Ok, so the time has finally come to register an account on this site. Not that I think I have much to contribute to the discussions here, but more out of a desire to show that yet another person has learned TTATT. I am a fader, not discussing TTATT with anyone as I know the inevitable outcome it would have. I do however hope to gradually plant small seeds in my best friend to make him wake up and see the organisation for what it really is - an organisation.
My first introduction to apostates I can't honestly recall. You see, in the past I have used this site to get a hold of the kingdom ministry whenever I have been inactive and not been able to get it from my congregation. I was at that time not impressed by what i read here though, to me the image of apostates as bitter people was reaffirmed by what I saw here so I didn't pay any attention to any of the material readily available here. The turning point for me was the new definition of "generations". To me that was the moment I just went "what the ####?" inside, and then it all started crumbling down. How could God's spirit be guiding these men if they had to change "the truth" all the time? Together with the lack of humbleness towards all the other failed "truths" in the past I couldn't stop asking myself how this could be the organisation supposedly ledby God himself, a God that is incapable of errors? I kept having doubts for a good while continuing with attending meetings, doing volunteer work in kh maintenance, at assemblies etc. like a good little slave is supposed to. Eventually my nagging doubts led me to start my own studies and google opened a world to me that I could never have imagined was there. I have gone from having doubts about certain things about the religion, to being sure it's all bullcrap.
Today I am officially an inactive "witness", but personally I consider myself agnostic with no faith in the bible. I am open to the idea that maybe evolution is more then a theory, but I have never done any research on it beyond pondering the subject in my own mind and finding it hard to wrap my head around it. The only reason I consider myself agnostic and not atheist is that - perhaps because of indoctination since childhood - I feel that the complexity and the order of everything in the universe is a sign of a plan, or order if you like. However I do not believe that whoever or whatever is behind the universe has written a book and is hiding in the sky telling a select few people what he wants from us. If there is a God it is clear he really don't give a crap about us and what we do.
Losing my religion has been an emotional rollercoaster that I have not yet completed. Giving up the idea of paradise, ressurection and a God to fix all our problems was hard. But on the other hand, giving up on slaving for imperfect(that's a term i have to get out of my system) men running an imperfect organisation, not wasting my life bothering people at their homes to try to give them something they don't want and to not feel constantly guilty for not doing enough, not being good enough is liberating beyond expression.
I no longer have to put on my fake seller persona and go out to push magazines on people, I don't have to pretend the memorial talk was "so nice" when it was horrible, I don't have to defend the disgusting shunning policy, I don't have to risk my life refusing blood and I no longer have to worry about demons and evil "worldly people" who's only mission in life is to refuse me a life in paradise.
I am free, no religion shall ever entrap me again.