My best friend is a JW

WinstonWigglesworth

My best friend is a JW but she can't do anything outside of school with me. It's really hard cuz she gets jealous when I do things with our other friends outside of school. We invite her but she's never allowed to go. I feel bad but what can I do? Is there some way I can convice her parents that we're not looking to convert her to christianity? WE just wanna hang out with her!!

Prisila

I am truly sorry for the harsh reality I am about to share with you. It they are hardcore JWs there is NO WAY they will allow you to associate with their daughter. You see under the JW mentality, we are convinced that we should set ourselves apart from the “world.” And unfortunately you are “worldly.”

Now I am sure you are a fine young lady. However, the JWs view on this is clear. They DO NOT stray from their brotherhood and or sisterhood fro friendship, trust or even love. In my opinion they promote a different kind of hate, segregation, and or prejudice . . . that of religion. They belief they are the ONLY “true” religion. They belief they are superior to any other person who is NOT a JW.

Most of them are good people. However, they have a whacked sense of superiority. When I was 16, (I’m 28 now) I had a great friend that I truly loved. We had fun together. She was a GOOD person. But our literature, our talks (sermons), and my mother all promoted this notion that if she was NOT a JW she was “worldly”, bad and not worthy of my association. I’ll NEVER forget telling her I could NOT be her friend any longer, unless she converted. She tried, but couldn’t. And so I was forced to leave her friendship, even though we had a strong bond. I’ll never forget the pain in her face when I told her. And I’ll never forget the pride in my mom’s face when I told her.

Please don’t take this personal. They are the ones who are wrong. I could justify by saying that they unquestionably have a high morals. But does that mean you do not? Of coarse not! Her parents don’t want to lose her to the “world.” And to them you are the “world.”

You could tell her parents you want to study. But then you have 2 potential problems.
1. They might see through your scheme and then forbid your friendship. OR
2. You could get sucked in.

My advice:
Don’t take it personal. Make another friend.

This is worse case scenario, maybe their a little more relaxed and therefore they might allow you to socialize. However, I know what I’m talking about because I’ve been a JW for 25 yrs and I’m in the process of getting out.

I hope this helped.

U.2.K.

ha,ha... Worldly, All of mankind is Worldly, just like All of mankind is full of Sin & imperfect,. My advice Is to Do whatever, but just make sure it's something That makes God & Jesus christ Happy, Something that's righteous In their eyes, not your eyes. Cause God & Christ is greater than man

Blessd are those Servants, Whom the lord
when he cometh shall find Watching

Only Wish to Breed, I exploded to a million seeds,
"y'all Remeber me" Legendary Lived Eternally- The General
Makaveli

avengers

u2k

My advice Is to Do whatever, but just make sure it's something That makes God & Jesus christ Happy, Something that's righteous In their eyes

I bet it just makes Jehovah and Jesus sooooooooooo happy that you have so many "good" comments on this forum. You are an example of everything that is good and right.

cornish

Hi WinstonWigglesworth
You could be a really good friend by learning about how to help her think for herself and get her free will back,not an easy task for the faint hearted a delicate task and like doing a balancing act,to do this you would need to get gemed up on Jws by means of all the cult outreach resources available etc to learn all about the Jw mindset and control methods.

AjaxMan

Winston,

I really for you because I went through the same situation and let me tell you that it is very disappointing and frustrating. JWs are not allowed to have friends outside their religion. They are in a cult: they are so brainwashed to think what they are doing is right and in their mindset, what is not part of their religion is evil.
What you and I consider normal, they consider it evil. Things like Celebrating Holidays and Birthdays, Giving and Receiving Blood, watching certain types of movies and TV shows and listening to certain types of music. Things like that, they do judge.

og

Prisila, you might try looking up your friend from High School. Use classmates.com

One of the best things about getting out for me was looking up old friends. They've been very supportive.

blindfool

www,
My advice is not as drastic as some others here. My advice is for you to be the best friend you can be to this person. You'll need to understand that her religion keeps her away at times, but try to make her feel OK about that.
I think it is great when JW kids meet kids from other religions at school. This shows these children how much of a lie they are being taught about worldly people. Its hard for a witness kid to have friends that they know are nice, and then attend the meetings at the Kindom Hall and hear talks about how bad the world is. This may be one of the things that helps open their eyes.
Be careful how you talk to your friend about religion. Don't critisize her religion. If she asks you to attend the Kingdom Hall, decline and invite her to your church. She won't accept your invitation but it might keep her from trying to convert you.

concerned mama

winston w, how old are you? My daughter is in a similar situation with some romance thrown in, so i understand how you feel.
I think blindfool makes a lot of practical sense. A kid is trapped by their parent's rules, and most kids don't seem to know what they believe anyway. Attacking her religion will only confuse and hurt her, although you can be very honest that you have differing opinions. You will be a living, breathing example that a worldly friend can be as kind, loyal, moral and ethical as any JW. Prisila also makes excellent points, in that eventually if you can't deal with the conflict between the JW world and the real world, you will have to drift apart. I have watched 2 kids try to deal with it for 2 years, and I think it is an impossible situation on a long term basis.

belbab

Dear Wiggles,

What can you do? You can still be friends with her within the school, you can send her notes, cards gifts etc. You can wave to her, smile, send her appropriate jokes. If she has a computer you can e-mail her. You want to do things with her, that is share activities with her. She is like in a prison, you are too as far as associating with her. In prison, you may have to communicate with someone by banging on water pipes etc.

If you remain her friend, time will pass, and time changes things. In the future, may be in a few years, she will break free and you can be friends.

One last thing, I will try and think of examples in the Bible, where people were friends even though they were not of the same faith. The parable of the Good Samaritain comes to mind, but I know there are others. If she is a Jehovah's Witness she will listen to stuff from the Bible and have an answer to give her parents.

Hope this helps,

belbab

My best friend is a JW

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