You must admit there are some entertaining stories in the Bible.

by jam 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • jam
    jam

    I thought this was funny.

    ESV: Deuteronomy 23:1 No one whose testicles are crused

    or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of

    the Lord.

    KJV: He that is wounded in the stones (LOL), or hath his privy

    member cut off shall not enter into the congregation of the

    Lord.

    I would think that is the best place for the guy. If it was a

    case of self-mutilation maybe the guy realize he made a mistake,

    now he is banned from the house of the Lord.

    How do you show repentance, sew it back on.

    Funny stories in that book.

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    LOL@ JAM

    Maybe the good book is sayin' that

    any man stupid enough to go to sleep after he made his woman mad

    without an apology will be banned from the house of the lord due to crushed

    or cut off organs

  • jam
    jam

    wasblind: good one, yes that would be stupid. So funny.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    “‘Only this is what ? YOU ? may eat of all the winged swarming creatures that go upon all fours, those that have leaper legs above their feet with which to leap upon the earth. 22 These are the ones of them ? YOU ? may eat of: the migratory locust according to its kind, and the edible locust after its kind, and the cricket according to its kind, and the grasshopper according to its kind. 23 And every other winged swarming creature that does have four legs is a loathsome thing to ? YOU ."--Leviticus 11

    mmkay, so do or don't eat things with 4 legs. Got it.

    Also--locusts, grasshoppers and crickets--mm mm good.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    If you view them as stories, fine. As fiction, what is in the LIE-ble is sort of like a PG-13 version of Mother Goose nursery rhymes.

    Trouble is, the LIE-ble is full of witchcraft. No one recognizes it. It is designed to make itself look like the actual truth, instead of fiction. Some people can read Genesis and realize that Jacob did not deserve to be honored, yet joke-hova honored that thing anyways--and wish to not honor joke-hova for that. Others think that, since joke-hova honored scumbag Jacob and scorned industrious Esau, there has to be some excuse. Some realize that, if Jesus came from Jacob's line and Jacob was nothing more than a swindler, Jesus must be worthless (or even fiction). In that category, you might even be able to get entertainment value out of pondering why people can read Jscob's story and still view that thing as righteous.

    However, for those who still think joke-hova is automatically righteous, caution is advised. Joke-hova endorses Jacob, Joshua, Tyrant David, and others who led the attack on Gentile nations who simply minded their own business. Joke-hova also endorsed the apostle Paul (after that thing became xian), including when that thing bashed women and homosexuals, took a grudging attitude toward marriage, and endorsed slavery. And Jesus--before I came to the realization that thing was nothing more than corrupted allegories, I thought he was merely speaking in pictures. Now I realize that character was put here to help with the global enslavement project. Turning the other cheek? Why, so your masters can abuse you more? Selling your property to give to the poor. What about those who buy it? Are they thus damned? And, finding so many parallels between Christi-SCAM-ity and communism. At one point, while I was a witless, I was seeing a communist condition--of course, believing only that lack of "perfect love" was why it didn't work.

    Yes, if you can read these stories and realize they are corrupt, or use it against itself or those religions that claim to abide by it, the LIE-ble provides masterful fiction. Just beware lest you start viewing it as real, or start taking portions of its advice. That book when put together was designed to enslave us all.

  • mP
    mP

    jam:

    I think the real question that needs to be asked is how would they know if you had a missng or crushed testicle when you entered the temple for worship ?

    I can only think of one answer, everybody got their balls fondled on the way in and maybe out to make sure none got lost while inside.

    WIth all that ball checking you can also check to make sure everyone is circumcized. No wonder the jewish word for sacred also is related to sacred prostitution. No wonder hosea married a whore, this was merely a corporate merger between his temple and her whoring temple business. The same goes for Ruth, she was such a good priestess she gets a special mention as jesus ancestor.

    All relgion is fertility worship.

  • Narcissistic Supply
    Narcissistic Supply

    revelation was written by some dude on a really bad acid trip.

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    jam:

    I think the real question that needs to be asked is how would they know if you had a missng or crushed testicle when you entered the temple for worship ?____mp

    Those who approached the temple singin' kingdom melodies in saprano

    would be denied entrance

  • mP
    mP

    was:

    Your test may be useful but doesnt work if you only lost one ball .

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    Maybe they'd look up your fringed skirt- but then the law was you had to wear underwear going into the temple so your privates wouldn't be hanging over holy ground.

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