by forgetmenot 21 Replies latest jw friends
Okay, I have a question for all you who think you are in love. Did you have to work really hard at capturing the person you in love with's attention or did it just happen? Was it an actual thing you planned or what?
I'm afraid that my background as a TRULY good, honest, and faithful JW has left me at a disadvantage in the flirting and the encouraging guy attention department. I just feel akward and embarassed.
forgetmenot:
My husband and I were friends first for about 5 years before we even started dating. We hung out with the same group of people. I dated his friends, he dated my friends kind of thing. And then at one point we realized that we had feelings for each other and wanted to have a go at it. And here we are 15 years later. My personal feeling is that being friends first is better. But thats just me.
Shimmer
forgetmenot...sometimes being awkward and embarassed is the best way. It say's you're not a show pony...so enjoy being the person that you are. Someone will notice and appreciate you for the good qualities and high standards that make you who you are.
What kind of man do you want to attract? There are different types of guys out there...there are the ones who's eyes narrow and are fixed like an eagle on its prey as a slim leggy busty blonde walks past...I call them sleezes. Some girls dress and act in a certain way to get this type of guys attention....I call them tarts. Some girls get this type of attention even though they don't act or dress to invite it..I call them modestly attractive...the guys are still sleezes.
Then there are the guys who DONT like tarts. They are looking for someone who can offer them a more meaningful friendship/relationship. I call them a fine catch indeed. I agree with Shimmer...friendship first.
Have you ever considered downloading ICQ or Mirc?
Beck
I hope I'm not out of line by speaking for the sleezes of the world. But while cruising the bar scene guys certainly look for fast and easy. We don't expect much when that happens either. Conversation really isn't necessary, just easy works.
But, when I wanted to find a wife I actually stopped looking. Before you knew it a couple of nice decent women were in my life. My wife was pretty shy at the time. Very awkward and she always felt out of place. That endeared her to me.
And if you want to get a guys attention, just do a quick look and look away, as soon as you see him catch your look. Some guys will have enough guts to move forward and then it's up to you to decide if he is worth your time or not.
Never Squat With Yer Spurs On
I had met him about a year before and we were just friends, at first.
He approached me at a party. All the other guys were drunk and obnoxious but he was drinking pop which kindof impressed me. Im no angel, I mean, even I had a beer, but he seemed not afraid to be different. I knew there was somthing special about him because,
O.K. Dont laugh.
He made me feel like I was gonna' throw up!
I was SO nervouse! and no, it wasnt the beer.
I had never felt like that with any other guy.
Then, he gave me his coat since it was cold out.
He came into the house to talk to my grandparents whenever he picked me up. He was very respectful to his parents. Good sign.
We have been together for over 14 years and I honestly still enjoy being with him. Everyone in my J.W. family likes him, even though hes a "CATHOLIC". He is a great husband, very generous lover and wonderful father to our children.
Right now hes downstairs working in the woodshop with our son.
I am very lucky. We were so young when we married and I know most of the time it doesnt work out in that case.
I wish I could clone him and give one to each of you.
Dear Forgetmenot. You either got it or you don't. Please hear me out. Both my children - a daughter aged 24 and son aged 22 are hopeless at flirting. My daughter sounds just like you and she wasn't raised in the Organsiation. Both my kids are good looking but just haven't got a clue about how to chum up to the opposite sex. Yet I was a flirt and still am - though I've remained faithful to one guy my entire life. I was 15 when I met my husband and he's an angel. He isn't a flirt but a fun loving, warm hearted guy. He knows I'm flirtatious, but sensible with it. Perhaps playful is a better word. I think the ability to flirt is either in your genes or it isn't. I get it from my Irish ancestery.
I really don't understand why my kids are so awkward around the opposite sex. My daughter blushes and is anxious about meeting guys. But like I say to her - just be yourself. If you are a nice person, with a good heart and kindly ways then nothing else is required. If possible do try to show a little bit of special interest in a guy if you like him. I know this because my son is too afraid to approach girls for fear of rejection. He needs encouragement. If you can try to see it from their point of view then you might not feel so uptight about it.
best wishes
Marilyn
Heaven:
I wish I could clone him and give one to each of you.
Don't wish too hard....time's are a changin' baby! I love your posts...you're always so positive and happy...you have a great disposition and outlook in life.
Marilyn...I think you are right. My daughter has the 'gift' whereas I never did. Sometimes it makes me cross the way she flirts with guys...I feel like giving her a clout over the ear. Its not that I'm jealous of her either...I just worry that she will attract the wrong kind of guy like LB mentioned. We could swap daughters?? LOL
Beck
The love of my life fell into my lap, he is the best thing that has happened in my life, and my daughter should hang out with yours beck , they would make a good team, lol
I think everyone deserves to be happy.
Theres must be a perfect match for each of us out there somewhere.
Its sad that there are so many that stay in abusive relationships and never experience love.
Beck,
That is sweet of you to say.
I try to stay positive but if I feel strongly on an issue, you may notice my claws come out. I guess its only human. I try not to be judgemental though.
I once fell in love with a sandwich. Unfortunately, my love consumed it.
