Well, I should know better. A brick wall comes to mind.
Who is playing word games?
You are uncomfortable with your own answer. The aborted fetus in the ectopic pregnancy example is a life lost. You say the purpose is important. Have you thought through the implications of this? Will an expectant mother have to pass a purpose test to end a pregnancy, that is prove it is not for selfish reasons? What is more selfish than saving her own life?
The reason one life is more valuable than the other in this example is that the fetus is not viable. There is no potential future for the fetus; it cannot survive outside the womb. Which brings me to the suggestion that I offered (a biblical suggestion no less) that life begins with breath.