RESPONSE: Letting Go of the Need to Have Approval - MUST READ!

by gmason972 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • gmason972
    gmason972

    Thanks for the responses everybody!...Nice to know I'm not alone in this. The one thing that the Watchtower Society HAS TAUGHT ME is TO NEVER PLACE YOUR VALUE AND WORTH in the HANDS OF OTHER PEOPLE!...

    Once you look deep down inside yourself and LET GO OF THE NEED TO HAVE APPROVAL FROM OTHERS...You will find out things about you; you didn't know before.

    YOU WILL FIND OUT HOW TALENTED AND BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE!...You find out that whatever problem you are going through...YOU HAVE THE GOD GIVEN POWER TO MAKE IT BETTER!

    You don't need GROUP APPROVAL to be Happy or Successful in This Life!

    My experience has taught me that you only need 3 things to be truly happy and that is (HEALTH, WEALTH, AND HIGHER SELF)

    1. Good Health - The Healthy You are Inside your body, the better you will look and feel outside.

    2. Financial Freedom - (unfortunetely some people think that barely making it in life, or living on a wing and a prayer is a way of being humble, more spiritual, or closer to God - NOT!...WE HAVE ALL THE TALENT AND ABILITY TO BECOME MORE! - Even a tree grows as tall as it can, stretches every branch and limb that it can. Who said we got to live like a poor person to have God's approval.....URGGHHHH!

    3. Higher Self - Higher Self can be anything from meditation, spirituality (not religion), or whatever it takes to become one with the universe. (Think: The Law of Attraction)

    In conclusion: Thank All Yall for Yall's Comments (Lol, I Spoke like a True Texan Didn't I?)

    I don't hate the Jehovah's Wittnesses, but there is a hidden danger in getting too involved or involved at all. If you don't TRULY KNOW YOURSELF AND YOUR LIMITS...you will fall prey to what OTHERS THINK OF YOU and you will be a slave to others opinions and THINK THEY CAME FROM GOD!...THIS EXPLAINS WHY SO MANY ARE DEPRESSED, SAD, AND EVEN SUICIDAL!...

    In the WTS you end up becoming a "People Pleaser" just to fit in. DON'T DO IT!...TO HELL WITH PLEASING PEOPLE!....In the end..the friendly handshakes and smiles CANT PAY YOUR BILLS, WAKE YOU UP IN THE MORNING, OR PROVIDE HAPPINESS!...

    STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF AND GOD WILL STAY TRUE WITH YOU!

    PEACE OUT EVERYBODY!

  • Bruja-del-Sol
    Bruja-del-Sol

    This is 100% my cup of tea. I can only say a big loud AMEN!

  • braincleaned
    braincleaned

    I'm a spiritual atheist an I TOTALLY love this post.
    I'm posting the 3 points on my Facebook! PERFECT conclusion!
    THank you!
    Vince.

    (I put in my own spin, for I don't totally agree with the Secret — altough some points on positivism are well made.)

    Link (for those who have access to my Facebook):

    https://www.facebook.com/vmdeporter/posts/173185959556687

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    That is so true!! As JWs, ones are suppose to worry so much about "stumbling" others. Since everything there is 'conditional love.' and judgmental, we subconsciously learned to put on the JW robe or should I say "straight jecket."

    There was no allowance to be "true" to ourselves. "Love your neighbor, AS YOURSELF!" How many times did I read that? but somehow the WTS made it sound like to 'love your neighbor, but not yourself.'

  • braincleaned
    braincleaned

    For those who don't have access to my facebook, here's my post and comment:
    __________

    A commentator (gmason972) of one of the sites I follow pinpointed pretty much my understanding of Life and what happiness is:
    (I put in my own spin in [ ] brackets):
    ~~~
    You don't need GROUP APPROVAL to be Happy or Successful in This Life!

    My experience has taught me that you only need 3 things to be truly happy and that is HEALTH, WEALTH, AND HIGHER SELF.

    1. Good Health - The Healthy You are Inside your body, the better you will look and feel outside.

    2. Financial Freedom - [Money does not guarantee happiness, but the lack of money brings stress and unhappiness.]

    3. Higher Self - Higher Self can be anything from meditation, spirituality (not religion), or whatever it takes to become one with the universe [we all all connected with the Universe and all living beings]. -
    ~~~

    Comments:

    • His added comment on wealth says this:

    "unfortunetely some people think that barely making it in life, or living on a wing and a prayer is a way of being humble, more spiritual, or closer to God - NOT!...WE HAVE ALL THE TALENT AND ABILITY TO BECOME MORE! - Even a tree grows as tall as it can, stretches every branch and limb that it can. Who said we got to live like a poor person to have God's approval.....URGGHHHH!"

    • I would add to the Health issue, that you also need your loved ones to be healthy to be happy.

  • Legacy
    Legacy

    HI,

    Great advice. I'm there & I don't need any validation from men. It's nice to be encouraged but to need a constant pat on the back, not I. That can just be another one of the common denominators why some folks are drawn to the JW's. Maybe they are need by nature. They tell you when they are out in service, how long they were out there, how many studies & return visits...look at the fact we have to report time. That's right up the alley of a needy person..See me, look at me.... Oh yeah, they don't get them in, in time but that's because they feel they don't have enough time in the field or not many magazines distributed. But if this is Nov. & you didn't hand in your FS report for Oct., what is the point, November is gone. The Elders are just plain folks, some of them have let their position go to their heads & some of them are just like us...I decided, shortly after I got baptized & found out the truth about the truth, I was ok. I'm not impressed with MAN, at all. I have said all over this forum, that if this is God's org. well that is just nice, but if not...who cares.

    When I hand in my report, I hand it in whether I have 1 hr. a month or more. I did what I could, oh sure, maybe I could have done more, but I didn't. If an elder wants to come talk to me about it, so be it. I have a full time job, & other responsiblities...just like everyone else.

    I have found that many folks who are not witnesses have a need to be approved....it's some type of character (I won't say flaw), it's just how some folks are...like children, they can do something & look up at you with them big innocent eyes, all you can do is say, That is so great what you did...some folks are still stuck in "Kid Mode"...

    Again, it's nice to be complimented & encouraged, but I think if I don't....I'LL LIVE....but that's just me. I have taken along time in my life to feel comfy in my own skin.. it's a journey, that we all have to take, I'm over 50....if I'm not comfy in my skin now, then when ?

    Legacy

  • braincleaned
    braincleaned

    I hope I am not overstepping by adding here my own list. gmason972, you have inspired me to write my own interpretation of your excellent post.
    I found 5 essential points, all with added precisions for Happiness. This is based on my experience...

    Again, thank you for provoking thought. As you will see, your 3 points are there.
    THank you! What a great way to start a day... :)
    ~~~~

    Nobody needs group approval to be happy.
    Peer pressure can hinder the five most important points for Happiness; Health, Wealth, quest for truth, and contentment.

    1. Good Health - The Healthy You are Inside your body, the better you will look and feel outside.
    Happiness is also the good health of your loved ones, but that is not depending on you.
    Hence…
    Do not stress on what you cannot control. Focus on what you can. This is also linked to health.

    2. Financial Freedom - Money does not guarantee happiness, but the lack of money brings stress and unhappiness.
    A reasonable amount of ambition is needed to be all we can be — to ourselves, and others. We need to make money to be able to help those in need, another criteria of happiness. Also, never confuse ambition with greed.

    3. Higher Self - this can be anything Spiritual — like meditation, or whatever it takes to become one with the universe; we all all connected with the Universe and all living beings.
    Self respect and respect for others — including our animal family — generates a higher consciousness, and satisfaction.

    4. Quest for Knowledge. Facing our cognitive dissonance and being honest with ourselves.
    Making sure we are open to truth wherever it leads us, even if it is against our environmental/upbringing and natural bias.
    Never abandon questioning everything. Never let a group pressure you into fitting their own agenda.
    You have the right to change your mind and not have to answer to the dogmatism of others.

    5. And finally after all of this, Contentment.
    There will always be more… Contentment is the guard rail against frustration and toxic endeavors.

    There! ~~~~

    Notice how most of these are discouraged by the WTS... criminal imbeciles!

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    When I saw your first thread with "MUST READ" in the title, the first thing I did was not read it.

    Then I slipped and actually looked at this one a little. My mistake. Your thoughts are okay, I guess it's just your demeanor as someone with such experience that I don't care for.

    Maybe you are a former Governing Body member or Steven Hawkings' smarter brother or the foremost expert on psychiatry, but when you come on in your very first few posts to tell us we MUST READ your thoughts and strong suggestions for us, it is obvious that you think highly of yourself, but it tends to turn me off.

    So, good luck. If I see "MUST READ" in the title, I am sure to skip it, but that is my loss.

  • flipper
    flipper

    GMASON- Very well written and expressed thoughts ! I agree that we don't need to have others approval . We were conditioned by WT mind control to think we needed the WT leaders, elders, or fellow J-dubs approval and in believing that as some of us used to - all it did was stunt our true, authentic human development and character from blossoming .

    The only small difference I have in my personal viewpoint from yours is regarding your statement, " you have the God given power to make it better." No, for me I have the Flipper power to make it better ! Me, myself, and I to make life and things and relationships around me better. I take the credit for personally bettering myself in life- not God. As JW's we were always told that WE don't matter. We were always told that whatever GOOD came out of us- God put it there first , or we had it only because of God. That WE couldn't take the credit for our good qualities. I think that's a bunch of crap designed to keep humans down and subservient, and controlled. I feel within each human is the capacity to CHOOSE if you want to better yourself or be a benefit to this planet or others - or to be a person who lays down and doesn't give a damn.

    In my opinion all organized religions se this " we are so sinful and God is so good " crap to justify bad conduct in the first place. Like JW's or other religions claiming " imperfection " allegedly causes pedophiles or child molesters to abuse children. It's an example of a cop-out just to claim inherited sinfulness to justify bad behavior. Which I don't buy into ( the inherited sinfulness bit ). It's a good alibi or excuse for religionists to mistreat others and say " oh well, I'm so imperfect " and then to not accept responsibility for their actions- criminal or otherwise. WT leaders are EXPERT at this conduct.

    Anyway- just my 2 cents in how I see religion has been more of a detriment to people's personal growth than an asset

  • clarity
    clarity

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