Please help me with my mother...

by ILoveTTATT 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • ILoveTTATT
    ILoveTTATT

    Ok so... now knowing how important it is not to "spill all the beans"... I am working secretly and cautiously on getting my mother out!

    I have started with some recon work:

    Me: So Mom, how did you come into the truth?

    Mom: I just "came in", there was no one who gave me study.

    Me: What do you mean?

    Mom: Well, I just "came in"... no one gave me any study whatsoever.

    Me: How is that possible? How did you even get baptized?

    Mom: I just read the green book and I had someone else read me the questions... then I tried to memorize the answers.

    Me: So, you never examined JW doctrines for yourself?

    Mom: Not really.

    Me: How did you know it was the truth then?

    Mom: I just knew.

    Me: What need did the witnesses fulfill in you that other religions couldn't?

    Mom: Well, they told me once when I was 5, do you know what God's Name is? I said, Jesus. They said, no, it's Jehovah. So after that, I prayed to "Jesus, or Jehovah".

    Me: Ok so tell me any and all dealings you had with JW's before you came in.

    Mom: Granpa (my great granpa) studied with the witnesses. He told me that everyone lied, but that he trusted the witnesses. He told me never to believe the Catholic priests, and to be careful with them, they could have raped me.

    Me: Oooh I see... How about grandma (her mom)?

    Mom: Grandma did study with the witnesses for a bit, but she never believed anything they said. She would often slam the door on them. I overheard one of the few studies they had with her, and they mentioned that Jesus came to pay for our sins. It made sense. The Catholics never explained that to anyone.

    Me: So, you needed a belief in God, they said that God had a name, that the ransom sacrifice was necessary. There's a lot of religions that fit the bill. Almost all believe in God and the sacrifice, and a lot use Jehovah quite a bit. So, what if it had been those other religions that preached to you and not the JW's?

    Mom: They (the JW's) seemed better, they just had something about them that wasn't in other religions.

    Me: So, you came in because it FELT right, not because you KNEW it was right...

    Mom: Exactly.

    Me: So you knew about the blood issue and stuff before you were baptized? You knew what you were getting into?

    Mom (with a WTH? look on her face): Yes, I just knew it was the right thing. If Jehovah says it, it must be the right thing. (My Mom consistently does this: there is absolutely no difference in her mind between Jehovah and the GB. For her they are one and the same.)

    Me: So why not the Mormons? The evangelical Christians?

    Mom (I didn't know this!! This was a first-timer): The Mormons preached to me once, but I never believed their stuff.

    Me: Yeah, those Mormons! Who could believe the stuff THEY believe, right?

    Mom: Yeah...

    So that, my friends... is approximately my first conversation with my mom... She is completely in the JW's for the FEELINGS she has, and the IMAGE of them being "nice and honest and non-pedophiles, unlike the evil Catholics!!"

    So... I have a loooooooong road ahead of me. Any ideas on getting her to slowly open her mind? I was thinking somehow introducing the Conti case, or, easier because I did read about it, the Starbucks barista in Washington case (I forget her name sorry!!)...

    It will be hard to "crack" her because she is definitely not thinking... it is all about the image they present, zero about the doctrine.

    ILTTATT

  • ILoveTTATT
    ILoveTTATT

    Oh and I forgot another part:

    So... when did you seriously start going to meetings?

    When I got pregnant with you, your aunt told me, make sure you become a JW! You don't want that child (i.e. me) to be destroyed!!

    That was the hardest thing for me to hear... that my Mom has believed a lie... and if she only knew that I was in this site, she would be heartbroken that I lose a hope that is not real!!

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    It sounds like she found friends that filled her socializing card, and she has stuck with it.

    LoisLane

  • ILoveTTATT
    ILoveTTATT

    LoisLane:

    For sure... that is all that keeps her in!! But wow... the intense pain she will bring upon me if I am DF'd... all for a lie???

    How do I help her see TTATT??

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    And that is the $64,000.00 question...

    LoisLane

    PS... ILoveTTATT , I am mentally dead. Tonight I am so sleepy. I must get to bed.

    Sorry, I can't help tonight.

    Good Night to you from The North Pacific.

  • ILoveTTATT
    ILoveTTATT

    That's ok Lois!! Sleep tight... good night!!

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent
    ILoveTTATT - Mom (with a WTH? look on her face): Yes, I just knew it was the right thing. If Jehovah says it, it must be the right thing. (My Mom consistently does this: there is absolutely no difference in her mind between Jehovah and the GB. For her they are one and the same.)

    Hi ILoveTTATT, Don't get too frustrated with your mom's inability to differentiate between the GB and Jehovah. Most "Spiritually Strong" (non-thinking) JWs do the same thing. I noticed the same thing about my former friend who is "Spiritually Strong" (non-thinking) and I was impressed that Steve Hassan wrote about it in CCMC how dangerous cults use cult speak to control members. Also, it is very good that you watch your mother's body language, because her body will not lie to you where as she will respond verbally how the WTBTS has taught her to.

    Since your mother appears to be a "Spiritually Strong" (non-thinking) JW, you must go very, very slow with her. Keep on asking her questions about her life and how she feels. Try to discover what triggers her authentic persona to overcome her cult persona. Ask her more questions about her childhood and what she enjoyed when she was young. She may have some repressed memories about the JWs if her mother did not like the WTBTS. Ask questions that will help your mother seperate how your grandmother felt about the WTBTS versus JWs. Did your grandfather (not your grandpa) study with JWs?

    If your father is still having doubts, invite your parents to study the bible with you. Start at the beginning of a book in the NT and continue to read it from beginning to end without jumping around like the WTBTS teaches JWs to do to indoctrinate potential recruits. Try to show your mother how the Pharisees and Sadducees used BITE control techniques to victimize JWs without saying BITE control techniques. You could ask her questions about how Jesus Christ felt about the Pharisees and Sadducees to hopefully break the WTBTS's induced platitude that "Jehovah needs an organization on earth to guide JWs" without saying it to your mother. I recommend starting with Mathew.

    Have you discovered hobbies that your mother likes that are time consuming and would interfere with her attending meetings or going in FS?

    Does your mother suffer from any unexplained illnesses (i.e., psychosomatic disorders)?

    Best of wishes helping your mother to critically think for herself.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    IloveTTATT ... It sounds like your mom loves the truth ( TM) because her grandpa... told it was so. How did he know?

    One of the hooks the crooks have been using with a lot of success, is . We HAVE the truth ( tm ).

    They keep pounding this nonsense into seatwarmer's fertile mind's until they too, like drones repeat... "We have the truth ( tm ).

    WT says... Study the Bible with us. We have the truth ( tm ). lol You NEVER study the Bible. You regurgitate WatchTower printed material.

    What a lie and a laugh... Study the Bible with us. We have the truth ( tm ) Barf.

    Your Sweetheart mom has heard those whitewashed lies hundreds, and hundreds of times.

    It is imbedded in her mind like her name and date of birth. It is just there.

    They do it intentionally like any good, snake oil salesman.

    They have mesmerized your good mother with their slippery words.

    She is older. Are they also grooming her to take away your inheritance? The WT loves doing that you know.

    (((Hugs to you my friend, for loving your mother enough, to want to wake her up, and get her out)))

    LoisLane

  • ILoveTTATT
    ILoveTTATT

    Thank you Lois!

    I do love my mom, and my dad, and I have been constantly repeating that to them... My love-bombing is genuine, though... I am constantly trying to help my dad, it seems like he opens his eyes, but blink and he will start shutting them again... so I constantly have to keep reminding him of stuff. In fact, I think it is time to introduce him to www.jwfacts.com, so that he can investigate the WT doctrines for himself.

    He wants to listen to me but sometimes feels like I pressure him. So I said, dad, it's because I fear that you will fall back on mind control... he said, "don't worry... just let me do the investigation on my own"... so I told him, "fine, I will introduce you to this website... explains everything, and here, have this USB with ALL the WT literature"...

    I am spending more time with my mom, and I know for a fact that she loves dancing, and she knows a lot of normal people at the gym and talks to them... so she's not AS indoctrinated as I thought... I love her TRUE self, she is a wonderful mom and person... and I am learning to just ignore the cult BS... she notices my reaction and quickly moves to another subject.

    She's had a lot to go through, and so I think that her going to a psychologist REALLY helped her face other fears, and perhaps, it will help her face the fear of critizising the WT Society...

    ILTTATT

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    Don't give up, you never know she just might wake up. I am amazed at the ones who are finding out it is a pack of lies. I know you have read Steve Hassons book so that will help you with what you are doing. You obviously love your parents a lot so be careful, you don't want them to shun you before you get them out.

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