My husband is stepping down tomorrow night . . .

by Prisila 31 Replies latest jw friends

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  LyinEyes

  I am a former elders wife. I say that with great pride now LOL.
  Former being the prized word. I agree totally with Joy, you will enjoy so much more , now that he will have time for your family.

  I actually like my husband more now, we get along alot better, since he is not riding my ass about field service because someone was riding him about my lack of mid week activity. I know a run on sentence but had to put it that way,,,,,,,,,,, it was all so exhausting to me. I have relief and I dont feel pressure . A burden was lifted off of his shoulder too, but there was a little sadness in the beginning because he worked very hard to be a good elder and tried to help the trodden down ones. He knew it was a losing cause, but leaving those ones was hard for him. I dont beleive that everyone in the borg are evil, there are many outthere that are trying to make a difference. I know of some that are staying in for that reason only. But sooner or later they all see that they cant fight it alone and they need to think of their own families. I wish you both the best, the best is yet to come.
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  Angharad

  Good for him, I hope things work out well for you both.
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  MoeJoJoJo

  When my husband stepped down as MS (because of our doubts) we were very happy and have been happy about it since, but it was a little uncomfortable the night the announcement was made. It was announced something like this "Brother......will no longer be used as a ministerial servant". We were not prepared for the way it was announced, we thought they would say that he stepped down or something like that, but the way it was said I'm sure left questions in people's minds as to if he was removed for wrongdoing.

  Then we did the slow fade thing also.
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  Farkel

  Metatron is right: elders cannot just unilaterally resign. Its sort of like trying to resign from the real Mafia. The only difference is that the Mafia treats you better than the WTS when you resign.

  Farkel
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  Carmel

  I may be stating the obvious, but isn't it strange that serving your religion in "leadership" capacity results in the wife and family being neglected or pressurized? Something wrong with a religion that defines leadership in terms of the harm it does to the family...

  Oh well, guess I'm preaching to the choir....

  carmel
• 

  Solace

  I remember when my uncle stepped down.
  It was sad. He seemed changed somehow, almost humilated in a way. I hope this brings you closer together, Im sure he needs you now, more than ever. Even if someone knows the truth about the org. It still must be quite upsetting.
• 

  Beans

  The next step is to leave all together!

  http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com/
• 

  Pathofthorns

  Can anyone explain the not being allowed to resign thing? Is it like they can only "delete" you? That is really twisted.

  Anyway Prisila, good luck to you and your husband. I would tell them the reasons are "personal and private" (basically a "f@#$ you"). They tend to not let people leave too easily and fading away is rather difficult for elders who choose not to move out of the area.

  They want you in or out and hate the "fade" and tend to pester you until you either DA or you give them a reason to DF you. I think the best way is to tell them nothing and give them no explanations.

  Path
• 

  DB

  There is a letter to elders on the subject of resigning, it was sent around maybe 4 years or so ago.

  In the letter, mention was made of elders meeting with and 'speaking to' a brother who wished to resign. No specific mention is made, to my recollection, of trying to talk him out of it or not allowing it, but rather to discuss it, as one would expect.

  I believe the letter then mentions that, if the brother still wants to resign, the matter should be held until the visit of the C.O. I cannot recall exactly what is stated next, but my guess is that they'd want the C.O.'s input.

  It seems to be a more complicated process than one might expect. I remember sitting there when the letter was read among the elders thinking "geez, if a guy wants to quit, let him quit". I can see discussing his reasons with him, but I don't think that, per se, he is "not allowed" to resign. However, some of my recollection could be inaccurate. Also, there may be a portion in there about the elders' not accepting the resignation, and if so, that does just about amount to not being allowed to resign. But the fact is, I know personally of elders who did resign and there did not seem to be a fuss made. No elder ever quit from the body while I served though, so I am not sure exactly how the other resignations were handled.
• 

  lv4fer

  Good for him...Good for you...Praise the Lord!

  "The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself."

  Rita Mae Brown