Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
My wife and I are born ins. We have 2 beautiful children. My son will be 5 in 2 weeks and my daughter will be 2 in May. We live in Colorado north of Denver. I am 30 and so happy I got out as young as I did.
Were you a born in or a convert?
Born in.
Are your parents / family JWs?
My mom was baptized in 1974. My sister, 12 years older, is an uber dub with her MS husband. Great people, just misled. My brother, 9 years older, never fell for the Bull Sh*t fantasy. Then me, the baby, left at 27. My dad left when I was 2. I never had much of a relationship with him. From what it sounds like, a big part of why he left is because of how religiously nutty my mom was/is.
How many generations have been JWs?
On my side of the family it started with my mom.
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
I ran microphones and the sound box. Also did the magazine counter a few years. I hated talking on stage and never wanted to be a ministerial servant of above. Never pioneered.
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
Yes. Whole heartedly. I think that was why it was so devastating for me when I left. I have emotional breakdowns a couple of times.
Did you get baptised? When and why?
I got baptized in 1997 at the age of 13. I did it because I wanted to be in paradise as it was “any day now”.
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
I am a recovering alcoholic. This December 3 rd will be 3 years since my last drink. I had a judicial committee meeting because of drunkenness. I was “publicly reproved”. I felt like this was what I needed. I wanted help so bad. The elders knew years before this that I had a problem with alcohol. They never did anything to help then and they didn’t do anything to help after the announcement. I thought for sure this time I would get the encouragement I needed. About 6 months after the announcement, there was nothing and I thought this can’t be the “loving” organization I came to love. I started doing the “independent research” the BORG tell you not to do. The blood issue is where it started, then the UN, Mexico/Malawi and child molestation cases sealed the deal.
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
Internet to start. Then from the BORG’s own publications.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
I found myself driving to and from work on multiple occasions breaking down crying. I never even considered my wife might leave me if I left the org. After reading some stories of families breaking up after a spouse leaves, I realized how prevalent it was. I was very fortunate my wife followed suit a little more than a year later.
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
It was a quiet and very quick fade. I stopped going all together about 2 months after opening “Pandora’s Box”. I remember it was a Sunday. We were past the 8 week period when we were going to start telling people we were pregnant with our second. She was home sick because of “morning sickness”. I left at the half and didn’t know it at the time but that was going to be my last meeting.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
I didn’t have to convince my wife. It took her just over a year, but she finally opened up to me and told me she never really believed. She just went through the motions. She took her time telling me this, just in case it was a phase I was going through. She didn’t want to say anything she couldn’t take back. Once I started celebrating holidays and birthdays she realized this was not a phase and opened up to me.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
My relationship with my mom and sister is strained. I have learned to be extremely careful with what I tell them. My mom unfriended me on Facebook when I “liked” Crisis of Conscience”. I told her I would block her from seeing my “likes” in the future. I also block them from seeing fun holiday and birthday celebrations. My mother-in-law still treats me the same. Her brother is in the same situation. He actually used to post here on JWN. Before I left, I would love to challenge him in debating the “truth”. I think the main reason my MIL goes is because of the social aspect of the org…friends wherever she goes.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
I lost 2 really close friends. Whenever I run into JW’s I knew, they usually give me a hug and tell me they miss me.
How long have you now been out?
2 ½ years. It will be 3 around Aug/Sept.
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
Not at first. Slowly I started realizing all the things I could do now that I left. Smoked my first cigar. Smoked MJ for the first time a few weeks ago. Holidays/birthdays. Grew a goatee. Nothing crazy.
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
I went back to school. I am about to complete my first semester of schooling. I’m trying to get into Nursing.
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
No.
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
Red pill. No regrets.
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
I slowly became an atheist after a lot of research and soul searching.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
I hate what religion is and has done to society. I have little respect or tolerance for religion.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
Hell no.
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
I have met one JWN member, Diest.
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
All regular people. We have become very close with several of our immediate neighbors. We have been to and had them over for birthday celebrations and BBQ’s. We were also invited to join one neighbor for Thanksgiving. We ended up going to my brother’s for Thanksgiving.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
Yes. I find people think its fascinating hearing about the nutty religion.
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
I pity the fools who follow as I was a fool for 27 years. I hate the leaders for continuing their money making scheme.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
A smile and a sometimes a hug. We live in the same house as we did before we left. But since we’ve had Halloween and Christmas decorations up, we haven’t had anyone come by. I wouldn’t be surprised if we get a registered letter or 3 elders knocking on the door soon.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
Slow and steady. I think my MIL is the only one we care about who might wakeup one day. Slow….and….steady….
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
I like what my brother tells me. “I believe the internet is where religion dies.” Eventually I think this will be the outcome of the BORG. However, I don’t think this will happen in my lifetime.
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
Lost 2 close friends.
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
Missing out on joyful occasions such as birthday and Christmas celebrations.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
Neither really. If it wasn’t for the BORG, I would have never met my wife and had this life. I love my life, especially now.
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
Saturdays and Sundays with the family doing activities such as mini golf, zoo, bowling ect. Weekly meeting time is now spent relaxing watching TV or going to class or doing homework.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
I find the changes amusing.
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
Posting on JWN and occasionally talking with Mrs. Dazed about past beliefs. She doesn’t like discussing the religion. She prefers leaving the past in the past.
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
I enjoy reading their stories. As in every community, there are many bizarre ex-JWs.
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
Not sure. I’m trying to take my wife’s advice and completely move on. I hope I will one day stop thinking about anything JW related.
Do you fear the future?
No. I only fear dieing in excruciating pain. I don’t think there is anything past this life, but I do hope I am wrong.
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
Run as far and fast as you can. Take the time YOU need, no more or less. The sooner you get out, the sooner you can really start to live.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
I would stop myself from getting baptized. I would also tell myself not to worry so much.
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
Not at all.
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