by ILoveTTATT 15 Replies latest jw friends
I am keeping this short because I have little time but... Here are my favorite lampoons of the buzzwords:
Watchtower - Washtowel
conventions - CON-ventions... I would invent CON-MEN-SHOWNS
assembly- ASSembly
organization - the Borg
elders - eldubs, eldaaaars
keep them coming!! This should be fun... hahahah
PLEASE don't encourage wtwizard to add to this thread, it will be enormous!
Second thoughts, maybe if he lists all his substitute and made up words I'll have a chance at being able to understand what he's posting about!
Splash
How happifying!
Kind of rude but...
witlesses
Special Assembly Day - SAD day
BetHELL
Buzz Words In Their Literature
| This Clearly Shows . . . | Obviously . . . |
| The Bible plainly says . . . | Logically . . . |
| Has clearly shown . . . | Justifiably . . . |
| We have clearly seen . . . | Surly this is reasonable . . . |
| The evidence shows . . . | We might reasonable assume. . . |
| The evidence should be clear . . . | Most/Many Scholars . . . |
| Reasonably, then . . . | Surely then . . . |
| Thus the facts make clear . . . | Truly . . . |
| What must one do . . . | Apparently... |
| Most certainly... | Of course... |
| Isn't it reasonable to conclude... | Possibly... |
| Fine examples... | Probably... |
| Thus, we can see... | .Evidently |
Oh lord. Grow up.
Pioneers= Pios Sneers
No doubt = no evidence
And what about joke-hova? Jokehovians? This is what Jehovah actually deserves. And Jehovah's--or jokehovians. The witlesses is obvious, since most of them don't have any wits.
Other terms for Jehovah may include Baghead, Almighty Lowlife Scumbag, and Tyrant. That thing lives up to all of the above.
I also use the terms a$$embly (the dollar signs indicating the real purpose of the event and not to edit out "swearing"). Big boasting sessions refer to the one-day a$$emblies. The great boasting sessions are the 2-day events, and the grand boasting sessions are the ones where everyone is supposed to be traveling out of town, and usually lasts 3 days but used to last as long as 8 days. The supreme boasting session, reject Jesus party, or reject Astaroth party all refer to the memorial. Simple "boasting session" refers to the regular meetings.
Elders--or hounders. I call the ministerial servants "assistant hounders" since they assist the hounders. This is because they are there to hound. Hounder-hounders are those who travel periodically to hound the hounders. The hounder-hounders have their hounders to make sure they are hounding the hounders to hound the flock. And so on, up to the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger, which is the group that actually makes the rules.
botch, cower, bile and trick/slack society
