Anyone used Steve Hassans techniques to successful get a JW to see TTATT

by Frazzled UBM 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Frazzled UBM

  Hi Everyone

  I am back online (sitting in the Cathay Lounge on my way to Sydney) after a week with my wifes dysfunctional JW family in the rural Philippines. Thanks to your recommendation I have been reading Steve Hassans book and it has been very helpful for improving my communications with my wife by making me understand what will keep conversations going and what will shut them down. It has also helped me to understand what is going on with her. But I wonder whether anyone out there has actually used his book to get a strong JW to recognise their phobias and how the WBTS creates and reinforces those phobias and then to exit and overcome the phobias? I see his approach has potential but doing it effectively seems tricky. I would be really useful to know what works best in practice.

  Thank you for any tips you can give me

  Cheers

  Frazzzled
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  whathappened

  Hope we get some useful replies to this post. I could use help in this area also.
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  breakfast of champions

  My advice doesn't exactly reflect the "Hassan" method but, what I've found that works is:

  Love Bombing: love your wife/husband/family with every last ounce of your existence.

  Appeal to the Real Self: what does your wife/husband/family really love? Sports? Go to a Yankee game one Sunday. Art? Go to the local metropolitan museum in place of a meeting. Fill their lives with reality.

  Avoid doctrine: I think this is in line with what Hassan talks about. What gets at them are the emotional issues: pedophilia and such. As much as you are right about doctrine, avoid it.

  That's what comes to mind right now.
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  Julia Orwell

  What he said, and also I found you can talk about ttatt by day things casually as a 'did you know...' tidbit like, Did you know that of the 5000 nt manuscripts, some dating to 125 ad not one of them has Jehovah in it? Also parallel accounts like, did you know in north Korea you are not allowed to read books from other countries or listen to foreign radio, what do you think they're trying to hide from their people?

  Read ' nothing to envy' by Barbara Demick, a book about north Korea. Helped me see ttatt because the propaganda and totalitarian techniques jumped out at me as being all too familiar. Also, Escape by Carolyn jessop. Get your wife to read them. Not about jws at all, but parallel enough to get one thinking.
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  Julia Orwell

  Or if she's not a reader, like my husband, read them yourself and tell her about them. This helped me open the ttatt thing with my husband and now he's out too. Also what boc Saud n Steve Hassan, god bless his little cotton socks.
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  nonjwspouse

  I actually got my husband to read Hassans first book comatting mind control. it took a while before he reluctantly agreed. I explained it was for him to understand why I am so upset, to understand what it bothing me and for him to explain to me why what I was reading was not pertaing to the JW.

  As you can well imagine he read up to the BITE method ( not even named that or even in that oerder in this book) and laughed at the flying saucer cult ( ironic huh?) . Once he read the rest of the book he actually tagged the exact BITE method pages. We could't talk very much before his JW guard went up in full force, so it ended there. That was almost a year ago. I keep hoping some of that he read stuck inside his brain like a seed that is growing.
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  nonjwspouse

  BOC I agree with the love bombing. I have been doing this. Taking very good care of him, staying very attentive, and recently going to extreme lengths in helping him to diagnose his health problems. He has been noticing, and commenting on how friends of his ( these are non JW just FYI) say thier wives woudn't stay up all hours of the night googling symptoms like a bloodhound on a trail to become extremely educated on what is ailing them.

  So far it;s been over a year snce he is read or attended anything JW related except he did go to the memorial.
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  jgnat

  I've been using it for years on my illogical husband and what it has given me is my authentic husband most of the time. I can usually short-circuit the Witness thinking, too.

  I would not give him Hassan's book to read.

  I keep reminding him of those qualities that make him unique and interesting. The WTS can't competely erase that. This is the man who plays hooky from the meeting and does normal things instead.

  I suggest you broaden your goal to helping your wife to think independently. Then she can figure things out on her own without you leading her by the nose.

  I've had filipino employees and many have very strong family ties. They really need to learn to break out on their own and be their own person.

  Third-person "what if" questions can help. As in, "There was a Catholic girl was so controlled by her parents that they ruined every relationship she had because they weren't Catholic enough. She died a spinster and alone. Is that right?"
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  nonjwspouse

  jgnaut,

  two things that were said i believe have made an impression on him.

  1. I asked him what he would do if he saw that I was highly interested and moving towards joining a cult. He replied " the same thing you are doing right now, learning more about it and trying to show you what I learned"

  2. I commented he was not studying to learn IF he wanted to be baptised ( which he origionally stated) but he was studying to leann what he was going to believe to be baptised. The two were different. The second was not learning but indoctrination.

  The last one was said as I left the room.
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  leavingwt

  Yes. My brother used the techniques to rescue our parents. It took months.