How Do You Feel About All The Time You Wasted Being. A Jehovah's Witness? (page 3)

adjusted knowledge

I became inactive around 17 and completely out by age 21. I've been able to pursue higher education and a comfortable lifestyle. My time as a JW was not too bad. My father was not a witness but enforced their rules. My mother wasn't "strong" in the faith. She was viewed and our family as spiritually weak. The congregation condescending attitude help make the exit much easier.

The only "regrets" I have is the loss friendships I've could of had, and some childhood activities. However overall it wasn't that bad. Some good times while a witness youth, and best of all no "brother" every tried to touch my peeter.

sparrowdown

Yeah, I spent way to much time on the JW "venga bus," long after serious doubts set in.

It's more the time I spent being afraid of what others in the cong thought of me that I regret.

kairos

In 2004 I began a very delicate balancing act.

I started to immerse myself in new and exciting activities.
People would question me. Make stupid culty remarks about the time required to enjoy these things.

The balance was that I was a "strong" MS, aux pioneered every month where there were five full weekends, maintained a legit FS average, out on Public Talk assignments monthly and was running my own successful business.

I learned to enjoy my private life, while being an example in the hall in attendance, answering, reading, KH assignments, etc.

I was unknowingly starting to build a replacement social network for my eventual departure from the cult. It was only after I developed this new group of "worldly" friends and realized that they were now my "real" friends, that I then faded. I awakened in 2010 with the New Light, unscriptural and unteachable, "Overlapping Generation" letdown.

It still took more than two years to get out, while dodging assignments, rejecting an elder appointment, witnessing first hand congregation injustices and a divided BOEs, gradually slowing down and finally leaving for good in 2013.

I was baptized in 1989~

So, yes I'm working through anger issues regarding the feelings of being taken advantage of.
The time is lost forever. I'm trying to cope with that reality.

DesirousOfChange

I feel mad! I missed out on so many things as we all did. If you get out relatively young then yes you do have the rest of your life to look forward to but finding out the TTATT when you are older you have wasted the best years of your life sitting in meetings, going on ministry, going to assemblies, pioneering, studying for meetings.

"Mad" is an understatement. I wasted an entire lifetime. What kind of value can you place on that?

It's not the past that bothers me, its the future, or what's left of it.

Exactly. I don't have much "future" left in me.

Doc

Village Idiot

cognitivedizzy,

"Feel like... no words to explain, lost out so much teenage time... and i hate them for that" Same here. I can't blame myself because I was 13 and naïve when I got in, anyone can be fooled at that age. I was 21 when I got df'd for apostasy. Fortunately that was a relatively short period of time but it was the most formative years of my life. No plans for anything since I was living through 1975. Didn't even get my spinal curvature corrected - that can only be done as a teen ager.

minimus

I do think that even if we felt like we wasted our time, there's still time left to salvage and enjoy life, right now.

JamesThomas

I'm pretty much on board with freemindfade, on this one.

If you live in the past, you're depressed. If you live in the future your anxious. If you live in the present you can be happy.

In my world, most of our problems and angst can be traced to the mind habitually dwelling on the past (and extending it into the future which is just dwelling in more past), while at the same time being numb and blind to the present-moment that is generally void of problems. If you think about embracing someone while hugging your friend or lover, you miss all the wondrous real aliveness of the moment with your beloved. Same with all life.

It really helps to realize that you can stand back and watch the mind and all its commentary and story telling, and see clearly that none of it is you, because you are silently watching it (clearly see this and know this and you have just stepped outside the box that most humanity suffers in).

The mind can only express via learned past circumstance and knowledge gained. As far as the ever fresh and new reality of this moment it is speechless and pretty much useless -- unless you need to fall back on how to drive a car or bake a cake. 90+% of thought is needless and often painful (natures way of saying: "shut the fuck up -- be still")

Silent-presence is vast and beautiful, an extension of ones being, but it has to be appreciated and soaked in -- to know that.

yodastar

That is a most interesting question! Living with regrets is certainly not healthy and acceptance with grace leads to peace and allowing love into your life without judgement leads to amazing relationships all round....

HOWEVER - it has taken me 15 years to get to this place!!

Lets face it - it a CULT that dominated our every thought and action, lead us up the garden path in an all encompassing fairy-tale / nightmare with hideous rules and consequences, filled our lives with judgment of others and gave us a superior attitude and then to finally figure out we were not special leaves a big hole full of every range of feeling and emotion and for some of us it takes a while to work through.

Yep it was a waste of time but through that now so onwards and upwards eh?

Wasanelder Once

Duped

smiddy

I have mixed feelings about this question , some positives some negatives ,overall however , we as a family came out not too badly , considering some of the experiences on this board.

smiddy

How Do You Feel About All The Time You Wasted Being. A Jehovah's Witness?

cognitivedizzy,

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