Now I'm not a JW, is it ok for me to...

by Julia Orwell 40 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  rmt1

  Why did Jesus serve, have, aid and abet wine? For its antioxidant properties?

  The metric I use is lightness of being, levity, merriment, and then beyond merry into the absurd or surreal, or diminished judgement, beyond which are altered states with diminished physical coordination. The falling down states are really for the frat boy set, because they haven't done it. The absurd or surreal is for special rare occasions where you need to take a mental vacation from the draconian limits of strict rationality. RARE, like, twice or three times a year. Merriment can be more often than that but certainly is not an object of imbibing, certainly not a goal, and can be more of a tolerable accident. Lightness of being and levity are good for any time, except, don't imbibe to maintain a buzz. A buzz has a natural beginning, a natural plateau, a natural ending. Don't abuse the natural course of the molecule in the body by chasing what is inherently ephemeral. Accept and surf the zen, then be done.
• 

  nugget

  You are a grown up and have the authority to make your own decisions and choices. you know when you have drunk too much or been drinking too often and what you want to do.

  Drinking decent wine on a Sunday afternoon seems like a civilised way to spend the afternoon to me. Having to keep two steps ahead of the kids coupled with low tolerance to alcohol prevents me from joining you.
• 

  adamah

  Julia said-

  I feel like I wanna finish this bottle of wine, not because I want to, but because I can.

  Yeah, that's an extremely poor reason to drink, or to do anything that is potentially self-destructive, as it is acting out based on defiance (which is not unusual for people after having exited a higly-controlled environment; many pop like a bottle of champagne after the cork is removed, after years of repression).

  Although you don't have to follow THEIR rules, it would be extremely foolish to leave one damaging high-controlled environment ONLY to engage in self-destructive practices which only hurts yourself and those around you, in the long run: THAT would be the same end-point of WHY you left the JWs in the first place, right? Because it was potentially hurting others (eg no blood policy), based on a lie? You can do as much REAL damage to your loved ones with a bottle as you can do with a Bible.

  You now have to accept the responsibility to YOURSELF (and your liver) to NOT do anything that is harmful to YOUR long-term best interests, and that includes dealing with alcoholism.

  If you think you have a problem with drinking, you might be right. Seek professional assistance, and don't simply trade one addiction (endorphin rush from feeling loved by God) for another (endorphin rush from alcohol), since there's things that are far WORSE than being a JW and you can't take control of your life if you're only going to hand control over to others (JW elders) or to a bottle.

  Just remember: Rome wasn't built in a day, so don't try to make up for lost time, take on too much change at once, etc. Pace yourself (which is also good advice when drinking).

  Adam
• 

  flipper

  We all have the freedom to choose how much or if we will drink or not. How much or if we will smoke weed or not. How much great sex we will have - or not. I mean there are lots of enjoyable things in this life to enjoy - but how it affects our time consumption, health , or how we balance it out with our other responsibilities and life pursuits is only a question WE can answer. I would only advise that if you have a history of alcoholism in your family, please be careful as it can be inherited and it can affect your health and liver and longevity of life in time. Be careful. We care about you
• 

  adamah

  BTW, some ex-JWs reason, "well, if the JWs said I CAN'T do X, I'll do it, since they were wrong on Y!" That's silly, and serves as no more valid reasoning as what they just left, since it's over-generalizing.

  MANY of the belief-driven lifestyle practices of JWs ARE good ideas (eg moderation in drinking), it's just that they typically get so carried away with regulating them, they lose sight of the forest for the trees. As the old saying goes, even a blind mouse finds the cheese, i.e. it's a mistake to conclude that someone being wrong on SOME issues means they are wrong on OTHER issues, too. If it were that simple, then you'd have the answer of doing everything OPPOSITE to them, and you'd have found the answer (the trick George Constanza tried on Seinfeld, of asking what the "old" loser George would do, and then doing the opposite of his instincts).

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKUvKE3bQlY

  Adam
• 

  finally awake

  IMO, an entire bottle of wine in one go (even over several hours) is too much if done on a regular basis. Once or twice a year, like when you are on vacation is OK. But weekly or monthly would be too often. But that's just my personal opinion.
• 

  Xanthippe

  'It's just hard to sort of know where JW uptightness ends and being sensible starts.' Yes that's the problem we all face but you are bound to want to do all the things you couldn't do before, that's only natural. Why not stick to the 14 units a week for women that health experts recommend after you have let it all hang out for a few weeks? I love wine too by the way, Julia and red wine is supposed to be very good for you!
• 

  Julia Orwell

  Hi everyone, thanks for your frank and honest replies, especially those that dared tell me i mitt have a problem or be developing one. I think you may be right, and taking your comments on board, I believe I owe it to myself and loved ones to practice more moderation. After all the crap I got healthwise and mental wise from being a Jw, I don't need to recover from that and end up jumping into another unhealthy situation, no sir!

  Thanks all!
• 

  LisaRose

  I don't think what you are doing is wrong or bad on an occasional basis, but if you do it too much, over a period of years, it can become sort of a habit, and that can become a problem. I love my wine and my husband and I can easily polish off a bottle between us, and more once in a while. But as I get older, my tolerance is less, so I have been trying to drink no more than one, unless it's a special occasion.

  But it's your life and your liver, use your own judgement. That's something you never could do before.
• 

  gma-tired2

  Julia whatever you are comfortable with. Enjoy your wine.