preventing baptism of minors

by og 35 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  SumnerSloan

  Og:

  I hope you’ll permit a lurker to contribute to this conversation. This is a subject close to my heart. I do not believe in child baptism. As someone else already mentioned, Jesus himself wasn’t baptized until he was 30 years old, even though demonstrating a very strong faith much earlier (as evidenced by his conduct at the temple when he was 12). There might be the occasional exception to the rule – a very serious-minded kid who really knows what he/she wants - but generally it’s more the case of being pressured, either by parents or friends.We’re taught at the KH that once a kid reaches the “age of accountability” (and when that may be “only Jehovah knows”!), she is responsible for her actions whether baptized or not. So much for riding in on Mom or Dad’s coattails! Plus, I think it is too often the case, if they were really honest with themselves, that kids get baptized because their friends are getting baptized.

  However, you’re kind of between a rock and a hard place because any resistance by you would probably be interpreted as “opposition to the Truth”, making her feel all the more obligated to follow through as a demonstration of her loyalty to Jehovah.

  As several others have suggested, all you can really do is talk to her (and her mother) about it. Let them know your concerns have more to do with her welfare, and potential for making mistakes due to her youthfulness, and how proud you are of her for being such a good-hearted, spiritual-minded person.

  Good luck!
• 

  teejay

  Og,

  It’s years away, but one day I’ll be faced with the same dilemma. Mine is still quite young (3) but when the time comes I plan on re-engaging with the Borg on a limited basis, to keep tabs on what she’s taught and make sure she knows The Rest of the Story™.

  I sometimes think about an experience I heard years ago in which a man said that he would accept his wife becoming “anything but a JW.” That man amuses me now because I am him! I will do everything possible to keep my daughter from becoming a JW, but I will accept her decision.

  If she is a minor and I have no reasonable legal means to avert the event, without coming across as an arch-opposer/apostate I will use every means possible to let her know clearly and repeatedly that, imo, she is making a tremendous mistake but that I would love her just the same and support her in every way I could.

  When and if failure (df’ing) came, it would serve a vital lesson for her: Dad is sometimes worth listening to.
• 

  simplesally

  I have not read all the responses, however, I would not encourage her "to do her own thing".

  I would think about the reasons why you don't think its a good idea she gets baptized. Some kids get bp'd because their friends do it, some because their family has done it. I'd ask "why?"

  Why does she want to become baptized? What are the baptism questions? Does she agree with them? Cuz I don't after the fact!!
• 

  og

  I should clarify something. She's 13 now, and I don't have any reason to believe she's planning baptism immediately. But her mother was baptized (and she also had an unbelieving - but not opposed - father) at 15, and I'm pretty sure it is something she is starting to think about. This thread is helping me to formulate a strategy, and your responses have been very useful. Also, she is a "publisher" now, which I have come to think of as sort of a practice baptism, because being removed as a publisher, should it happen, is done from the platform, effectively marks a person, and is traumatic. More WS petty BS.
• 

  LDH

  Then again......

  The United in Worship book has over 100 questions that someone has to answer correctly in order to get baptised.

  Tell her you'd like to study with her....and don't just ask the questions in the book, ask the *real* questions.

  Since you are still head of the house and she is an unbaptised minor, she has no choice in the matter--she will have to study with you. She won't be violating any of their stupid "no scriptural discussions" rules. Of course you wouldn't want to make it a chore--just ask all the right questions.

  Know what I mean, Vern?

  Lisa
• 

  detective

  Does anyone know where I can find a copy of the baptism questions online? I'd like some additional details on this baptism thang (jw-style). Any websites or scans?

  Og, I'm sorry you are going through tough stuff. I'm with you though, I believe you should tell your daughter that when she is eighteen she can go ahead with it if she chooses. If you end up looking like the bad guy, it probably won't matter in ten years when she's out and thanking you for it. And... from what I understand, it's likely she WILL get out eventually if this trend of young people leaving has any merit to it. I'll bet it does.