by Ucantnome 27 Replies latest social physical
As a child my boundaries were violated by my parents, especially my father. I don't feel that children should be raised expected to hug and kiss but it be their own choice. You and your wife seem to care about each other...it is what is inside your heart and mind that matters, not just an outward show of affection. My husband never hugs me without my cooperation but we do. We have learned to feel safe acting on our love with each other.
Blondie
I never was a huggy sort until I left home. wasn't due to being a JW more to do with the area I was raised and my family background. I'm now definitely a hugger and much more demonstrative than I used to be. Hugs are good for your health
I am very much so, but my wife is not.
I am not a natural hugger, growing up I don't remember my parents hugging me, although they were not cold or unloving. I have learned to enjoy it though, so many people do hug, that is just how they express affection. It was awkward at first, but now it comes naturally. I think that is something that is more common among extroverts than introverts, but also influenced by your parents and how they brought you up. If you are extremely introverted, and your family does not show affection that way, it is unlikely you will ever be much of a hugger.
My husband and I like a little pub that is around the corner from our house. It is run by two women, they are great huggers, and many of the staff are huggers too. Sometimes we get hugs when we get there and when we leave and a few times in between. I have to say it feels good, and it makes you feel appreciated and welcome. The owners and staff are mostly of Philippine decent as are many in my community, so it may be a cultural thing, they seem very family oriented and affectionate in general.
Indeed, I like hugs for sure. But I came from a JW family where I was the most outwardly expressive in an emotional way of any of my JW family members. My mom is very expressive emotionally and loves to hug. My dad will hug, but he's not very expressive or conversational. My older brother is a cold fish as well.
I guess it just depends what kind of environment a person was raised in , but it comes down to just a variety of personalities or individuals. Not right or wrong- just different ways of showing feelings, emotions, and care. Some people might snort, nod , say " was up " ? LOL ! My father in law came from Boston, Massachusetts and he doesn't do hugs, I think he's a bit homophobic- but he prefers to just shake hands. As well as my brother in law, that's cool- no problem. Yet my wife Mrs. Flipper enjoys hugs and is very expressive that way. I think if two huggers are together it's a good thing. Perhaps a problem may come if one mate enjoys hugging and the other doesn't - then somehow through psychic revelations or osmosis some kind of expression of affection may need to be decided upon. Just to make sure one person is getting through to the other.
My mom would try to engage my elder dad in conversations at the breakfast table and he'd go through long periods of silence- then my mom would ask him " so and so - did you hear anything I was saying ? Then SAY something ! " Used to drive her crazy, and me as well because I like to talk or converse, communicate- my dad, not so much. Even all these years an epic conversation with my 88 year old dad is a 10 minute conversation. Just the way he is. Needless to say- we aren't that close. I'm closer to my mom. I love my dad- just don't understand him or know him as good as I might have all these years. He keeps things to himself
I had TOO MANY aunts growing up (my mother was the youngest of 7, plus a few from my fathers side) so every time you go visiting or they come to your house you just knew you were gonna get smothered. I don't initiate hugs, but so many folks I know do, but I don't turn away (like I always felt like doing as a kid)
NO. I'm happy hugging and kissing the wife but that's about it.
The cat's OK as well (hugging not kissing)
George
I am a hugger - especially with my wife and young son but even with my 18 year old son. My father was not a hugger and so I grew up a bit hug-repressed but I have gotten over that as I have gotten older. unfortunatley one fo the things we Australians inherited from the Brits was a diffidence about conveying emotion or affection but we are getting better at breaking away from this traditon with every generation. Hugs are good for your soul.
Didn't kiss your wife at your wedding! That is not normal.
I am!! Then again..I am Italian . ;)
