I think I have finally reached the point were I have to make a hard decision....

by confusedandalone 42 Replies latest jw experiences

  • confusedandalone
    confusedandalone

    <rant>

    I know I have been rambling alot (feel free to delete my threads if so), but it appeas I am getting to the point where I see no use in the bible. I feel very bad about this right NOW. I am not sure how I will feel about that in the future but honestly I am fed up.

    God sanctions killing kids and women and animals for no real discernable reason.

    Our examples are villainous murderers and rapists quite often.

    90% of the prophecies are shrouded in mystery and everyone has an interpretation but GOD doesn't just clear things up.

    There is no discernible evidence of any miracles actually taken place.

    LITERALLY thousands of years havepassed and nothing has been revealed or ended.

    In all of this confusion I am told either Gods concept of time is different, his thoughts are higher than ours,etc... ultimately I can devote many years of my life as a giant mensa-like crossword puzzle that I can never figure out yet if I do not try to complete it with all the vigor of my soul I will die. Not just a normal death a violent painful one. So its not enough to snuff me out because after all I can throw my hands up and just say forget it I just won't live forever..... nooooooo that isn't an option because if I don't atleast try to live this strict unfulfilling life constantly looking for answers that no one in all human existence has ever figured out I will become a literal ZOMBIE and my eyes will rot in the socket and my tongue will rot in my mouth ala Zechariah 14:12 ( Their flesh will rot while they are still standing on their feet, their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths.)

    Something tells me that someone in the sky that loves me will not allow this happen to ANYONE because being made in his image "supposedly", I can not dream up something so vile let alone someone who is far more loving than I am.

    </rant>

  • Seraphim23
    Seraphim23

    Try the Turin shroud and look there.

  • confusedandalone
    confusedandalone

    I am looking and all i see is what could possibly be an ancient bath towel that was used by a filth quarry worker.

  • Seraphim23
    Seraphim23

    I still believe in God so I wouldn’t give up searching. I hope I haven’t damaged your hope because we all need that.

  • adamah
    adamah

    Yup, religion has ALL of the hallmarks of being the result of the desires of mortal MEN, and being started by an all-powerful being that exists.

    God would have to intentionally go out of his way to create the impression of not existing, which is pretty much as nefarious and equivalent as actually NOT existing, anyway.

    Like the old saying goes, "if God didn't exist, men would've created him". And in a nutshell, that's pretty much what happened.

    I still believe in God so I wouldn’t give up searching. I hope I haven’t damaged your hope because we all need that.

    Yup, that's an idea that ancient people knew: it's reflected in the ancient Greek myth of Pandora's Box (where hope remained in the box; Christians used the same concept to claim that Jesus is indicated by Genesis 3:16). The power of hope is even confirmed by modern science, which shows that hopeless people are more likely to suffer from depression.

    The mistake is assuming that ONLY the Bible gives hope: nope, it's actually a FALSE hope, and what happens when one finally figures out that it's all a big lie? Even Jesus cruelly warned against building hope on unsteady ground: that's the ultimate betrayal of trust, IMO.

    Fact is, many people do quite well without relying on FALSE hopes: I get along fine, and actually gain a sense of PERSONAL POWER from KNOWING rather than fantasizing. Fantasies only give a false sense of protection which "works", but ONLY until the illusion/delusion collapses (which it WILL for many who learn TTATT and TTATB). It's called "losing your religion", and its as much of a personal loss as any. You're going thru a process which others have gone thru, and came out on the other end still intact and even STRONGER, BETTER, more-moral people....

    Adam

  • confusedandalone
    confusedandalone

    Seraphim you have nothing to do with this... it has been a battle i have dealt with for years, its just that at this point in life it is best to just face things head on. Enjoy the life we have an do our best to make it better for the next guy.

    If god wanted all this study and research etc... to be done and no one has succeeded in the last few millenia in getting it right - maybe he never intended for us to do it. My HOPE now is that my CHILDREN have good fulfilling lives and devote their lives to doing WHATEVER makes them happy. Not this drudgery and searching for secrets...

    ************************************

    What is even worse is for years as an adult making myself understand that I can't think like god so all these bad things are beyond comprehension for me. I accepted that. However when you have young kids who come to you and want you to explain why GOD wants to make people die painful instead of just putting them to sleep... AND THERE IS NO FREAKING LOGICAL ANSWER. Even a child can see it, but I can't

  • Seraphim23
    Seraphim23

    Ok, and without sounding patronising or hopefully not, spiritually or religion is not for everyone. Some people are good at loving others without any of that and I have a feeling they will be ok. I wish you and your kids all the luck in the world. I should add that I have the view that God does step in during the dying process for kids when they die.

  • problemaddict
    problemaddict

    Interesting that you and I have more than a few parallels. I guess I too am kind of breakign into the agnostic catagory. I still believe in God, not so sure about the various holy books.

  • confusedandalone
    confusedandalone

    Seraphim you don't sound patronising. You have your views and beliefs and they bring you comfort. That is a good thing.

    What makes me the most comfortable at this point in life is realizing that life is grand without having to constantly search for something that no one has found for thousands of years. I am not special and I do no thave the time to keep digging around for this stuff. Especially when the only places to dig around for it are in books that were written by people with obvious agendas... regardless of religion.

    Ultimately I have noticed that in life i have been at my happiest times when I was not involved in any form of religious service or meditating on BOOKS and ideas of some prophet. If there is a god I can not attribute the things in the bible to him because that would be unfair. I have no proof that he did those things.

    " I have the view that God does step in during the dying process for kids when they die"

    Although that belief might make you feel better inside there is nothing anywhere that says he does this. You can see kids dying slow painful deaths of hunger... they hurt. they feel pain. they suffer. so it is obvious that he doesn't help them during the dying process unless all those kids are lying as they lie on the floor balled up in pain thinking to themselves... wow this feels great

  • confusedandalone
    confusedandalone

    " I guess I too am kind of breakign into the agnostic catagory. I still believe in God, not so sure about the various holy books. "

    I am definaitely at the point where I feel if there is a god he probably is not interested in my day to day activities. I am still confused as to wether there is a GOD although I lean heavily toward the fact that there is. Probably because so much of my life has been centered around this fact. As for the holy books I find them to be an enormous joke and waste of time. If any one group of people has a holy book that doesn't say the exact same thing as another then one is false. If god doesn't step up and say the other is correct then it is false as well as far as I am concerned.

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