Were you always guilt-ridden? (page 2)

D wiltshire

One of the things that help me out of the Borg was the fact that I noticed that I was turning into a wimp, afriad of this and afraid of that I felt that's not the way I want ot live my life worrying and alway feeling guilty. So I did what ever I could to stop feeling afraid and guilty, which help me come out.

I think the WT works hard to make one feel guilty because if you feel guilty and worthless you won't have enough nerve to question them you will naturally feel you are wrong and they must be right since you are so full of guilt and worthless.
Very cruel if you ask me. Never let anyone put you on a guilt trip it's selfish and cruel.

Join the Watchtower or you will die.
Only Jehovah's Witnesses have the TRUTH all other religions EVIL and from the Devil.
You must beleive the Watchtower or you're going to die a painful death forever, isn't that really GOOD NEWS?

Solace

I think I felt the most guilt when I was young and in school.
I was always with "worldly" friends and doing "worldly" things.
I just knew I was going to go down, with my pagan self, in the forever awaited Armagedon.
I think that is awful to do to children.
As I got older, I noticed all the hypocrisy in my family and the congregations I attended. I felt much better about myself from then on.

rmayer32

Guilt was something I always felt. I was young (14) when I got baptised and got out when I was 18. Thing is the reason I got out had nothing to do with not believing it was the truth, it was simply that I thought I did the honorable thing because I wasn't "Living my life in a way Jehovah approved". While in though I was always trying to do more and more all the time because it was obviously expected of you. I had numerous elders and M. servants always tell me I was well on my way to becoming one of the younger M. servants which at the time I think the age requirment for that was 19. Every summer I would Aux Pioneer and then feel like I should be putting in more and more hours then even required.

Needless to say even though I was still brainwashed at the time I da'd myself the relief of not having to live up to impossible expectations was tremendous!

Scully

The WTS is a shame based belief system, and it only works when it can induce its followers to feel guilt. So, yes, I felt guilt all the time as a dub.

If I was making the national average in service, I should be doing more.

If I auxiliary pioneered, it wasn't good enough.

If I gave impromptu talks for no-shows, it wasn't good enough.

If I memorized a bazillion scriptures and could explain the "time, times and half a time" 'prophecy', it wasn't good enough.

By the time I gave up trying to be good enough for the organization/ Jehovah (they are supposed to be the same, right? ) I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

The spirit of competition between individual JWs did the same thing. The way they would always announce from the platform who was auxiliary pioneering that month, and then the special dinner for all the pioneers every couple of months... but did they ever have a special dinner to encourage people who were sick? or people who had missed a meeting? or people who were struggling with serious problems and still making all the meetings anyway??? nooooooooooooo of course not!!

The best book I've read about the guilt induced by shame based belief systems like JWs is called "Tired of Trying to Measure Up" by Jeff VanVonderen. It opened my eyes for the first time to the spiritual abuse that I was being subjected to by JWs. Before I read the book, I knew something was dreadfully wrong, but once I read it, I was able to identify what it was that was sapping the life from me.

Love, Scully

Lady Lee

outforgood

the borg induced guilt does not have to stay with you forever. Mine has gone and I feel no guilt at all when I am breaking one of their rules.

I think the there are a couple of things that contribute to this. Firstly, I no longer believe in their rules or in their power to make those rules and impose them on others. This means their rules have no power over me just as they have no power over me. And as the borg says the more you break a rule the less guilt you will feel - they got one thing right. The first few times I signed a birthday card or celebrated xmas there was the odd feeling. But if I was really being honest it wasn't really guilt after all. It was fear of getting caught - fear of a jw seeing me break one of their rules. And their is a huge difference. Once I lost the fear of being caught then the feeling left.

Secondly there is a difference between other imposed guilt (such as those set up by the borg) and a guilt from recognizing that one has done something wrong that either hurts themself or others. I grew up in a home (even before the JWs) where I was blamed for everything. As the oldest I was blamed if the younger kids made a mess or too much noise. When my parents beat me they told me I was bad and "made them do it" When my father sexually abused me he told me it was my fault and the police would blame me when they found out. When my mother caught her boyfriend abusing me she blamed me saying I seduced him. A life-time of other-imposed guilt and then the borg. I tell ya I was a prime candidate for their guilt trips. It was so freeing to let go of all that other-imposed guilt.

I still feel guilt. But it is based on my actions - what I do and what I am responsible for. If I say something to hurt someone I am responsible and can make amends. If I were to commit adultery I would feel guilt because it hurts my husband and myself. This is an appropriate response and healthy. When I make choices that are unhealty to my sense of well-being and then suffer the consequences theough guilt that I deal with and change my thinking and behavior.

All the guilt/fear imposed from others is not my problem. I have a healthy moral code and do the best I can. I make mistakes, learn from them and change what needs to be changed. Then any guilt is no longer part of the equation.

We don't have to live in fear and guilt. We can be free of that. Scully mentioned a book by Jeff VanVonderen. Another I would recommend if "Healing the Shame that Binds You" by John Bradshaw.

Aspire to inspire before you expire

DanTheMan

It is so nice to see that I wasn't the only one who felt this way. The nonstop "are you doing all you can", "are you living up to your dedication", "are you using every opportunity", it just wore me out and made me feel like shit all the time. I'm not a preacher. I never will be. It is ridiculous that the WT expects every Christian to be an evangelizer in the same way that Peter, Paul, and Timothy were.

It is only since leaving the org and visiting websites such as this that I have come to see how fear and guilt are used by the WT to keep the dubs in line. However, this is a sick, codependent relationship. Dubs are like a battered woman who won't leave their lover. Who is to blame in a situation like that? Both play a role.

I am trying not to be angry or bitter over my experience. If it weren't for the JW's, some other religion would step up to the plate to take advantage of persons like myself. Some would even say that the Catholic church has cultish tendencies.

butalbee

Never in my life was I filled with guilt as powerfully intense until I started studying w/ JW's. I felt like everything I was doing was being scrutinized, the way I dressed, the kind of car I drove, that I had a flag hanging outside my house, even the morality of my own mother. I was never so despressed before in my entire life, I really felt like if I had to live like that I would rather die. I never knew this kind of feeling until I became involved w/ the WT.

lastcall

Sadly, I think guilt was the overwhelming motivator in my life. Especially through my teens and twenties. "I't's not about how much 'time' you get brother. It's about serving Jehovah whole souled. Now I'm gonna show you from the bound volume that "whole souled" equals: At least the national average, all the meetings and conventions, being an "example"... blah, blah......" I was fading away in my heart and mind years before I did in body. As I did, the guilt subsided. But I have to admit I still feel what I know is an inordinate amount of guilt. Old habits die hard.

Were you always guilt-ridden?

Share this