Feedback on Letter

by mrhhome 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  mrhhome

  Looking for feedback. To bring you all back up to speed, wife is ex-JW. Shunned by her brother and parts of her family at uncle’s JW funeral. I ripped into her brother pretty hard. Since then, there has been some e-mail traffic back and forth. Her JW mom seems to be attempting to reconcile. Her brother’s latest correspondence was typical JW nonsense. “I am trying to respect your believes, but you are not respecting mine.”

  My dilemma is this. I do not want to impede the reconciliation with her family. At the same time, I want to make my position clear. This crap needs to end. After sitting on it for a couple of months, I have crafted the following reply to her brother.

  ***************

  I think you were right to focus on the “respect” theme, but, I have to ask. How did you respect my beliefs?

  I quietly avoided the Jehovah Witness issue for 13 years, despite knowing the whole ugly story. I did so out of respect to my Witness in-laws and my desire to avoid unnecessary conflict. By contrast, you all decided to make an issue out of it while [my wife] was attending a funeral to support her father. Is that respect?

  Your sister is a faithful wife who prays with her children, feeds the poor, visits widows, and teaches children the bible. While it may have not been your intention, this is the woman you essentially called a slut (1 Cor 5) in front of her family. Is that respect?

  Given that the current Jehovah Witness policies towards the disassociated date back to the Raymond Franz incident, is it disrespectful or unreasonable to question the motives of those who set those policies?

  Like it or not, we are going to have to deal with these issues from time to time. How you run your household is your business. However, [my wife] is part of my household. If the Witnesses have an issue with [my wife], too bad. I expect her to be treated with every respect, regardless of the circumstances or who is involved.

  I am willing to put January behind us as an unfortunate mistake for all involved, but I am not going to appease the Witnesses at the cost of throwing [my wife] under the bus.

  ******************

  Thoughts?
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  AudeSapere

  Your wife is so very lucky to have found you.

  I like the letter. Not sure that the average JW knows about the 'Raymond Franz incident', but that's not a big deal. They can always google it if they have questions.

  -Aude.
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  bohm

  Mr. Home: all the points are great, the problem is you are not discussing with a resonable person and great points are properly not going to work because he will ignore them.

  I think you should try to remove as many assertions as you can and try to ask him what he mean by "respect", "respect for beliefs" and how he view it to have respect for someones wife -- yours or some other wife. Perhaps throw in the question if he has less respect for your wife than another person; he would have to answer no and it will be contradicted by his actions.

  Make it very clear the purpose is to get an answer to that question. When you get an answer, you have a standard to hold him to.
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  Watchtower-Free

  
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  PaintedToeNail

  It sounds really good to me. I like it, you sound like a wonderful man.
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  NVR2L8

  Unfortunately with JWs it's their way or the highway. There is no room for compromise when it comes to their rules. Your reasonableness will not be reciprocated.
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  Hortensia

  I love it that you love your wife. I don't think you'll get anywhere with the asshole BIL, but go ahead and try. Let him know he can't treat your wife that way.
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  Oubliette

  They need to be called on their abusive bullshit. Well done!
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  mrhhome

  You all make some good points. (1) I am trying to reason with someone who is unreasonable, which is a waste of time. (2) I should try to get him to define what he considers "respectful" behavior. (3) There is no compromise with the Witnesses.

  If I get a rational response, I think that I will follow the "How do you define respect?" train of thought. Realistically, I expect some absurd JW responsible. At which point, I am going to lay down the law.
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  Crazyguy

  I would throw in some stuff that Jesus taught about loving one another and even your enemy and not to judge or exalt, then i would ask so you guys think you're the most christian of all christian religions so why then do you not follow Jesus teachings?