For those that are dis-fellowshipped or dis-associated: do you speak to JW's even though they know you're disfellowshipped or dis-associated?
Being dis-fellowshipped or dis-associated
by Smitty 18 Replies latest jw friends
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Sirona
I'm not, but if I was, I would. Why give them the satisfaction of shunning? As a JW I didn't have a problem talking to DF as long as the elders didn't know.
Recently I went to a JW wedding and a DF person was there....so I talked to him in full view of everyone.
Sirona
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flower
Personally I keep my distance from dubs but it has nothing to do with my being disfellowshiped. I just think their wierd.
(just kidding..sorta)
There are a couple of dubs that I talk to online who know I am df'd and still talk to me but most dubs in my area in real life will not talk to me.
I'd talk to them if they talked to me. But I proly wouldnt talk about religion which would limit the conversation quite a bit for them.
flower
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writerpen
There are alot who do not realize I've been disfellowshipped, so I carry on a conversation with them if they initiate it. Then there are the ones who do know I've been df. And because my personality is one that just speaks - like "Hi, how are you?" - to people that I know, I've found myself doing that out of habit to those that I run into in town that know I've been df. Whenever they see me and hear me speak, they turn corpsy, as in skeletal, and their eyes look like a robot, rolling away like having been programmed to do so. Of course they have been! Anyway, I don't speak to them to be mean, it's just my personality.
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Smitty
I'm very friendly by nature. When I see them, I smile and say a big, "Hey, how are you?" Most of them speak back. They will even answer questions. Last night I had an extensive conversation with and elder and his wife. It was very friendly and open. It seems if it doesn't bother me, it doesn't bother them. If I let them just walk by without saying anything, they won't say anything to me. I consider it there problem not mine. I'm not carrying that weighty rule on my back. 95% respond this way.
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roybatty
I greet they (JWs) whenever I see them in public. Nothing obnoxious, just a "hello, how are you?" type of greeting. If they asked me not to speak to them, then I'd honor their request but why should I assume that a committee of three little men speak for these people.
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QUEENIE
IT ALL DEPENDS ON MY M O O D AND WHAT HOLIDAY WE ARE CELIBRATING AS TO WHETHER I WILL BE ALL THAT TALKATIVE!!!!! peace / have a good one !!!
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NameWithheld
Smitty, that's the way to do it. I think most JWs really hate the akwardness of being around DF'ed ones, and would rather not shun. So if you set the tone and act as if nothing's wrong, sometimes they respond to you the same way. Of course, it may be different if they are around other JWs, then groupthink kicks in and they don't want to been seen speaking to you.
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Room 215
My experience is that many JWs will return greetings, or even speak to a Dfd person whne not in the company of other JWs. Peer pressure (the fear of being tattled upon) will change their demeanor when other JWs are arounds. Of course, there are always the hardasses who wouldn't even acknowledge their mother once she takes a dip in a YWCA pool.
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Dawn
Whenever I run into elders they're always very friendly and want to know how things are going with my mom (a recent widow - my dad was an elder).
As for everyone else, I run into them quite a bit. I smile and say hi - a few have smiled back but that's it. In fact they go out of their way to avoid me. If I go into an isle in the store that they're in they'll quickly leave and go to another isle - sometimes I just follow them around for fun - then sometimes I just go about my business - depends on my mood.
There are a TON of them at the gym where I have a membership, I used to feel really uncomfortable there because I would always run into 2 or 3 of them, and I go about 4 times a week. But now I've made a lot of other friends there, and a number of people from my new church have joined so I don't feel so alone there.