remember he talk about how bad it was to live with our parents. How abusive they was. How our mom was very hateful. Then because he was 11 when our parents came into the cult he said how he remember how happy she was before coming into the cult and really hated not being able to celebrate the holidays anymore or be around our so called worldly relatives. So according to my mother my father always had a problem keeping his penis in his pants. What a revelation!!!!!
That's the story. I don't know what else to say. Except this has sure been one hellish year for us. Thanks for listening. Totally ADD